Disenchanted
by letzigprincess
Summary: Young Isabella Swan happily greets her father, who has just returned from a long trip, only to receive news that will change her life forever. A fairy-tale-like love story based loosely on a beloved tale. Contains dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my try at creating a Twilight fanfic based_ loosely _on The Beauty and the Beast. I know it's been done before but I started it and couldn't stop...soon realizing I didn't want to. This isn't set during a specific date in time and the locations are used loosely. They are not as we know them today...and don't try giving me a history lesson...they probably weren't there in the time that I am trying to create. This entire story is FICTIONAL and it isn't all sunshine. For many of you, it will bring unexpected surprises. Be warned. **

**Chapter One**

**A Bittersweet Beginning**

"Father! Oh, thank the heavens! You're home!" Isabella cried, running through the large gate surrounding the gardens and her childhood home. Her father looked tired, almost weak, and definitely weary. "What is it? What's happened? You're home, this calls for..."

"Bella, my sweet, your father is no longer as strong as he used to be. He needs his rest," her father, Charles, responded, putting an arm around her shoulders and kissing her forehead. "How is my darling?"

"Good, father. I'm glad you're home. Miss Charlotte is preparing your favorite meal and Alice is going to have dinner with us. Oh, I hope that's okay..."

"All is fine, my dear. Ah, Jacob, how are you?"

Isabella blushed as Jacob Black stepped in to retrieve her father's luggage from the carriage. Jacob Black was a wanderer as her father had called him many years ago when he wandered into their lives. It was only a few months after her mother passed away and she was out picking berries for a pie that their servant Charlotte was going to make for dinner. She was just shooing the birds from the beautiful blueberry bushes when he had approached her. Her father, Charles Swan, had always told her to stay away from strange men but he was different. His skin was a darker color, though not as dark as Charlotte's. He had deep brown eyes like hers but they seemed to come alive as he had looked upon her. Peter Randall, the man in charge of the stables, had found the two laughing easily together.

Isabella had practically run to keep up with the two men as they made their way to her father so that Jacob could be introduced. That was four years ago and he never wandered away from them. She was to turn eighteen in less than a week and wished more than anything to be betrothed to Jacob. He could always make her smile. So, the day her father returned from his trip abroad and asked her to take a walk with him, she hoped that it was about this subject that he seemed so weary. There was something off about him and she knew that no matter the suitor, father's had a hard time giving away their little girls.

"Isabella," he began as they crossed the wooden bridge that lead into town, "my sweet, your mother and I had always hoped that you would find someone...special...who had the ability to love you as much as we have."

She bit her lip. This was it. While she and Jacob would steal looks from each other when no one was paying attention, she knew her father had to know her feelings. Since she was a little girl he'd always been able to read her like an open book. Surely he knew. He must know. "Oh, father..."

"I've made an arrangement for you. In Seattle. There's a man there by the name of Edward Cullen. He's a few years older than you but his wife has just recently passed."

"Father..."

"I've spoken with him and he's rather wealthy. In fact, I owe him my life, Isabella. You see, I was delayed in coming home because I was attacked. Master Cullen found me and fought to help me. I dare say that I wouldn't have made it back here without him."

"What are you trying to say, father?"

"I feel that he's more than qualified to care for you the way you should be..."

"What are you saying?" Isabella asked again, this time her eyes wider, scared of what was actually happening.

"You are to be wed a week from today..."

"To whom?" Bella breathed, her hand coming up to cover her chest. Knowing well and good who he meant—and it wasn't Jacob.

"Master Cullen."

"Father, please, I do not even know this man! Jacob is right here..."

"Jacob Black has no family. He has no money."

"So that makes him...him," Isabella fought for the right word, "unworthy?"

"My sweet, please. Your mother would want you to be with Master Cullen. Do you not see what this could mean for you? His family is one of importance."

"We are Jacob's family now. Are we not important?"

"It's not to be negotiated, Isabella Marie. We will make the announcement at dinner, when we happily celebrate my return home. Alice will be there. I need you to see Isabella that Master Cullen is better for you. He can give you what Jacob can not. He can _protect _you from what Jacob can not."

Isabella bit her lip to keep from crying. She tried to remind herself that this man had saved her father. Her father was all she had left. Therefore, she owed him as well. Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes and nodded before opening them again. "We shall make the announcement tonight."

~EA~

Standing in the doorway of the small kitchen, Isabella watched as if from a distance as her family laughed at the stories her father was telling. They were stories he had collected from his travels, and had he not just sealed her fate while on that trip, she would have been laughing right alongside him like the others. Tonight was different. She would be joined to Master Cullen in just a short week.

"Isabella, come!" Alice Brandon, her best friend and closest neighbor said cheerfully. Isabella sat down beside her father who was at the head of the table while Miss Charlotte brought out fresh bread and vegetables.

"Smile, Isabelle," Jacob said, using her shortened name—he was the only one who ever did so, "Master Charles has returned!"

She tried to smile, the Lord knows she did, but it was forced and the good Lord knew that as well. Her father cleared his throat. "Well, young Jacob, we have even more reason to celebrate tonight. This time next week, our lovely Isabella will be joined in hand to a man worthy of all her beauty."

She couldn't look away from Alice's face, which was full of shock and wonder. Not because she was transfixed but because she couldn't bring herself to look the other way, the way of Jacob. Surely, he was not going to take this news well. While she was looking at Alice, she wasn't actually paying attention to her until a shrill squeal broke the silence. "Isabella, how lucky you are!" Alice exclaimed.

"I'll start work on a dress. A proper dress, white as snow," Miss Charlotte said, looking down lovingly on the child she had been there to help raise. Isabella gave her a weak smile. It wasn't until she'd pushed her vegetables around her plate about ten times that she stole a glance at Jacob. He was eating, almost furiously, his head down as he avoided looking at anyone. He didn't speak a word for the rest of dinner.

"Alice, would you like to come with me?" she asked, standing up after all of her ham was finished. "I'd like to go for a walk. Father, is it okay that I walk her home?"

"Not by yourselves. Ask Peter to accompany you. Go straight there and straight back. Whatever you do..."

"Don't talk to strangers," she finished, giving him a smile. "Let's go Alice."

Completely forgetting about Peter, the girl's busted through the door and into the cool, fall night. "Marriage! Oh, Isabella..."

"I want to stay here, Alice. I don't want to leave home. I don't want leave Jacob."

"I see the way you look at him. I had a feeling that was why you seem so unhappy. You should not be, though. You should be very happy. Your father said that Master Cullen is very wealthy. Around here, that's rare. Maybe he's a prince!"

"I sincerely doubt that, Ally. I guess I am afraid because it is all new. Alice, I have no idea how to be a wife. My father was so rarely home...I do not know how to be a wife to a man who is home all the time. I doubt even my mother could have taught me that. She missed father but they were not together often."

Alice's father had passed away when she was only a year old, fighting off pillagers who had been in their small village. Isabella supposed her best friend really could not help her much either. "I'm sorry, Ally. This is all so..."

"New?" Alice asked, using the word Isabella had before. "You have yet to meet him. Maybe you will like him the way you like Jacob."

Lowering her voice, Isabella whispered, "I love Jacob, Alice. How can I possibly like Master Cullen that much?"

~EA~

"I implore you to hold still," Miss Charlotte begged, desperately trying to finish tying up Isabella's white corset before lifting her beautiful, lace dress over Isabella's head. "There."

Being taken by the shoulders and turned towards the mirror, she couldn't help but suck in her breath and bring her hands to her mouth. "Oh, Miss Charlotte, it_ is_ beautiful."

"With permission from your father, I added a few pieces from your mother's own wedding gown. The sleeves were taken from it as well as this," she smiled, lifting a sheer, white veil from a box on top of her bed—a bed she would never again sleep.

"Perfect," Isabella whispered, tears stinging her eyes. "Father told me that my mother would want this. Do you think that is the truth?"

"I know it is, Isabella. Master Cullen has the means to care for you the way a man should care for his wife. Your mother is looking down on us now and always. You will never be away from her."

They could hear someone skipping down the hall and she turned to see Alice stop abruptly in the doorway. "You look...like...a...princess..." Alice burst.

"Thank you, Ally," Isabella said, tears pouring down her face now. "I wish so very much that you could be there for it."

"My mother does not wish for me to travel so far. Besides, Jacob will need me here."

Their arms will still wrapped around each other and she whispered into Alice's ear. "Tell him I'm sorry. Tell him I'm very, very sorry and that I feel as strongly for him as I have no question he feels for me."

"I will. I promise."

"Please write to me."

"I will."

"Alright, Isabella, are you ready?" her father asked, stepping into the room as Jacob came in behind him. Her heart broke as she watched her dear friend open his mouth to say something before closing it and carrying her trunk out of the room. She wanted to run to him, to hug him, but knew she couldn't. It would change nothing, and if it did, it would only make things more difficult.

When they were seated in the carriage, her father smiled at her. "I like what Miss Charlotte has done with your gown. Your mother would be so proud of you."

She smiled at him, placing her hand on his. "I worry for you, father. Please promise that you will come visit while on your travels."

"Of course. My dear, I know you are nervous but remember to have faith. If you have faith in our Creator and faith in your husband, anything is possible. Are you tired? You look pale."

"I always look pale," she smirked. Since she was little, the dark mahogany waves in which her hair framed her face made her skin look even more pale than it was. No matter how much sun she got, her skin never changed the way Alice's did. The way Alice's sometimes looked like Jacob's at the end of he summer when she was helping to work the fields.

She must have been tired, though. A trip that normally took three hours by horse felt as if it took ten minutes because she had fallen asleep. She awoke when the carriage started down a bumpy path and then up to a sprawling castle. It was huge with water surrounding it and a large draw bridge that was lowered for them to cross. "He_ is_ a prince?" she asked, breathless.

"No, his late wife was a princess."

"But he's not a prince?" Bella asked, still confused. She had always thought that a princess was married to a prince.

"He is _not_. Their marriage was...unconventional in arrangement. Princess Katherine had gone to her parents and begged for them to consent."

"And they _did_?" Bella asked, rather surprised.

"Her parents were killed before they could. She was the oldest heir. She has a younger sister but everything was left to the oldest. Master Edward acquired this castle and her money when she died."

"How did she die, father?" Isabella asked quietly, suddenly even more nervous to meet this man.

"During the birthing of their first child together," he answered even more quietly, as if he hadn't wanted to tell her that part.

The carriage came to a stop then and three men walked forward. She watched them from a little window beside her. Two of them were blonde and one had brown hair like hers. The blonde in the middle opened the door to the carriage and spoke to her father. "How were your travels, Charles? It is good to see you again."

The man looked to be her father's age and she immediately began to sweat. He seemed nice enough but she had hoped for someone her own age. Suddenly, a woman pushed her way through all of them. "Stop being rude, Carlisle," then peering in to look at Isabella, her face broke out with a huge smile, "at least let her out of that stuffy carriage."

Isabella smiled, allowing the woman to take her hand and help her out. She watched as the woman kissed her father's cheek and then felt the woman pull her into a hug. "You are very beautiful, Isabella. We've all been waiting desperately for your arrival!"

Isabella kept smiling but also kept glancing at the three men, trying to figure out for sure which was the one she was bound to be married off to. "Oh, heavens, I am being absolutely horrid. Allow me to introduce everyone!"

"You weren't being..."

"This strapping gentleman here is my husband, Carlisle," the woman beamed and Bella immediately relaxed with the knowledge that it wasn't him she was being given to. "This is our son, Emmett Cullen, you'll be meeting his wife soon enough. This fine young man is Jasper Whitlock. He's a military man and one of the best guards we have."

Bella swallowed hard, wondering where her future husband was. A small child ran out into the arms of the woman and she scooped her up. "Ah, and this is my angel. My darling granddaughter. Emily."

Bella knew the color was draining from her face. Her father hadn't mentioned that the princess's child had survived even though the princess herself hadn't. The little girl had bright gold locks, almost the color of Carlisle's but more youthful. Her blue eyes were brilliant and she wore the sweetest white dress. "Emily is going to be our flower girl."

"That would be lovely," Bella said, trying not to cry. She couldn't do this. It was one thing to become a wife...but she didn't know if she could be a mother. At least not immediately.

"Now," Esme said, turning as if searching for something, "I think we can head into the castle to exchange the vows. My dear son didn't want this to be a large, public gathering. If you'll follow me, I'll lead you to where everything will take place. Father Daniels is our priest; he's speaking with Edward now. Edward wished to have only the two of you and our little Emily in the actual wedding."

~EA~

Her father took her shaking hand as they stood at the entrance of the small, dimly lit chapel. "I'm so proud of you, my dear. You make a beautiful bride."

Isabella could tell that he did not like the fact that none of their family had been able to attend. She didn't know if that had been at Edward's request or if it was just too far of a trip to make for something that wouldn't take very long. Still, he was trying to make the best of the situation and she just wanted to make him happy as they didn't have that much time left to be together. "Mother would have loved how close we are. Thank you for taking care of me, father."

Soon, little Emily skipped down the short isle, dropping flower petals as she went. Then, they stepped into the small room and Isabella had trouble breathing. Purple flowers covered the alter and lined the pews where only a few people sat. Beautiful, stained glass windows were on each side of her, letting small amounts of light filter through and throwing prisms of colors around the sacred room. The pews were a light wood and there was a cream colored isle runner leading to the alter. That wasn't what took her breath away, though. It was the person standing at the end of that runner.

Taking a step forward, Isabella was in awe. Edward Cullen had deep green eyes that she could see from the very back of the chapel. They seemed to be boring into her, searching her. He stood in a suit of black and gray and his brown hair had hints of red. He was tall and when her father lifted her veil off before placing her hand in Edward's, she saw that Edward was also taller than her him. Giving her shoulder one last squeeze and kissing her cheek, he went to the first pew. She willed herself not to cry.

As the priest began to speak, she lost herself in the beauty that was her soon-to-be husband and it wasn't until Edward was prompted to respond to something that she was brought back to the matter at hand. His voice was soft yet firm. Velvet yet rough. She had no idea what happened or how she knew when to speak because she definitely was having trouble focusing with him right in front of her. Suddenly, the priest took each by their shoulders and turned them to the small congregation, announcing that it was official. Before Edward took her hand in his to proceed down the isle, he turned her back towards him and kissed her very lightly on the lips. "Welcome home, beauty."

**I hope you liked the first chapter and I hope you stick around for the second. Usually, I have a few chapters of a story done but this time it truly is up to the readers. If I get good feedback, it will be continued but until then I'll wait and see what happens. This is way different than anything else I've written. I know some of us expected a ghost hunting story and this is not that. I am working on that as well but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. Please, please let me know what you think but try to be nice about it. It's good to be back and I'd love to hear from all of you. Letzigprincess xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter Two**

**Acclimation**

_Welcome home, beauty. _

What he had said ran through her head as they strode out of the chapel and into the cool air outside. It really was a beautiful day but she couldn't help but shiver at the difference in temperature. Before letting her go, she felt Edward's hold on her tense before leaving her go. "Your father must return home soon. Say goodbye. I will give you a few moments."

Tears immediately came as she tried to calmly walk over. It didn't work. When she was just two feet away, she flung herself into his arms and cried softly. "Oh, how I'll miss you. Come visit. Promise me you will."

"I promise, my darling. I know this is new to you but please try to enjoy your life here. Give it a chance."

Nodding, Isabella reluctantly pulled away. "I know you said that Jacob has no family. Please do not treat him that way, father."

"I wouldn't imagine it."

Edward came up beside them then, "Safe travels, Master Charles. Your daughter will be given great care."

Her father only nodded, a sad look on his face, and Isabella briefly wondered if he was regretting this. After one last hug, she saw him into the carriage they had arrived in together and watched as they left the walls of the large castle. "Isabella Marie, if you'll come with me, I will show you our quarters," Edward said beside her.

Holding her head up, Isabella continued after him, almost having to run to stay with him. Everything about this man screamed power and authority. Not knowing what consequences there might be for disregarding his wishes, Isabella made sure to keep up.

While the castle was gigantic compared to their small village house back home in Forks, she quickly learned that the place wasn't so large that she felt overwhelmed. The castle was split into three sections, three different wings that met in the middle to create a large open area. When you first entered the castle, you walked directly into that room, set up with tables and lit by large lanterns along the walls.

You then had three options. "Isabella Marie, this wing to our right is where my mother and father live. To our left, you'll find my brother, Emmett. If you head to the middle, you will find...our wing. It is almost time for dinner and I am sure you are tired from your trip. I will show you to our room and allow you to settle in."

She wondered where everyone was, usually after a wedding, people greeted and congratulated the bride and groom. None of his family or friends seemed to be there. They all seemed nice enough and she wondered where the young Emily was. About to open her mouth to ask Edward about his daughter, he lead her down a long corridor and the train of thought was lost. The hallway lead to small, open area that was just the right size for a nice library. There was a desk to the left and a large bookshelf that spanned an entire wall, even though there only appeared to be one book on the very top shelf. A door opened that lead back towards a few unopened doors.

Opening the first one on the right, Edward gave her a small smile and gestured her in. "This is our room. A washroom is right across from us. There are three other rooms, one of which holds weapons and two other sleeping quarters. Feel free to rest, I'll send Siobhan, our servant girl, to come for you when dinner is ready. My mother and Rosalie are planning something special to celebrate."

She didn't miss the exhaustion in his voice or his slight annoyance. She began to feel that he didn't want this anymore than she did. That feeling made her sick. "Thank you, Master Edward."

He gave her another small smile before leaving and closing the door behind him without saying another word. With a loud sigh, she laid back on the bed and looked up at the beautiful red canopy hanging above her. The bed was soft and she took awhile to revel in the comfort before sitting up and looking around. It was no secret from looking around that he was active, or at least had been, in the military. Times were hard and people were acting as vigilante's, taking what they thought was rightly theirs. She bit back tears as she thought of her mother who had died at the hands of one of these men. The most ironic part was that had the man just come home with her, instead of killing her, Charles Swan would have given everything he owned in exchange for his wife's safety.

Their family had a few chickens, cows, pigs and horses. She and Miss Charlotte, along with the help of Alice, had kept a fairly large vegetable garden and Jacob and Peter worked with the animals to provide milk, butter, and eggs. They also had some meats from the cattle and chickens but Jacob was also a prime hunter. Deer meat and turkey were a staple for their diets. She tried to push Jacob from her mind, her father was wrong, he would have been an excellent provider for her.

Frowning, she decided to write to Alice, the least she could do was tell Alice of the beautiful castle that was now her home and the surreal wedding ceremony she had just experienced. There was little to discuss about her new husband as she knew very little about him and she suddenly felt deeply alone. He had acted as if she wanted time to herself after the trip, but in reality, she wanted company. She wanted to know that she wasn't going to be alone for the rest of her life.

~EA~

Isabella tried to keep up with the woman she could only assume was Siobhan. She was rather elegant, even with her bright red hair pulled back in a loose ponytail with wisps fell down around her face. She wore a vibrant cornflower blue dress with a starched white apron over it. Isabella would never have guessed that she was anyone less of a family member or someone in the nobility. She had a feeling that this woman was treated with much more kindness than most servants. Her heart bled in her desire to see Miss Charlotte. Taking her hand, as they made it to the main hall, Siobhan lead her over to Edward. Soon after, a portly woman she would later learn was another servant, and Esme, as well as a woman who she didn't recognize came in carrying large pots and trays.

As soon as Esme saw her, her face lit up again and she made her way over. "Isabella, I trust that you had a good rest? I must apologize for not having something for you and Edward directly after, he told me not to overwhelm you...but we will celebrate now," she said, looking to Edward as if chastising him.

Edward had been deep in conversation with the man who was introduced as Jasper and when the other woman walked over, he smiled. The woman was tall, her hair the exact color of little Emily's, and she was very much with child. "Someone actually looks happy..." she said with an easy smile, sitting down beside Emmett.

Edward leaned towards Isabella, "Isabella, this is Rosalie, Emmett's wife."

"It's nice to meet you," she said, sincerely.

"You are quite the pretty little thing. A little young but definitely beautiful."

Isabella blushed about sixty shades of scarlet. Edward eventually cleared his throat. "Where is my little Emily?"

"With her beloved grandmother in the kitchen. Your mom is very excited for this, Edward. We all are, really. Well, here she comes now..." Rosalie laughed, pulling herself up with much effort to pick up the little girl.

"Darling, be careful. She's getting to be a bit big to pick her up in your condition..." Emmett scolded, standing as well.

"She's a beautiful little girl, Edward. You must be proud," Isabella said quietly to Edward.

He chuckled then and shook his head. "I didn't have much to do with it, Isabella."

"Then the princess was very beautiful," she smiled faintly.

His face fell immediately and the pain on his face nearly broke her heart. "You misunderstand, Isabella. Emily is not my daughter, she is my niece."

"My apologies..." she began, feeling absolutely horrible.

"Please do not speak of my Katherine."

"I'm truly sorry, sir. I..."

"It's forgivable now but I implore that you not do it again."

Once everyone was finally seated around the largest table, Esme stood and raised her cup. "We gather tonight to celebrate the joining of my dear son and the beautiful Isabella and the beginning of their life together. Isabella, we welcome you with open hearts and truly hope that you are happy here. Edward, darling, this is a new beginning. Embrace it and each other."

Edward glanced over at her with another of his crooked smiles and then turned back to nod at his mother. There was no mistaking it. Edward didn't want this at all. "Oh, Isabella, we have a few gifts for you. Just a few small things to welcome you."

They handed her gifts wrapped in expensive parcel paper and she opened them one by one with Edward's help. The first was a book, one that she had grown to love. Apparently, her father had expressed her love for reading to them during his first visit. The next was a beautiful white nightgown from Rosalie and Emmett, she could tell by the feel of the material that it had to have been expensive. The next package was much larger and from Edward's parents. There were two very fine, very expensive dresses and at the bottom was something that immediately brought the scarlet back to her cheeks. The tiny, white Christening dress really was beautiful. She opened her mouth to kindly thank them, but Edward spoke first, "Mother..."

"Don't speak to me in that tone, son. You never know when the good Lord will grace us with new life in this family..." Isabella could tell that it was a touchy subject and felt extremely uncomfortable.

Everything was delicious and Edward seemed to relax a little once his stomach was full. She even caught herself smiling and laughing along with him and his family. It wasn't until dinner was over and Edward was finished chasing his niece around that the reality of what was about to happen hit her. This was her wedding night after all. While she didn't have much understanding of what would take place, she had a general idea. It was obvious that her husband's mother wanted another grandchild but the thought frightened her a little. After all, the princess had died during child birth.

They said goodnight to everyone and took their time making their way back to their sleeping quarters. He closed the door behind them quietly and gave her an awkward, nervous smile. If you'll excuse me, I need to use the washroom. Feel welcome to prepare for bed while I'm gone."

When he left, she felt her breath catch and walked quickly to her trunk. Pulling out her sleeping clothes, she went to change but soon thought that she should maybe put on the fine, silky gown from Emmett and Rosalie. It wasn't until she had her dress off that she realized she needed help in getting the tight, new corset off. Tears of frustration came to her eyes as she pulled at the ties desperately. When the door open and she heard him step in, she grabbed the dress she had worn that day and tried to cover herself.

Her hands shook as she cried harder in embarrassment. This was her wedding night. He was her husband. They shouldn't be this way. "You are my wife, Isabella. There is no need for you to be afraid of me. I expect to see you. All of you."

"I...I can't..."

"You can and you will," he said with a little more force...and guilt.

"No, you misunderstand me, sir. I need help. My corset..."

He nodded then, knowing what the problem was.

She nodded and turned around. His hands worked at the laces until he was pulling gently and she felt the corset give. He let it fall. Before she could figure out what to do next, she felt his hands working her hair out of the braid Miss Charlotte had done for her. As her hair fell below her shoulder blades, she turned to look at him, tucking her hair behind her ear to look back. "I've never done this before."

"I know. Turn around."

Crossing her arms as if to shield her breasts, she turned to him. He took her wrists and put them down at her sides. Completely exposed to him, she watched as he sat back on the bed and began to unbutton his shirt. She couldn't take her eyes off of him and was glad for the distraction. His abs were taking away her brain's fear of what was going to happen. He stood then, unbuttoning his pants and pushing them down. This was the first time she'd seen an exposed man and her entire body felt like it was vibrating. She realized her legs were shaking and she had to remind herself to breathe. His eyes were on her body just as much.

"As my wife...I expect you to sleep this way every night. I expect you to keep what happens in our married bed between the two of us. My family is important but you belong to me, Isabella. My opinion counts above all else. This will also be the final time Princess Katherine will be discussed between us in this room. While I love her deeply still, you are my wife now and will be expected to act as such. I have no interest in creating offspring at this point and therefor, I believe it is time for us to rest. Please, join me for our first night together."

Every part of her wanted him. Whether it was because she was lonely from having just left her family or it was because she felt a strange attraction that she had never felt before, she wanted to be close to him. So, when her new husband walked around the bed and laid down, her heart broke when he didn't even face her again. On their wedding night, Isabella slept in a bed while completely naked next to a man who obviously had no feelings for her.

**~EA~**

When she awoke the next morning, he was gone. She was naked, cold, and left alone with her dried tears. The cold was nothing compared to the loneliness and, for the first time in her life, she didn't want to get out of bed. She wanted Miss Charlotte to appear with her clothing for the day, she wanted to rush across the bridge to Alice's house, and she wanted more than anything to watch Jacob help Peter in the stables as she used to sit and do for hours.

Pulling her composition book from her trunk, she dressed and went out to the library. Sitting down at the desk, she got to work in writing to her best friend. While she talked about the beautiful castle and the friendliness of her new family just the day before, today she poured her heart out. She could tell Alice anything and this letter held nothing back. Isabella wrote of everything from Esme's expectations of grandchildren to the emotionally painful first night with Edward. She wanted to write that the whole time she was lying next to Edward, she wanted to be with Jacob. That was wrong, though, and she knew it. So, she just asked Alice to tell her how he was doing in her absence. Thinking of all of this and actually writing it on paper made her jumpy. When the door flew open to the room, she jumped and closed her book quickly. Siohban just peeked in. "If you want breakfast, come now."

"I can hardly believe that this storm is supposed to be hitting already. How I hate these winters..."

"Mother, it's not a winter storm," Edward sighed.

"Well, I ran into Randolph at the general store and he said we could possibly get snow..."

"Mother. Stop. It is _October_..."

"It has snowed in October before!"

Emmett cut in then, "Well, either way, we'll have the fireplaces lit tonight. Jasper, Edward, what do you say we head out for firewood?"

"Take Riley with you," Carlisle suggested. "Since Eleazer has passed, I think he as well could use some companionship."

No one said anything, as if all quietly grieving, until Emily skipped in, hiding behind her mother's skirts. "Papa, can I play outside today?" her little face hopeful as she looked up at Emmett.

"If you promise to stay with one of us, then yes, you can. Also, you better dress appropriately young lady, I will not have you getting sick."

"And," Rosalie added, "you must eat your breakfast."

Emily walked over to Edward, who was seated next to Isabella but hadn't said more than two words to her since the night before, and climbed into his lap. "Uncle Eddy, will you stay with me outside?"

"I have to help your papa get firewood to keep us warm, darling."

"Then who?" she whined.

Isabella had always loved children and she loved to help with the children back home in her village. Until she met Jacob, she had wanted to become a school teacher at the little school house in town. She knew she could never be married if that were to happen as teachers were not permitted to marry. Now, she realized, Emily was the only child she would have to help care for. "Would you like to show me around, Emily? We could go for a nice walk and you could show me the grounds while your Papa and Uncle Edward bring firewood to keep us warm at night. Would you like that?"

Emily's face lit up and Isabella noticed that everyone was staring at her. That was the most talking she had done since her arrival the day before. Edward watched her with a strange look on his face. "Can we go for a walk now?" Emily asked, excited.

"After breakfast," Isabella reminded her.

~EA~

Isabella watched carefully as her husband's beloved niece balanced herself on a fallen tree trunk before jumping off and throwing her arms in the air as if to say 'tada!'.

"Bravo!" Isabella laughed.

Emily just looked up at her and giggled. Taking Isabella's hand, she lead her back onto one of the trails. "Are you having a baby, too?"

"No," she responded with a fake smile.

"Mama said that when ladies get married they get babies, too. Uncle Eddy had a baby once with Aunt Kate," Emily said sweetly, then frowned. "They got sick, though."

Isabella watched her, wishing more than anything to be that innocent again, but also not knowing how to respond to that. They came to a small black gate and Emily stopped abruptly. Behind the offending object were a handful of tombstones, one of which was very small. That one and the one beside it were covered in flowers and beautiful, folded papers. The wet grass that lead up to them was pushed down as if well traveled. "What's wrong, Emily?" Isabella asked quietly.

"We should go. Grandmother always tells Uncle Eddy that the dead are dead but the living are living. She says we can not get them confused. I don't like when she says that. It hurts his feelings," she answered. "Oh, look! I see Papa!"

The rest of the day was spent skipping happily over the large grounds with Emily, helping Esme with a pie for dinner, and even talking about the new baby that Rosalie and Emmett were expecting. The men had gotten what they felt would be sufficient for at least a few days and upon return, enjoyed a late lunch. By dinner, they were all fairly exhausted and Edward confided in her that he wished to return to bed early. Like the night before, Isabella undressed, but this time managed it completely by herself. Climbing into their cold bed, she immediately began to shiver.

Edward's arrival made her discomfort even worse and she laid still, praying that he thought she was asleep. Of course, her body chose this moment to betray her as she couldn't help but let out a shiver as the air from the hall outside hit her. He didn't say anything to her but he did lay on his side like the night before. A hard chill ran through her again and this time, the bed moved for other reasons. Edward must have rolled over to face her because she soon felt one arm come around and pull her towards him. He was naked, as was she, and his hand landed on her breast. It didn't feel uncomfortable though and she soon learned that he was one of those individuals that produced plenty of their own body heat. When he stayed quiet, holding her gently, she found herself drifting off in a restful sleep.

~EA~

The next morning, Isabella didn't wake up cold, in fact she was sweating...and her cheek was resting on a very toned chest. "You're awake, beauty."

With wide eyes, she bolted up and away from him. "I...why are you still here?" It wasn't what she had meant to say but it had definitely been what came out.

"I'm sorry if this upsets you," he said solemnly. "Today is Saturday and it is still early. Can I not enjoy my new wife for one morning?"

"Of...of...course you...can. Of course," she said, giving him the smallest of smiles. She knew she wasn't convincing anyone.

"I told my family that I will be spending the day with you. Unless of course, you do not wish for my company." Pulling the covers up and over herself, she pretended to be interested in the fabric and refused to make eye contact. "I wish to discuss some things with you. Now, allow us to get dressed and I will return here shortly with breakfast."

Isabella wore one of her plainer dresses and started writing, waiting for Edward to return. When he finally did, he set the tray of food on the library's desk and pulled a chair over beside hers.

"Thank you, sir, but I'm afraid I don't have much of an appetite."

He took a few bites, obviously annoyed with her, and set his fork down. "I think this is a good time to discuss, in detail, what I am expecting of you. First, your health is number one to me and always will be. You will eat every meal as offered and only when I think you have eaten an adequate amount will I let you not finish. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," Isabella sighed, picking up her fork.

"I also noticed that you have taken a liking to Emily. We do not have a teacher for her and it is entirely too dangerous to send her to the school house with other children. Lady Rosalie is expecting soon and we feel that you would be perfect to take over Emily's education. Esme has resources you may use and whatever you need, just ask, and we'll get it for you."

He cleared his throat then and set down his own fork. "That brings us to our marital relationship. My mother feels that what I need is an heir. I disagree with her. As of now, I do not wish for children. Therefore, relations between the two of us will not be an attempt at procreation, nor will intercourse even be introduced into our relations at this time. You are young, and believe me, you will understand someday why this means something good for you. You will be expected, though, to treat me and care for me the way a wife would for her husband. If you handle that well, I will take care of you...sexually... the way a husband would his wife. Are we understood, Isabella?"

Keeping her eyes cast down, she wanted to cry but just nodded her head. She hadn't the slightest clue what he had meant by that but something in his voice told her he was excited about it. "Now," he continued, "in return for you submitting to these expectations, I will reward you handsomely. I have money, Isabella, and would love to use it to splurge on my beautiful, young wife. I will do whatever it takes to keep you happy. Is there anything that I can do for you now? Something that could be done as a wedding gift from me to you?"

Isabella's eyes fell on her composition book and she bit her lip. "I wish that you would allow me to send letters through the post. Letters back home...to my family."

"If you agree to my conditions, I will agree to send them and to continue to send them. Remember, though, Isabella, what happens in our private life, stays here. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, now finish your breakfast. You need to keep your energy up, I have something special planned for us this evening."

**I am very, very pleased with the response I've gotten but I'm still not sure how long this story will go on for. This is so different for me and I really need feedback to determine if I should continue. In light of being something different, I'm also going to try something else that is new. If you've been through the journey of my previous stories, you know I don't give previews of the next chapter in exchange for reviews. Those of you who reviewed chapter one did get a preview of this chapter and I plan to continue with that. So, read and review. I'll send you a a short bit of the upcoming chapter in return :) Thanks for your support! LP xx **


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 3**

**Cursed**

They finished their breakfast before heading outside. A storm did come through the night before, leaving frost behind early in the morning. The grass still wasn't dry as they stepped away from the castle and made their way to the trails Edward told her about that looped through the forest. While she did enjoy the outdoors, where she and Alice had always played, that didn't mean that she wasn't clumsy. A few times, Edward had to warn her of stumps and other things she needed to watch out for. Since breakfast, she hadn't said a word to him, feeling almost as if he preferred it that way.

"We will have to tell my dear mother that she was overreacting to this storm we had last night. She should know better than to believe old Randolph. He's reaching that age where his sense is being outweighed by his graying hair."

They continued on in silence until they came to a small clearing and he veered her to the right. It opened up even further into a large, rather mushy, field. Despite the soggy ground, it really was beautiful with thick overgrown trees looming over a sea of never-ending green. A makeshift bench sat a little further down and he motioned her towards it. When she went to sit, Edward tugged at her hand to keep her standing. Surprised, she watched as he took off his overcoat, laid it across the bench, and then helped her down. When she gave him an appreciative smile and squeezed his hand a little, he reached up to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

"Please speak, Isabella. I've barely heard your voice in the time that you have been here."

"I don't have very much to speak of, Master Cullen," she said, keeping her eyes down at her hands.

"Please, call me Edward."

"I'm sorry, sir," she said quietly.

He gave her a small smile before rubbing his thumb over the top of her hand. "Do you like to be called Isabella? Do you prefer Isabelle?"

She froze, her heart breaking into a million pieces all over again. "As there are things you have asked me never to speak of, I beg you to never call me that again."

"My apologies. Surely, though, you have no objection to being just simply my Bella. Yes, I think Bella suits you well. My beautiful Bella," he said with a grin. She couldn't help but smile at that. She was a woman after all and he was a very handsome man. He nodded in acknowledgment "Ah, we have agreed upon something. Beautiful Bella it is."

Feeling like he was finally opening up with her a little, she asked, "Do you have no other name you prefer to be used?"

"No, Bella. I would very much like for you to just simply call me Edward. Will you tell me about your family? Your father seems like a very agreeable man."

"I love him very much, Edward," she smiled again, becoming slightly more animated.

"Will you share the whereabouts of your mother with me?"

She looked away then, the smile dropping immediately. "She died. A man killed her when she went to the market. He wanted money but all she had was the items she had just purchased. He killed her over a bar of soap and a block of tea."

"I am sorry for your loss." She opened her mouth to tell him she was sorry for his but caught herself. Finally, he prompted her to speak again. "Did you just live with your father?"

"No. We had one servant, Miss Charlotte, she was there since I was born. Peter worked the stables..." her voice trailed off. She could not bring herself to discuss Jacob with him. He had no reason to know about this man who his wife longed for. So, she decided to stay quiet once again.

"Is that the only family you know?"

"Well, my friend, Alice lives close by. She is my best friend...I mean was."

"She is the one you write to?" he asked, as if already knowing that the answer was yes. Isabella just nodded. "You're not a very talkative little thing, are you?"

"There is nothing for me to say, Edward."

"You speak easily with young Emily."

"I love children. I had once dreamt of becoming a schoolteacher. I knew I would not be able to marry...or have my own children if that were to become a reality."

He frowned, "Your own children? You are young."

"In the village I am from, many of the girls my age are already married and have children of their own. Even then, every little girl dreams of becoming a mother someday."

Silence seemed to envelope them. She shivered a little then, the air seeming to be just as damp as the ground. "Let's get you back inside, I can't have you getting sick. In fact...I...I need to apologize...for my behavior your first night here. I should have made sure to keep your warm. I seem to always be warm and sometimes forget that because I am it does not mean that you are. Come, let's head back."

~EA~

"Isabella!" Emily called as soon as she saw them walk into the castle together. "Can we go out to play?"

Edward chuckled and scooped her up, planting a big kiss on her cheek. "Little one, it is entirely too cold for you to be out on a day like this."

"Will you read to me, then, Isabella?" Emily asked, her eyes wide with hope.

Isabella looked at Edward and saw him nod at her encouragingly. "Of course, Emily. The novel you gave me as a gift is one of my favorites. Would you like to come back with us? We can sit in the library."

Setting his niece down gently, Edward looked to Isabella, "Take her with you. I shall inform her parents that she is with us and then come join you."

Emily skipped ahead happily and Isabella sat down with her on the plush couch in the corner of the room. Opening the book with much care, Isabella settled in and began to read to the little girl. The story seemed to catch and keep the little girl's attention as she hung onto every one of Isabella's words. By the second chapter, Edward had joined them and sat at the desk. She could tell he didn't want to disturb them but she also knew that he wasn't doing work like he was trying to let on. He was listening intently to her as well.

When she was growing tired, she set the book down and noticed that Emily had a new heaviness about her. Pushing the little girls hair from her face, she saw that she was sleeping soundly. Edward was watching his niece with a smile. "It seems your story has tired her out."

He came over and gently took the sleeping girl in his arms, hushing her quietly when she stirred until she was resting comfortably against his shoulder. It was very endearing to see Edward, who was usually so cold-natured, taking such care with a vulnerable child. Laying her head back, she began to doze and only an hour later did she awake to Edward writing at the desk.

"I'm sorry," was all she said, though she didn't really know _why_ she said it.

He didn't say anything, just continued to keep writing in the large ledger book. Standing up, she walked over to the desk and picked up her composition book so that she could finish her letter to Alice. Realizing that it had been moved, she wondered briefly if he had read it. She blushed and hurriedly went to sit back down. Soihban knocked quietly on the door before calling through that dinner was ready.

~EA~

Isabella had just finished eating her turkey when a man she had never seen before walked quickly into the room and over to Jasper. They talked quietly before Jasper shook his head and stood up. "Edward, join me outside."

She looked over to Edward, watching him stand up and lean over to whisper, "I'll be back soon. Finish your meal."

Esme mouth was set in almost a straight line and Rosalie was looking at her with a frown. Carlisle followed his son and Jasper out of the room. "Emmett, go see what's going on," his wife whispered, nudging him in the ribs and pulling Emily from his lap.

"Can I go with papa?" she asked.

"No. Eat your vegetables."

Isabella ate quickly and by the time Emmett came back in, striding towards the hallway that lead back to his room, she was finished. "Emmett?" Rosalie called out, standing up as quickly as she could.

He came back in then, sheathing a dagger and heading back towards the door. "I don't know," was the only answer he gave. "They're lowering the bridge."

Isabella stood, then. Fear coursing through her body. Leaving her empty plate behind, she followed Emmett out, only to have Esme trail behind her, calling her name. She had lost her mother and she was in this mess because her father had been attacked. The idea of intruders made her severely anxious and she found herself short on breath. "Isabella, please! Just wait..."

While she wasn't stopping, she also wasn't stupid. Instead of heading out front like the men, she ran up the narrow steps that lead to the widows walk where the guards stood, overlooking the property. She nearly bumped into one of them as she hurriedly looked over and down into the courtyard. She shivered, briefly wondering if she would ever feel truly warm again. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw the brown horse carrying a black robed figure over the bridge. The violence that came through her village had been rare but it was still very much real. She had hoped for reprieve from that here and cursed her new family for letting someone like this in...for not realizing that they could be in danger. O course, she reminded herself, they probably knew and there were many guards...but it still frightened her.

"Lady Isabella, I implore you..." The guard begged for her to go back inside but she wasn't listening. Instead, she stood there stunned. As the horse carried it's passenger towards her husband, the true identity of the robed figure became clear. It was not a pillaging, violent man. It was a woman.

From her perch, far up and away from them, Esme came to stand beside her. She as well had been there when the girl had lifted her hood gracefully revealing straight wheat yellow hair, and even from afar, Isabella could see that her eyes shown a deep, majestic sky blue. To say the tiny figure was beautiful was an understatement. "Who is she?" Isabella asked Esme but didn't wait for a response. Hurrying back down the small stairs, she rubbed her arms for warmth and hurried out to where everyone seemed to be standing.

A strange feeling tore through her as the girl stepped right up to Edward and spoke. Unable to hear what was being said, Isabella couldn't stop herself from stepping right up to both of them. To her surprise, Edward put an arm up as if to put a barrier between the two girls. He opened his mouth to speak but Isabella saw the girl look upon her for what felt like hours. An awkward silence fell over the group, which consisted of the three men of the family, Esme, and a few guards—including Jasper.

The girl spoke then, "Isabella Cullen," she spat, looking Isabella up and down.

"Tanya, I beg of you..." Edward began.

"So this is the peasant whore who is replacing my sister. I must say, Edward, you've definitely done poorly for yourself."

"What do you want? What do you wish to gain from coming here, Tanya? Speak now."

"My sister, a _princess_, is buried on this land. As well as who would have been our possible future _prince_. I've come to be with them in the only way possible. Praying for them through the cold, almost frozen ground."

"Father, take Isabella inside..."

"You're cursed. You always will be," she said, interrupting him and shaking her head. "Don't you see that?"

Isabella stood there, stock still, begging herself not to cry. Tanya turned to her then, as Carlisle took Isabella's arm to lead her away. "He was married to a princess, Isabella. How could you possibly compare? He's unable to love again." Then, with a harsh laugh, even as she was almost inside, she heard Tanya call out to her, "Why do you think you were given to him? They had to do _something_ with you!"

~EA~

Feeling as if she was to die inside, she grasped Carlisle's forearm, desperately trying to not cry. He squeezed her arm in response and picked up his pace. Esme made a step to follow them but then turned back to her son when Tanya began speaking again. Isabella couldn't hear what she had to say and she was grateful for it. "Isabella," Carlisle began, but they both knew there was nothing he could say to make it better. Letting go of her, he stepped back and shook his head. "I apologize for Miss Denali's behavior."

"It does not matter, Master Cullen. Everything she said is true, is it not? He never wanted to marry me. He will never love me and I will never compare to his princess. I thank you for all that you and your family have done for me but I beg you to just allow me time to myself. I _beg_ you."

Walking away from him, tears coming freely now, she walked as quickly as she could until she came to their sleeping quarters. It didn't feel right. In fact, it felt very, very wrong to be there. Stepping back out, she went to the room beside the washroom and threw it open. She froze, her eyes wide, as she realized that they had not been sleeping in the same room as the room Edward had shared with Katherine. In this room, there was a very long, white dress spread across the bed. Gowns, both expensive and plain, were hung to the side. It was light colored, nothing like what she had been sleeping in for the past couple of nights.

Quickly turning from the room, as if she had just intruded on something private, she went into the room furthest from the front. Finally feeling like she could relax a little, she couldn't decide which new room broke her more. In the center of this one, lit with bright material, was a wooden crib. A rocking chair sat to the left of it and there were tiny outfits on the matching wooden shelves to the right. The tiny prince's room. Her heart pulled in a way that she had never felt before from looking at something so basic—the cradle in the corner. Of course the baby would be kept towards the back, he needed to be protected and that meant any intruder would have to get through Edward first.

Finally, she found the courage to walk out and into the last door. If the last two were the sleeping quarters, this one had to be the weapons room. The door opened easily and this time, she wasn't as shocked. Sliding down the now closed door, she rested on the cold, hard floor. With her head in her hands, she stifled her cries as best she could. Isabella sobbed for her loss of family, for wanting her mother, for the love she left back home, even for the loss of Edward's family.

When she was finally done turning those thoughts over and over in her head, she cried for another reason. Never would her husband feel the same way about her and her offspring the way he felt for the ones he lost...if he even allowed them to create a child together. Tanya's words were more or less the truth. At only seventeen, Isabella realized she was being forced to come to terms with the fact that she would be in a loveless marriage without the love of a child to keep her warm until she died.

~EA~

She woke to footsteps outside of the door and then heard doors opening and closing. Whoever was out there was getting closer to her and she crawled away from the door, leaning against the leg of one of the tables that held an arsenal of swords. "Isabella?" Edward's voice called out. She ignored it, praying that he'd go away. Praying that he'd let her stay in there until she withered away to nothingness, even though her growling tummy was actually becoming painful. The door to their quarters slammed a few seconds later and the footsteps were gone.

Feeling faint, she wondered how long she'd been on the floor of the room. There were dried tears around her eyes and her head was pounding at the temples. She had cried so hard and she began to wonder if she had slept for longer than just an hour or two. There was a possibility that she had been in there overnight. Surely, she thought, he would have come for her by now. Tanya's words ripped her apart again. She really didn't matter to her husband.

Allowing her head to rest against the hard wooden table leg, she let the exhaustion and hunger give way to sleep once again. This time when she woke, it was to the slamming of the door and the sound of two voices. "It's been almost two days. I'm not waiting. We'll search the grounds and..." Edward said before being interrupted by Jasper.

"I'm sure she is just hurting, Edward. Think about her for a moment. She's probably afraid."

"I am thinking of her! Do you want me to just let her go like that? She couldn't survive out there on her own..."

She felt sick, like she was going to throw up. Fighting her hunger and exhaustion now, she barely heard him tell Jasper that he couldn't bear to lose her as well. Assuming she was hallucinating, she just tried to go back to sleep. There was no reason for her to be awake. There was nothing for her to live for in this cold place.

She turned her head and squinted as the door opened, showering the room with light. Both men stopped suddenly when they saw her. She was sure she looked horrid with her bloodshot eyes, tear stained face, and tangled hair. The gown she wore the day before was wrinkled and dirty. "Jasper, leave us," Edward commanded.

Crouching down, he took her easily in his arms and carried her to their bedroom. Lying her on the bed, he walked out of the room. She just went back to sleep and she didn't know how much later it was when he came back in. Picking her up a second time, still having not said anything to her, he brought her into the washroom and set her down on a small stool. Removing her gowns, he lowered her into the large tub which had just recently been filled with hot water. With a soft cloth, he began to wash her, having taken off his shirt so as not to get it wet.

There was nothing but numbness for her as he washed every part of her body. There was no shame, no anger, no bitterness at all. It wasn't worth the feelings. It wasn't worth trying to feel again. She wouldn't look at him, though, refusing to make eye contact. He was too beautiful for that. When he was through washing her hair, he sat back on his heels.

"Look at me, Bella." It was done with authority and she didn't dare to not respect it. Then, through clenched teeth, he began. "If I could put you on the back of a horse and send you back to your father this instant I would. I know well that you deserve none of this. I know that this is not what you ask for. I haven't asked for it anymore than you have. This is the hand we've been given and this is our duty to the Creator to fight through it. We've both taken the sacred vows, therefore, we have no other choice."

She didn't say anything, she just stared at him. "Dammit, Isabella, speak! Speak out about your feelings! Speak of how much you loathe me. Speak!"

With the numbness having gone nowhere, she closed her eyes, only to open them so tears could escape. Daftly, she shrugged, "I do not loathe you, Edward. It is the very circumstance that is painful. The woman, Tanya..."

"Is overcome with grief for the loss of her sister."

"As you are overcome with grief of your lost princess."

"You will not speak of her!"

"That's right. The dead are the dead and the living are the living. We shall not confuse them," she spat, the feeling of anger seeping into her veins.

Grabbing a clean towel, he all but threw it at her. "Dry off. I expect you in our bedroom in a few minutes. Don't bother redressing in those clothes."

The anger boiled over and, as he opened the door, she called out, "Whose bedroom? The one we share or the one in which you shared with your precious princess?"

The slamming doors were the only response that came.

**I just want to take a minute to thank my reviewers and subscribers. It means a lot to me. I'm going to continue the story, though I'm not sure how many chapters will come. This is a little project/challenge of mine and I hope that you will give me feedback through reviews or more email alerts :) I will say that while it may seem that Edward and Isabella both seem to be going in circles sometimes, they are both very confused and have been thrown into a situation they are trying to cope with. Please be patient with them. Also, I'm thinking there will be another chapter put up by Wednesday or Thursday. So, review and tell me what you think, I will send you a preview in return. Hopefully, I got everyone the last time. LP xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 4**

**Submission and Acceptance**

Standing in their bedroom, Isabella was surprised to find herself alone. She didn't know what she expected. Perhaps she thought he would be there, ready to dish out the consequences for saying what she had. A part of her felt horrible for it but another part was proud. Women had few rights and the freedom to speak their minds was seldom appreciated by their male counterparts. She was indeed alone though, and saw that he set one of her gowns out across the bed. Throwing the soiled ones into a basket, she dressed in the clean clothing and then wondered what to do next.

She didn't have to wait long, Edward strode in with a heaping tray of food for her. There were eggs, bread, ham, turkey, milk and tea. "This is too much..."

"Eat what you like. I was not sure...I think you like some of this..."

Not touching the tray he had set in front of her, she looked up at him. "I apologize for what I said before. It was wrong."

Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head, "You have every right to hate me, Isabella."

"Hey," she said, nudging his arm, "I thought we agreed on Bella?"

He sighed, "I've been...thinking...a lot. In the time you were gone, I tried to explain to my mother and father that this wasn't right..."

"Edward, I'm sorry for being such a burden to you..." she said, looking away, the feeling of loneliness coming back to her again.

"You aren't," he stated, clearly frustrated. His face twisted as if in pain. "Enough of this. Just eat."

"Please, I like when you talk to me..." she begged, sensing that he was slipping away from her again. If this was going to work in the slightest, they needed to communicate.

"I said eat."

With a heavy heart, she picked up a spoon, stirred her tea and sipped it quietly. He sat with her in silence as she ate about half of what he brought. "Please, I couldn't possibly eat more."

He picked up the tray and stood. "Don't ever run from me again," he ordered before walking out the room. Looking to the heavens, Isabella took a deep breath. Nothing made sense. One minute she did not deserve to be treated so harshly and the next that was exactly how he was treating her. She did not know what to do, what to say. He asked her to speak but then quickly became angry when she said something that he did not find appropriate. Needing to get these feelings out, the feelings that were weighing her down, she went in search of her composition book and began to write.

By suppertime, Esme and Rosalie had both been in to see that she was faring well. Esme apologized for Tanya's behavior just as Carlisle had, and Rosalie explained that Tanya had always been very blunt. It no longer mattered to Isabella, though. Throughout her musings to Alice, she decided that it was time to make a change. Verily, there was no way out of the situation at hand. He was right. They both had taken vows and even if she would leave, run away, or even be let go; it would still be wrong. No one else may know that they were married but the Lord would know and that was worse than the demeaning looks from all of Forks and Seattle put together.

No, running away was not an option, nor was begging to go home to her family. She would do as he asked of her and submit. Only this time, it would be trite and true. She had already accepted that her husband would not love her as he had loved Princess Kathrine but she had also accepted the fact that he was indeed her husband. That left her with no other choice than to be there when he needed her and to leave him when he did not. She would start tonight, as they got ready to retire for the night, doing for him what a wife should for her husband. She was going to learn to accept this fate just as she had learned to accept other shortcomings in her life.

~EA~

Isabella followed Emily to dinner that evening and realized as soon as she walked in that everyone was staring at her. Edward actually stood and pulled her chair out for her before helping her to load her plate. When he went about everything normally, everyone seemed to pick up on the implication that neither she nor Edward wanted to talk about the time since Tanya's arrival. Esme and Rosalie had already expressed how worried they were about her and she had even been told that Edward had stayed up in the hall the whole last night...never bothering with returning to bed. He was scared, Esme had told her. Scared that she was not going to return. He had not realized she was only a few rooms away in the same building.

She did have a hard time believing he was truly upset about it. Esme explained that they did not go looking for her right away, though Edward wanted to, because Carlisle had told him that she wanted space. When she was being told all of this, she just became more confused. The question of whether or not he would ever love her at all was the question that haunted her.

"Mother, would you mind taking Isabella into town tomorrow? She needs a few more gowns and I'd like you to take her to the quality dress maker. I do not care to even hear the price, as long as it is comfortable for her I do not care if it is the finest of silks.

"Of course, dear. Isabella, we're going to have such a wonderful day! I need to go to the general store anyway to purchase some tea. I finally get to introduce you..."

"Mother, I beg that you not overwhelm her."

"You can not keep her locked up here, Edward," scolded Esme. "Allow her to be around others."

When they were finished eating, Edward and Isabella retired to their bedroom. He had dark circles under his eyes and her head was still hurting. He sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands, and rubbing his face. Instead of staying silent and going about her own business, Isabella walked over and knelt before him. "Edward, please accept my apology for last night. If you were concerned..."

"If? You really do not think much of me," he snorted.

"Then I am very sorry for my behavior." Reaching forward, she slowly began to pull his shirt up. "Bella..."

She didn't stop after he took it the rest of the way over his head and threw it in the basket with her soiled gown. With shaking hands, she unbuckled his pants, feeling him tense. Without her saying anything, he stood and allowed her to pull his remaining clothes off after he undid his boots. Once again, he stood in front of her exposed, and though she was hurting, she couldn't deny the desire that she felt in her belly. She was still kneeling on the floor and he just stood there as if waiting to see what she was trying to do.

Undoing her gown, she let it slide down her shoulders and pool at her knees. She knelt in her corset, her ivory breasts slightly exposed. He was looking down at her, the desire she felt was reflected in his eyes. His erection was impressive and she tried to build up the energy to touch him. When her hand came up and she almost reached him, his hand caught her wrist. "You don't have to do this if you are not comfortable."

"You are my husband, Edward." What he had said to her the first night, that he expected her to act as a wife would, came back to her and she wondered if he decided against that.

He nodded, then, and she took that as him giving consent. Her hand wrapped around his shaft and she felt him tense up again, his knees locking in place. "Bella..." he breathed.

Having never even seen a man before him, she looked up at him with a questioning look. Having no idea what to do, she stroked him and watched his abs tense up. Looking up at him, the firelight giving his skin a warm quality, she realized once again just how beautiful the man was. He was watching her, his eyes wide, as if he was in total shock over what she was doing for him. The desire was still there but he also looked...tormented. She was looking at him, really looking at him for the first time. His emotions fully on display, she could tell that he was enjoying what she was doing but that torment was eating him alive.

Isabella let her tongue lick across her bottom lip, her mouth felt try and she bit her lip then. Edward began to move against her hand, guiding her at a different pace without making her do any of the work. She had just made eye contact with him again when he abruptly pulled away from her, turning away, he held himself. For the first time in her life, she watched what happens when a man climaxes and she did not know how to react. Edward pulled her up with his dry hand, kissed her forehead, and left the room.

Cold, she climbed under the covers, slid off her corset, and curled into a ball. She could hear Edward in the washroom and just wanted to drift off to sleep, having had a very emotional couple of days. Her body was not as willing, though, to let her mind escape. She could hear her heart beat and her entire body felt like it was restless. There was a wetness between her legs that she wasn't familiar with. Soon after she decided to turn on her back, Edward came in. While it was not very apparent, she could have sworn that she saw tears in his eyes. He walked over to the bed and gave her a sad smile as he took her body in under the lifted covers. With a hushed tone, he laid beside her and said, "I'm going to touch you, Bella. I promise not to hurt you but if you feel uncomfortable, you need to tell me."

He placed his hand right above her naval, she could tell that he wasn't looking at her, that he refused to look her in the eyes. The closer to her center that he got, the less she cared. By the time he got to her most private of parts, she was already almost writhing against the blankets. While she bit her lip yet again, she felt his fingers parting her other lips gently before running his finger inside of them. He was exploring and she was having trouble controlling her movements. Nothing had ever felt like this before.

Edward shifted then so that he could keep one hand between her legs, but because he was leaning over her, he was able to prop himself up with an elbow and use that same hand to capture one of her nipples. Her back arched then, feeling as though she now had no control at all. "Edward...Edward..." she was saying his name as if it were a chant. Then, she arched even higher, the covers that were over her lower half fell away as his fingers found her nub. She called his name one last time and his fingers began to move faster. A loan moan ripped through her as that was all it took. The feelings were becoming too much to handle and a few seconds later, just as she was about to ask him to stop, he pulled away.

She was shaking, and for the first time since coming here, it wasn't because she was cold. He brought the blankets back up and pulled her close to him. She could feel his erection again but he wasn't hinting that she needed to do anything else. While his arm was around her, she grasped his forearm to hold him there. Completely spent, she quickly drifted off to sleep, very sure that she heard him whisper, _My beautiful, Bella._

~EA~

The next morning, Isabella slowly opened her eyes. Immediately blushing as she thought about the night before. "Isabella? Lady Esme is waiting for you in the dining hall. Master Edward has already left..." Startled, she turned towards the door to see Siohban looking at her with an apologetic expression. "Sir Whitlock will escort you into town but if you'd like to eat, come now."

"Er...thank you. I will be right there."

Esme was waiting for her patiently, combing Emily's hair and singing to her softly. "There is our Isabella. I apologize for waking you. Edward wanted to be sure that Jasper accompanied us and he wants us to be home before twilight. It has been getting dark so early...and it is not safe at night. Seattle is even larger than Forks, Isabella. With more people comes more crime."

"Is Emily to accompany us as well?" Isabella asked, concerned.

"No. She will remain here with her mother."

Isabella looked around for the others but no one was there. "Dear, I'll take you to him. He didn't want you to awoken."

Her head snapped up and she realized Esme thought she wanted Edward. "Oh...I..."

"Come, he is out talking with his father. He is having a...difficult...morning. Perhaps you are just what he needs to overcome this...I very much hope...oh, never mind, come. Emily, go find your mother, love."

Isabella opened her mouth to protest but she wasn't hungry either. If she argued about going to see him, she'd be forced to eat instead. Thankful that Esme was not thinking about food, she allowed her hand to be taken as Esme lead her outside. As they stepped out, Isabella contemplated what she had meant by the fact that he was having a difficult morning. She felt sick at the thought of him being upset about the night before and wondered if he hated it that badly.

Her husband was not speaking with his father, though. Carlisle was talking to Jasper in the front of the castle and Esme questioned them concerning Edward's whereabouts. Isabella did not need to ask. She knew where he was. Walking away from them, she followed the path until it brought her to the small cemetery. He was sitting in the wet grass in between Katherine's and the small tombstone. His shoulders were slouched over and she saw just how vulnerable he was. It was almost as if it were too intimate to watch and as she turned away, she heard him. "Isabella?" Turning back, she saw him stand and walk over to her. He looked like he was caught doing something he should not have been.

"I am sorry to interrupt. We were just leaving..." The guilt on his face made her bite her lip and say instead, "Please do not act like I would contest you visiting with them. For what may have been true about Tanya's harsh words, I am not here to replace her."

For once, he didn't get angry about her mentioning Katherine and he just nodded. Guiding her by the small of her back, he lead her towards the group waiting for them. Esme looked like she was in pain as she was smiling so widely and Carlisle looked pleased when he saw them walking together. Handing her a bag of coins from his pockets, Edward said, "Tuck these into your overcoat. Try to not draw attention to them. If someone approaches you, do not fight them. Let them take..."

"Edward," Jasper said gently, "they are in good hands. I swear it on my life."

Edward nodded again and helped Isabella step up into the awaiting carriage. A man she had never seen before road in front, controlling the horses. Jasper and Riley were on to large mares and would follow the carriage. Carlisle kissed Esme softly before whispering something to her and helping her into the carriage to join Isabella.

Edward started again, "Jasper, if there is a problem..."

"If there is a problem, I will send Riley for you. There will be no such problem, though. I promise you. We will return before night fall."

"Be sure that they stop to eat."

"I will. Now, we must be going if we are to make it back. Discuss with Emmett your own trip while I am gone and we will plan when I return tonight."

Edward nodded and stepped back, allowing for them to leave. Isabella watched as the bridge was lowered and they made their exit. Edward was watching the carriage intently, as if he could see into it as well as she could see out of the small window to look at him.

"I am glad to have this time alone with you. Away from the castle and the others," Esme smiled at her.

"Yes, it is sometimes nice to get away," Isabella agreed, knowing there was more to it than that.

"Isabella, we—Carlisle and I, promised to not interfere. I will say this, however. You have given our son a second chance..."

"Esme..."

"I know that things are hard right now. He has just lost Katherine and you, poor thing, losing your mother..."

"It's really..."

"I know that you may not understand or notice it now but when your father explained to us that there were no suitors for you back home, we knew it was fate. We knew, Isabella."

Isabella didn't try to argue this time, she just kept her mouth closed and listened as the woman confirmed her suspicion. This was arranged and Edward probably had no idea of it until her father had left to come home, already planning to return with her. No wonder the idea of children with her disgusted him, she truly was a burden.

~EA~

Seattle was considered more of a city than Forks. While Forks had a small market area in the center of their village, Seattle had many shops and larger homes. There seemed to be a shop for everything one could want. There was a tanner's shop which Esme stopped in for shoes, a small store dedicated to only fine soaps, and even a nursery which sold seasonal plants and seeds. They stopped at the warm, cozy bakery for a mid-day meal which consisted of soup and fresh-baked bread. It was truly a lovely time.

When they walked past the post office, Isabella wished she had thought to bring her letters to Alice but then wondered if perhaps that was not the best idea. Edward had asked her to keep what happened in the privacy of their bedroom to herself. She had told Alice everything...except for what happened the night before. Either way, she felt as though she was lying to him if she did send them. With a frown, she kept walking and decided to keep them to herself—at least for now. She could always send them later.

A dressmaker's shop sat on the very corner of the busy road and that was their last stop. Bolts of expensive fabrics lined the walls and they sold everything from mittens and caps to petticoats and cloaks. Many of them were embellished with little details such as beautiful buttons and lace. "Ah, Lady Cullen," a skinny woman with a pinched face crooned. She was carrying a little cushion with pins sticking out of it and wore far too much rouge.

"Hello, Aundrea. Allow me to introduce to you Isabella Marie. Isabella, this is Aundrea Webber, one of the best dress makers you will ever have the honor of knowing."

"Yes," the woman said arrogantly, "this shop holds any exotic fabric you could possibly imagine. We trade for them daily and each dress is tailored to fit one specific person. All the outfits you see here are merely to show you my talents. My daughter, Angela, is also rather talented...in fact...she is of your age. Perhaps you will meet her someday."

"She is not here?" Esme asked pleasantly.

"No. She has gone with her grandmother. The ball is approaching, after all. They are trying to make sure we are carrying enough fabric to adequately dress the town. Is this the girl who was to marry your son?"

"Yes. They were joined last week and that is why I am here. She did not have much when she came to us and we need to get her some warm clothing for the winter. We shan't have her getting sick."

"Of course not. Your poor son...what he has gone through. Verily, we must keep this beauty warm and comfortable for him. Come, let me show you."

They followed her to the back of the store and the woman pulled different types of thick material before showing her the different cloaks and gowns she offered. Isabella could not even begin to imagine the expense of these articles but Esme just reassured her all was affordable. "And this," the woman produced, "is the perfect color for her. It is fit for a princess..."

Isabella swallowed hard at the term the woman used but couldn't help but to be enchanted with the beautiful cloak. It was a beautiful yellow, thick and luxurious, and probably very expensive. "We are looking for something fitting for her to wear to the ball as well. This yellow would be perfect."

"Why don't we do a dress like this for her?" The woman pulled another item off the rack, a beautiful, long gown. It is perfect for the cold weather and the sleeves will keep her warm. What do you think, Isabella? Will your Edward approve?"

She smiled but honestly didn't know if he would like it or not. She hated how much she did not know about him. "Of course," she agreed.

When the woman walked away, Isabella turned to her, whispering, "I was never told about the ball..."

"Oh?" Esme looked at her, surprised and obviously not knowing what to say.

~EA~

That evening, they returned just as the sun was setting. They had a few small packages and but none of her clothes were ready yet. They would be sent for when Aundrea Webber was finished making them. The men and Rosalie were discussing something when they came in and she saw Edward look her over from top to bottom, as if checking to make sure she was okay. According to Esme, the ball was something all of Seattle looked forward to each year before the weather could become truly awful. The only explanation Esme could give for her lack of an invitation was that Edward might not wish to go. Isabella was more than fine with that, but Esme was definitely not, insisting that they still purchase the dress. She wondered what it would be like to attend something so extravagant, to dress in fancy clothes, and mingle with the rich.

Sitting down, she saw everyone clearing the table of hand-drawn maps. "I do not feel comfortable leaving much later than this week," Emmett spoke, glancing over at Rosalie. "The child is expected soon and I do not wish to be away when he or she decides to join us."

"We can leave as early as tomorrow," Jasper nodded, "if there are no problems, we could be back as early as this Friday."

Edward nodded this time, "Tomorrow we set out. We will leave first thing in the morning."

Isabella listened to them while Rosalie and Esme chatted about the trip she and Isabella had just made. She thought about all of the time he would be gone, nearly four days, and she realized that she would be able to do as she pleased while he was gone—including sleeping in warm clothes. As the night continued on, more disturbing realizations hit her. The first one was that while she would be able to do as her heart desired, there really was not much for her to do. Since coming to Seattle, she had been with Edward or Emily the entire time. He kept her company if nothing else. The second disturbing realization was that she would miss him. The thought surprised her when she realized it but it was true.

As had become routine, Edward entered the washroom as Isabella entered their bedroom. She felt exhausted after the day's adventure but was not ready for sleep. Wanting desperately to tell someone, anyone about the beautiful things she had seen that day, she smiled when he walked through the door. His hair was disheveled and he wore only pants. He carried his shirt and gave her a small, almost nervous smile as he approached her.

"You are happy," he stated.

"I miss Alice and my father, but yes, I am as happy as I can be...in this...situation."

"We are leaving tomorrow for a trading trip. I will be traveling for a few days and will be meeting different people. Is there anything I can get for you that will make you happier?"

"No, sir. Oh! I forgot to tell you, there are still coins left from what you had given me earlier today. They are in my overcoat still..."

"I want you to keep them. In fact, I will be leaving extra for you for tomorrow. My father has been told to look after you and he knows the stops we plan to make. Jasper, Emmett, and I are the only ones leaving so that Riley will be here to assist if there are any intruders."

She just smiled. It always came back to her safety or her health. "Thank you for the coins, Edward."

"Did you find adequate clothing?"

"Verily. We will return to pick up new mittens, a cap, a cloak and a few plainer gowns...and a...a ball gown."

He frowned but said nothing before sitting on the bed to remove his boots. Finally, after a long moment, he cleared his throat. "My mother has told you then."

"She has told me that there is a ball. I told her not to bother with the dress, that you would have told me if we were to attend..."

He sighed, "I do not plan to attend, Isabella."

"Why?" Isabella asked, wishing he would call her Bella.

"There is no reason for you to become upset. If you want to go to the ball, then we will go," he said, obviously clenching his teeth.

"Edward," she said calmly this time, "tell me why you are against it. Then, maybe I can understand..."

"I have never attended a public event with anyone other than Kate," he said softly. She was shocked that he would mention her name and she was even more shocked that he used the shortened version of it with her.

"I am sorry," she said quickly. "I was not thinking..."

"No, you should get to go," he stood, frustrated.

"I am content with staying here at the castle..."

"I just do not know that I am capable of dealing with their stares. Those who do not pity me will condemn me. I can not bear to hear them condemn you as well. They may say as they please about me..."

"That is unfair. You have done nothing wrong."

"That is enough for tonight, Isabella. I will let you decide while I am away if you so choose to attend the ball. I will go for your sake if you are inclined to do so. Tonight, we need to rest."

"May I...may I ask one more question?" she asked softly, playing with the bedspread.

"Of course, beauty."

She smiled at that, the formality between them seemingly gone. "Did you not...enjoy...last night? If I did something wrong you must tell me..."

"You were perfect. Now go to sleep," he said, waiting for her to face the opposite wall so that he could wrap his arm around her and allow her to curl into him. "You were perfect."

**We will be getting more glimpses of the way Edward is thinking in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one and the next chapter should be up sometime this weekend. It is really long, longer than almost every other chapter I've ever written. Please keep it mind that Isabella is still very confused about their relationship and Edward seems to be struggling just as much. In my experience in real life, people don't just all in love. Many times, they do go in almost-circles trying to decide if a relationship with a person is truly what they want. For the most part, this story will not be cut and dry. Leave me a review and I'll send you a little preview of this weekend's chapter. Also, you can follow me on twitter letzigprincess. Thank your for your continued support! LP xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 5**

**Speaking Candidly**

"Very good, Isabella," Esme smiled, looking down at the small outfit Isabella was sewing for the new baby. Before Edward had left, he suggested she help his mother and Rosalie prepare for the baby to keep her occupied. While they weren't each others biggest fanatics, it was as if he realized that he was the one she stayed beside when he was home. With Rosalie resting most of the day and Esme busy with the servants, she really had no one besides him and little Emily to keep her company. Edward had admitted to her that Rosalie was a good friend of the younger Denali girls, Tanya and Irina. Rosalie had been appalled by what Tanya had said a few days prior.

Since that day she had disappeared, it was very evident that he worried for her. He watched her like a mother bear would watch her cub. Instead of making her feel more comfortable, he was making her much more anxious. Everything she did was arranged by him and she honestly could not bring herself to be upset with him for it. He was doing what he thought he must. While she didn't love him, she was beginning to care for him a little more and even learning to trust him. Of course, it had only been three days since he had found her, but the night before was spent without him for the first time. Depression had set in even more in his absence than when he was present—something Isabella could not believe was even possible had she not been feeling it herself.

"Esme, will you tell me about the late princess?" Isabella asked quickly, worried if she did not say it fast she would lose the nerve to say it at all.

Esme's head snapped up, she opened her mouth and closed it again before sighing. "Of course. What would like to know?"

"What was she like? Was she beautiful? Was she kind?"

Esme smiled ruefully. "She was beautiful and very...open. She was very trusting of the world and the people in it. If ever there was someone who needed to be stood up for, she did so, not caring that she was of royal blood. Our lovely Kate was a fighter, Isabella. She was so full of life. That is why no one expected such a horrible fate for her. Especially our Edward."

"How long has it been?" she asked, figuring it was at least over a year.

"Two months."

She nearly jabbed herself with her sewing needle. "Two months?" she whispered, as if in disbelief.

"Yes, my dear. The Lord took her just a few weeks before your father was found..."

"I thought Edward discovered him..."

"Indeed. They found him on their travels. They trade at different posts for the town. When the princess perished, he inherited everything but he still continued this as he had before they even met. We had no idea he would have gotten this inheritance and even then...it is not like Edward to receive hand-outs."

"What about the Denali's?"

"The King and Queen have long been dead. They died before the marriage. Irina Denali is now married to a man in a different part of the country. Tanya, the one who you so harshly met, was the one who really took her sister's death to heart. I do not know who was more devastated, she or Edward."

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Esme. Truly I am," Isabella said quietly, shaking her head in disbelief over how short of a time it had been since Katherine had died. No wonder he had kept everything.

"It is sad, Isabella, but Edward is young."

"Esme," Isabella contemplated her next question, not knowing if she wanted the answer. She also didn't know if she could remain emotionless if given the answer she suspected. "when did Edward find out about me? He said my father was agreeable, did he have the opportunity to speak with him about me?"

Esme's mouth set into a firm line and Isabella closed her eyes to hide the anger behind them. "My dear, he spoke to your father when he was first brought to Carlisle. Before coming to live here, Carlisle was the doctor in our village. He was nursed back to health by my husband but Edward had left before your father mentioned the wonderful daughter he had back home. He loves you very, very much, Isabella. He told us that he worried for you, unprotected back home. He had to get back as soon as he was able. The way he described you, so young and full of life, reminded us all of our dear Kate.

"Isabella, you have to understand, we came to live here only after Katherine passed. Edward had three days with his wonderful son before the baby just could not breath any longer. The child had just simply come to us too soon and the Lord took him even more quickly from us. Edward brought him to us, wrapped in one of Katherine's robes. I knew as soon as I saw the devastation on his face... It took us many days more to get news back to Irina and Tanya that their nephew had left us as well. The only reason our Edward made it through those days after Katherine passed away was that child. I believe the good Lord knew he would not have been able to handle the loss of both of them at once.

"I thought for awhile that we were going to lose our own son as well. Carlisle handled everything with the state and I think that Edward still resents that we fought to keep this property and Katherine's wealth. He had been through so much, Isabella, we just wanted to make sure he was taken care of. You understand that do you not?" Esme looked almost guilty but Isabella felt they should be even more guilty about bringing her into this desperate equation. She kept her mouth shut, just nodding that as far as Carlisle handling things went, they did the right thing. It was the matter of their son's marriage that was wrong.

"Poor Edward would not even stay around long enough to know that your father was back to health. In fact, I worried that he wouldn't return before you arrived. I worried often within those weeks after her death that he would leave on a trip and not return with everyone else."

Isabella swallowed hard, wondering if this was still something to worry over. Esme shook her head, though, as if reading her mind. "No worries, dear. I think that he is quite taken with you."

Isabella just went back to sewing, not responding to Esme's comment. That night, she went to bed feeling irritable. Neither she nor Edward were particularly happy with the situation they had been thrown into yet he was hurting for other reasons as well. With his family acting as though Katherine's passing was just a matter of fact and in the past, he probably felt just as alone as she did. The desperate need to have him there with her, to comfort him, even to just hug him began to grow. It had been two days since he left and only one day more until he would arrive home.

A cold chill traveled down her spine and she pulled the blankets closer before sighing and getting out of them. Heading over to his wardrobe, she pulled out each one of his shirts and pants to get a good look at them and then snuck into the servant's closet to get her sewing kit. Whether his shirt was missing a button or his pants had a hole in them, they would be fixed for him when he came home. As she worked, she fought her tired mind for the image of his face. It never did come to her. It was like she couldn't remember what he looked like, as if beauty such as his was too much for her mind to bear. When his face would come to her, or at least the image that would come to mind when she tried to think of him, she only saw the tormented face he carried so heavily.

"Isabella?"

Jolting awake, Isabella realized she was still holding a needle in one hand and a bobbin of thread in the other. Esme looked down upon her with a confused expression and she looked up at her with a mirrored look. She finally realized she'd never made it back to her bed the night before. She must have fallen asleep in the large dining hall.

"I am sorry, Esme..."

Esme just smiled, "Perhaps tonight you should stay with Rosalie. The baby will be coming soon and it is getting more and more difficult for her to move around much. She would love the company."

Isabella knew Esme felt sorry for her and she realized that she was missing Edward. She was missing Edward a lot. Shaking the thought from her head, reminding herself that he might not even return, she nodded. "Of course."

"It might be good for you to be around Rosalie when she is with child." Isabella flushed, trying not to dwell on what exactly Esme meant by that. Folding up the shirt she had been adding a new button to, Isabella stood and picked up the other articles of clothing.

~EA~

"Ugh," Rosalie groaned, sitting back on her large bed. Isabella could not refrain from watching her very pregnant stomach. She could literally see the baby moving around, even against the fabric of Rosalie's clothing. "I verily hope my Emmett returns in time for this little one's arrival but I would be lying if I said I do not want to be done with this pregnancy. I want to hold this little one."

"They should be back tomorrow," Isabella responded as cheerfully as possible.

"I hope so. I try not to complain too much about their travels. I want to apologize again for what happened with Tanya. It was wrong of her to say those things about you..."

"Rosalie, it is fine. After all, were her words so wrong? He has just lost his wife...was I not brought here to replace her?" Isabella asked, feeling like she could be honest with the girl beside her.

"With no offense to you, Isabella, I do not know that he would ever allow that to happen. Esme and Carlisle are both very kind and generous...and I do not think they realize that they are coming across as slightly heartless throughout this whole ordeal. They just want to see Edward happy. Edward, though, will never allow her to be replaced."

"Can I tell you something? Something that will stay between the two of us?"

"Of course. I love Esme but I could complain a little on my own about her behavior sometimes. Besides, the only other person I really talk to is Tanya...and that will not be happening again anytime soon."

"I suspect that Edward did not want to take me as his wife. Will you please tell me the truth? Did he even know about me before I arrived?"

Rosalie turned from her before turning back and making eye contact. "This should not be coming from me..."

Frustrated, she threw her hands up and leaned back on the pillows. "If it is not to come from you it is to not come from anyone! I implore you, Rosalie. Did my husband know about the marriage before that day even?"

"No," Rosalie confirmed quietly. "He had returned the night before from the first trip he had taken since everything happened. He went with only Jasper-and Esme worried he may not return at all. Esme had the chapel set up for days in anticipation of the wedding. He was not aware of it until a few hours before your arrival..."

"Why was it not stopped then? Why did no one think that this might be a horrible idea?" Isabella asked, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"The priest had come and was there to help break the news. Edward contested it at first," Rosalie relented, "but when he heard that you had already been sent for, that you were making the journey, he couldn't bring himself to turn you away. Isabella, dear, why are you crying? Has he hurt you? Is that why you hid from him?"

Shaking her head, she wiped her tears and tried to slow her breathing. "He is very...tormented, Rosalie. He is not happy and I truly do not know that he will ever care for me the way Emmett cares for you. I do not mean to sound ungrateful but I feel that I have burdened him more than helped him as Esme had so hoped. Please do not breathe a word of this..."

"I would not say anything. You can trust me. You speak of him being unhappy. Are you, yourself, unhappy as well?"

"I...I don't know," she answered honestly. "A part of me wanted to die in that room I was hiding in...to just waste away to nothing so that I did not have to feel so alone anymore. There are times, though, times that I yearn to see Edward...to know that he is at least slightly happy as my husband."

She wanted to say that there are times when she misses Jacob so much it hurts but realized two things. Rosalie should not know about that and over the past few days she had come to miss Edward almost as much. In fact, the absence of Edward caused for her to think about him as she fell asleep instead of her usual thoughts of Jacob. It scared her to think of what that could mean.

"You are never alone, Isabella. You have all of us, including Esme who I will admit can be trying at times. She loves both of her children dearly and I would like to think that she loves us just as much. She does not act the way she does to be hurtful. You will understand someday when you are a mother, Isabella. Which, if you have any questions about carrying a child, please just ask. We are all here for each other. Emmett and I have felt included in this home since Esme asked Emmett, Emily, and I to join them here when she began to worry for Edward. I think she felt Emmett could help him through everything that she could not. Now, I suppose she is expecting the same thing of you. He'll come around, Isabella. Until then, we can help to support each other. Tis nice having another girl around and we can experience future pregnancies together," Rosalie laughed, rubbing her belly tiredly.

Isabella felt sick but gave a forced, small smile before standing up, "Would you like for me to check on dear Emily before we retire for the night?"

"Verily. Thank you, Isabella. I am glad you are here."

~EA~

"They are lowering the bridge!" Rosalie said with relief the next night as they were just getting ready to sit down for dinner. Standing back up, she waddled out to greet the men with Esme, Isabella, and Carlisle following behind. Isabella could tell that the lone horsemen tearing across to them was Emmett and her heart sank. She wondered what they would do with her if he wasn't to return. The idea of returning home for the first time since she arrived made her feel sick instead of excited.

She turned to Esme who actually looked kind of embarrassed. Emmett was almost to them, and when he finally arrived, he jumped off of his horse and practically ran to Rosalie. "The child has not come yet?" he asked, as if her big belly was not confirmation enough.

Isabella did not wait for her response because just as she began to talk, the sound of hooves hitting the bridge could be heard again, and this time the ruckus was made by two horses. She could not help but smile as Edward made his way over with Jasper at his side. They were not overworking their horses as it was obvious Emmett had done. Esme seemed to be relieved now as well and hugged her husband around the waist. As the two other men dismounted, Edward looked Isabella over, as if she was the one returning from a long trip, and returned a hug from his mother. Jasper received a hug as well and nodded to everyone before taking the three horses and heading towards the stables.

"Dinner is ready for when you are!" Siobhan called from the doorway.

Everyone began their trek into the house, accept Edward, who stood watching his wife curiously. Taking a step towards her, as if trying to decide to give her a hug or not, Isabella chose to decide for him. As soon as the peanut gallery were all through the door on their way to dinner, she threw her arms around him. He was tense at first, as if in shock, but then he relaxed. As her body melted into his, she dug her nose into the side of his neck and breathed deeply. It felt good to have him home and the relief that he had returned to her made her want to cry.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, surprising her because he sounded like he wanted the answer to be no.

"Not really," she replied.

"Then come. Let us walk the paths."

She allowed him to take her hand and guide her back to their swampy field. To her surprise, it was much dryer and only the very center of it looked muddy. Sitting down on the bench with him, she watched him pull something from the large satchel he was carrying. "I...um...found someone who...they have a small shop...well...here. I think you might want them...I saw them and thought...of...well, you..."

Isabella tried to not laugh at her husband ,who was usually so in control, now fumbled for words. He handed her the brown package and she looked at him curiously. "Open it," he prompted.

Pulling the brown paper off, she handed it to him and put it back in the bag, leaving her with two beautiful books. The first was a novel she had never read before and she smiled at the idea of having a new book. The second, though, was even more amazing. It was a hard covered book with small diamonds around the edges and what looked like gold leaf paper. Inside was blank. "I thought you would like to keep a journal...or even write a story of your own...I know you enjoy writing and reading both."

"This is beautiful, Edward. Thank you."

She was quiet for awhile, just running her fingers over the embellishments on the journal. "I hope you had a few good days free of me," he said with a small smile. He was not fooling her, though. He just looked sad. The feelings that she felt the night Esme clued her in on just how recent Katherine had passed away came back to her. She wanted to hug him again. She refrained, though, and decided that she needed to talk to him, regardless of whether or not he wanted to hear what she had to say.

"Edward, will you allow me to speak candidly?"

He looked at her, concern evident, but he nodded. "Of course. Here, give me your books. I'll put them back in my bag until we return to the dining hall. What do you have to say?"

"I know that it was not you and my father who arranged this marriage. I know that you did not want it..."

"Isabella, please, it is complicated..."

"You are gone for four days and return to call me Isabella?" she asked, cutting him off.

He frowned, "_Bella_, it is not that I did not want you..."

"I understand. It has only been two months..."

"Who told you?" he asked, obviously upset.

"Did you plan to keep it from me forever? Do you not realize it is on their tombstones? Did you not realize that I would see that the date on the little tombstone is different from that of Katherine's?"

"Garrett's," he corrected, standing up and shaking his head.

Just as he was about to walk away, Isabella stood up, wanting to explain that she wasn't upset with him and that he didn't have to go through all of this on his own. "Was that his name?"

"Don't."

"Please, just talk to me!"

"About what? Do you want me to stand here and tell you that I can't love you because I love someone who's dead? That I don't want children because every time I think about a baby, I think of holding my dead son?"

She felt like she'd been slapped and her heart clenched. She let herself cry from both frustration and hurt. Hurt for him but frustration from not knowing what to say. She let him walk away, leaving her in the field to think. She sat there, wondering if he was going to come back for her. He never returned and it was getting cold...not to mention the fact that it was getting dark. Finally, she stood and began to make here way back towards the house. The sound of boots crunching along the path made her freeze in her spot.

Ducking down, she hid behind a large tree trunk, her hand resting on her heart as it beat faster. A second set of footsteps joined the first and then she heard the heard the voices. "Edward, you really need to be more careful with her. She should not be out here on her own...what if she gets sick...or lost...or what if she's with child?"

"She is not with child. Jazz, this is wrong. I care much more for her than I should."

"Maybe you should show that a little more...I have told you before, she is your wife! You are allowed to love her..."

"Katherine has barely been gone a couple months. What does that mean? I am not a good husband...to either of them."

Their voices were fading out as they passed by her and continued walking. Jasper carried a torch and she had to duck out of the way. The last thing she heard was Edward. "I have to find her, Jasper...I'll worry about what should be done about our marriage once she is safe. Isabella! Bella, please, come back to the castle!"

She listened as they continued closer to the field before stepping onto the path and debating about what to do. He sounded truly scared as he called for her and she decided to head towards them. "Edward?"

Neither of the guys were near enough to hear her and she continued, ending up following the path past the field and it was then that she noticed the forest was getting thicker. Telling herself that they had to be close, she continued on, calling out to both of them. Neither answered and she kept going. With a sigh, she decided to turn around and head back to the path.

"Edward!" Isabella all but screamed for him a while later as she walked faster, desperately trying to find the path that would lead her to the castle, to safety, to warmth. Her entire body felt cold and she shivered,yelling for them again. The ground was covered in leaves and the leaves were covered with heavy dew. Nearly in tears, she felt her toes go numb as the cold soaked through her shoes. "EDWARD! JASPER!"

She had been walking for what felt like hours. Tired and shaking, she tried to run, only to slip and land hard on her right side. It was at that point, with her hip bloody and bruised, that she stayed on the ground. Feeling that she just needed to rest, to close her eyes and try to figure things out, she let the dark grow darker behind her eyelids.

"Wake up." The voice came to her like a mirage in a dessert. "Can you understand what I'm saying?"

"Jacob? I do not know how to get back..."

"You have to wake up."

"I do not want...do not leave me. Please. Please...I miss you..."

"Jasper, help me lift her. We have to get her back home."

"Jacob, I can't go back home," Isabella mumbled into him as she felt him lift her in his arms. "I...Edward...oh, no. He must be worried...I did not mean to..."

"Bella? Isabella, can you hear me? I am right here!"

Everything came back to her, then. Just as she heard Jasper ask if she had any head wounds, she opened her eyes to find herself looking at Edward's shirt. He felt wet and she realized he was sweating despite the freezing cold, fall air. "Edward?" she asked, disoriented.

"Thank the heavens! Jasper, she's awake!" his footsteps sped up as she started crying again, relieved that he had found her and that she was safe. That was the only feeling she had...the feeling of safety. "I've got you. Try to stay awake. I'm sorry, Bella, I'm sorry. I should never have left you..."

She tried to apologize but they were stepping into the castle then and the lit torches hurt her eyes, disorienting her even more. "Father!" Edward called out. She felt herself being laid down on a bed and realized just how sick she felt. It was definitely not a soreness in just her hip. Her head pounded, her stomach was rolling, and she was just as wet as Edward felt. Isabella felt someone prop her up against them but just as she realized it was Edward and she went to apologize, darkness took her again.

By mid-morning the next day, she began to come to. Voices could be heard around her and as if by instinct, she turned her head towards Edward's. His words made her want to go back to the blackness. "I am sending her back to Forks. Father, I refuse to do this to her any longer. I want to love her...I _do_ love her...but it is not fair to her that I can not care for her the way I should. I try to do what is right for her but then I remember them and I feel as if I am betraying them..."

"You just need to give it time, Edward!" Esme pleaded.

"Esme, love, he is hurting! Look at her, look at Isabella, do you see what this is doing to each of them? Perhaps we should just send her home..."

"He is her husband!" Esme cried.

Unable to control it, she coughed loudly, causing silence to follow in the room—except for her hacking up her lungs. "Please, leave me alone with her," Edward requested, walking over to where she was. She tried to sit up but he told her to lie back down and relax.

"Please, do not..." she choked out, wanting to beg him to not send her home. She held onto the hope that he did love her, that what she heard was not a lie or a ploy to talk his mother into letting her go back to her father.

He must have thought she was truly afraid of him, that she didn't want to be left alone with him, because he shook his head. "I do not want to hurt you..."

"I know," she whispered, silently begging him to let her stay. "I do not want to return to Forks. Please."

"You want to stay? You want to stay here with me at the castle?"

"Edward, I heard what you said...is it true? Do you really, truly love me?"

"I still love them," he admitted, shaking his head.

"That was not what I asked you!"

"I was scared...why did you not come back to the castle? Why were you in the woods?"

He was avoiding the question. "Do you love me?" she asked, making it obvious that she was frustrated.

"Who is Jacob?"

Her breath caught and she remembered the walk back to the castle, imagining Jacob's voice, of course he had heard all of that. "He is a friend..."

"You mentioned Alice, she is your friend. You mentioned your father and your servant, but you never mentioned him. When I find you, unconscious in the woods, you beg him not to leave you. He is not just a friend." Falling into a coughing fit again, Isabella tried to explain but her body was just not going to allow it. "Isabella, please just rest. I will not leave you. I promise."

"Edward...please...there is nothing between Jacob and I..."

"Rest. I will not leave you."

"Do not send me back."

"Rest."

She slept until the next evening, dozing off and on in between waking to eat something small and use the washroom. Edward, true to his word, never left her side. Her hip was really swollen and bruised but she otherwise felt fine after getting some sleep. Edward seemed to be watching her even more closely, as if he was waiting for her to jump from the wooden bridge outside. She wondered if it was possible to feel so attached to him when she barely knew him, when he acted so coldly towards her, and when he seemed to be completely confused concerning whether or not he should send her back to her family. Even for Jacob, she knew she was not willing to leave Edward, and that thought scared her more than anything.

The next night, Isabella was curled up in their bed, drinking hot tea and reading her new book when Edward came in. "The baby is on it's way. I trust you are feeling better?"

"Very much. Are you ready for bed or do you want to stay up for your new niece or nephew," she asked, smiling at how giddy he seemed. He actually seemed happy.

"You need rest, beauty. My mother is going to come get us when the baby arrives."

"Edward, I have rested for hours upon hours...we should talk."

"The last time we talked, Isabella, you ran into the woods and I thought you were gone. Really gone."

"You want to send me away!" she accused.

"Only because I know you are unhappy here. You care for another man. Good heavens, Bella, you could have died out there! Do you know how cold it has been getting at night? What would have happened if I had not found you when I did? There are animals...and..."

"I wasn't running _from_ you, Edward! I was running _towards_ you. I heard you and Jasper and I did not want you to know that I had heard you...so I waited until you were closer to the big field...and I yelled for you but you were not there..."

"You heard what I said to Jasper _and_ my father?"

"Yes. Do you truly care about me?"

"Yes."

"Rosalie said you wouldn't turn me away. She said you would not send me home, even though you were hurting, even though you did not want this marriage."

"Bella, I am giving you the opportunity to go home to your family and to be with the man you love. If it is money that your father saw in me, I will gladly make sure you are taken care of. I can give money to this Jacob..." His giddiness was completely gone.

Wanting to try to redirect his thinking, she said, "I do not want to keep secrets. Do you see what secrets are doing? We are spending all of our time together trying to keep things from each other instead of trying to just _be_ together! I _know_ you care for me. I_ know_ you miss Katherine. I _know_ you do not love me as you have loved her and I know that you love Garrett even though you can no longer hold him!"

"You love Jacob and you are young and confused. I do not know enough about you to make this decision..."

"My birth name is Isabella Marie Swan," Isabella began, sitting up on her knees, and wincing as her hip screamed in protest. She had to convince him to let her stay. "I have a wonderful father and a mother who was killed for no reason. My best friend is Mary Alice Brandon, but we just call her Alice. Her father died as well and so she visits with us a lot. We only have one person who works outside, besides Jacob, his name is Peter and he has always been nice to me. Jacob is what my father calls a 'wanderer', he came to live with us after just kind of showing up one day.

"I do not very much care for the winter as I am always cold. I like to be outside but I am clumsy. I like horseback riding, though I am not very good at it. I like books. A lot. I love writing but I don't like it to be shared with others...accept Alice."

She stopped talking, suddenly feeling a blush break out across her cheeks as she saw Edward's amused smile. He was not saying anything but he was definitely half smiling, which was good. It meant he was not going to walk out and be angry with her. "I think that is the most I have heard you say in the entire time that you have come to live here."

"It is your turn, Master Cullen," she said quietly.

"My birth name," he started with a smile, "is Edward Anthony Cullen. I live here with my mother and father."

When he didn't say anything else, she frowned. "And?"

"And...my brother and his wife live here as well, and their daughter Emily...and my best friend and our guard, Jasper."

"And?" she prompted again.

He looked like he was getting agitated. "And I like the cold, as I am always warm. Reading is far from my favorite thing to do, though I liked to hear you reading out loud. And...I am very jealous of a man I have never met before," he relented.

When she raised an eyebrow and the 'and' went unspoken, he sighed. " And I was married once...and had the opportunity to be a father for three amazing days...and I love them still."

Her hand had found his and she sat up on her knees even straighter so she could be closer to him, despite her protesting hip, "And..." he finished, "I was given the daughter of a very wonderful man to keep safe...and I'm failing miserably at it. I should be sending her away...but instead...I am selfishly going to give into her wish of remaining with me—though I can not fathom why she would want to."

She held his hand tightly, wishing she could explain something that she did not understand either. "I can stay?"

"We will take it by day, Bella. If you decide you can not or do not want to do this anymore...just say the words. You must promise me that you will stay away from the forest by yourself...I regret leaving you out there more than you can ever know. Promise that you will be more careful with keeping yourself safe. I could not bear to be the cause of yet another death."

"What happened was not your fault..." she argued, standing to undo her gowns so that they could settle in for bed. Instead, she felt him come to stand behind her.

"Do you think this gown is warm enough for you?" he asked.

She looked down, forgetting her train of thought, she was wearing the silky one that Emmett and Rosalie had given to her. "Yes..."

"Then come to bed, Bella. I swear that I will do a better job of protecting you."

She suddenly felt warm all over and he lead her gently over to their bed. Lying down beside him with her warm clothes still on, she felt him wrap around her like normal, and could not help but to smile. She had waited for him to return and he was finally here. Holding her like it was second nature, he began to snore and she just listened.

**I am still very excited for this story and hope you are too. I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about Edward's lost family and that you will let me know what you think of things so far. Your support means a lot and I will be sending out previews again if you review. You can also follow me on twitter letzigprincess. **

**I have a recommendation to make. The story is called **_**1979**_** by Scorpsifer. It is an intriguing story involving another devastated Edward, only this one is reflecting on his past. His past, of course, is Bella...who during high school struggles with an eating disorder. This is a must read...so check it out and let her know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 6**

**Something Old, Something New**

Isabella watched from the other side of Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom door as they waited for their turn to greet baby Keira. Esme had just come to get them as she had finally drifted to sleep. Her mind, frustrated from all of the sleep she had gotten lately, had not let her rest until then. The door was still closed to the room Rosalie, Emmett, and Carlisle were occupying. They could hear the cries of the newborn through the wooden door. Isabella stood, leaning against Edward due to her hurt leg. He was holding Emily in his other arm and she could see the painful expression written on his face. Her only thoughts when Esme had come in to inform them their new niece had been born were those of relief that it was not a male. She doubted Edward could hold it together to hold someone elses infant son.

Leaning farther into him, she wished she could alleviate at least a small part of the pain he was feeling. Just about two months prior, he had been welcoming new life into the world, just as Emmett was doing now. The difference was, Edward had lost someone just as he welcomed another. "Uncle Eddy, I'm tired..." Emily's little voice pulled her from her thoughts. She looked over to see the little girl burying her face into her Uncle's neck, trying to go back to sleep. He shifted a little and started to rock her gently.

"Do you want to see your new baby sister?"

She shrugged, honestly, and both Isabella and Edward had a good laugh. Suddenly, the door opened and Esme lead them in. Rosalie was on the bed, holding her new infant. Emmett was beside her, his large fingers making little circles on the baby's tiny arm. Edward still had an arm around her and his whole body went rigid for a few seconds. Everyone seemed to not be paying attention and had Isabella not known them, she would not have realized they were doing so on purpose. No one knew what his reaction was going to be and there were very few sudden movements. Esme just talked to her other son and his wife, beaming with pride, and conferring once in a while with Carlisle.

After about a minute, Edward moved the three of them forward. She limped along and felt his arm tightening his grip on her, as if worried she would fall. "I am okay," she whispered to him.

Rosalie looked around Esme to give a small laugh. "I see Sleeping Beauty is going to sleep through the chance at meeting her new sister..."

Emmett just shook his head, "Leave it to Uncle Eddy to put her to sleep. Here, Edward, I'll take her back to bed."

When Edward handed over his brother's daughter, he seemed to not want to let go and the second she was out from his arm, both of this arms were brought tightly around Isabella. Esme beamed even brighter but Isabella felt awful for him. He was clinging to her as if she were his lifeline. Carlisle was cleaning some things up and Esme gladly took the baby for Rosalie so that she could rest a little. Isabella watched as Esme snuggled the baby close to her and cooed. Swaying from side to side, Esme eventually made her way over to them and held the baby out to Isabella. "Would like to hold her?"

She swallowed hard, looking to Edward for a sign that this would not be a good idea. He reluctantly let her go, guiding her over to a chair by the bed so that all of her weight was not on the sore leg. Esme handed the tiny infant down to her and immediately Isabella's entire body reacted. Her arms tightened as if to protect, her heart pounded as if immediately connecting the baby to feelings of love, and even her smile grew, as if to promise the newborn how much they were all happy she was there. Letting out a small cry, the baby balled up her little fists and whined. Instinctively, Isabella rocked her and whispered words of encouragement. The cries died away and the baby began to sleep lightly.

When she remembered there were others in the room, she looked to her husband and asked, "Would you like to hold her?"

He shook his head but came to kneel beside her. He rubbed the baby's little hand with two fingers and smiled at her in adoration. She wanted to hug him, to tell him it was okay to miss his own baby. Instead, she smiled as understandingly as possible. The chair was hard and she shifted after a couple more minutes, obviously uncomfortable. "I shall get Isabella back to bed," Edward stood and turned to Rosalie. "She is beautiful, Rose."

"Thank you. If ever you would like to hold her, just let us know. We know this is not easy for you. There will be others, though, Edward. Isabella is a natural. I promise you will be happy again...someday."

Everyone told them goodnight as he led her back to their quarters. Neither she nor Edward said a word the entire way back. Once in the privacy of their own room, she watched as he wiped at his eyes and undressed before climbing into bed and facing the wall opposite from her. Still standing, she stripped out of her gown, not caring what he had said about her sleeping with them on. She wanted him to feel her, all of her, to know that she was there. Shuffling up to him so she was lying directly behind him, she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close.

His body was shaking a little and she realized that he must be crying...just too embarrassed about it to let her see. So, pressing her lips to his back, she laid as close as possible and held on for dear life. They stayed that way until the next morning, her refusing to leave him on his own, and him refusing to let her see his admission of torment.

~EA~

The next morning, Edward said nothing to her concerning the night before. In fact, he was once again gone before she was awake. Grabbing a cloak, she headed towards the dining hall but realized no one was there. Striding towards the doors that lead outside, she shivered as the cold hit her when she stepped into the wet courtyard. Making her way to the cemetery, she was truly surprised to not see her husband. Looking around for onlookers, she made sure no one was watching and pulled the cloak closer to her throat. Her fingers worked the wrought iron gate easily, it was evident that it was well cared for. It slid open easily and she followed the heavily beaten path that lead to the two stones that caused her hurt.

Garrett Anthony Cullen and Katherine Antoinette Denali-Cullen had just recently been visited, it was evident from the flowers that were as fresh as if they were just picked. They probably were, she figured, knowing Edward had been gone on his trip and returned days later only to watch over her for the next couple. She felt like she should say something to the princess but could not think of anything worthy. There was so much she wanted to say. That she was sorry this happened to her, that she would take care of Edward, that the princess would not be forgotten...and neither would Garrett.

She felt the need to find Edward, a desperate need that made her heart throb painfully. She found her way back inside, ignoring the confused expressions of Edward's family as she walked past them by herself. He was not there and she refused to stop until she found him. Almost expecting to find him back in their bedroom, she threw open the door and felt sick when he was not to be seen. The washroom door was open and she peeked in, it as well was empty.

Holding her breath, she gently turned the knob to his and Katherine's bedroom. There was no one in there and she knew. She knew exactly where he was. Slowing her breath and calming herself, she took a deep breath and opened the door to the nursery. She found him in the rocking chair, his face grim, and his eyes swollen. "Isabella..." he breathed when he finally noticed her. He stood then, draping a baby blanket over the crib railing and leaning against it.

"Bella," she corrected.

"Please, leave me."

Fear coursed through her as she thought he was going to send her away for good. He must have figured she'd feel that way because he quickly turned to her. "Not for long. I just...I need a few minutes."

"I know you are hurting..."

"Please go. Go eat breakfast and then we will take the horses out..."

"I'll just be in the dining hall. Take your time," she said to him quietly.

~EA~

"Good morning, Jasper!" Esme said cheerfully when Jasper walked in and over to them.

"Good morning, Esme. Emmett, congratulations. I regret not being able to leave the post last night..."

"Do you never sleep, Whitlock?" Emmett asked, laughing.

Edward walked in then and sat beside Isabella, cutting into their conversation and teasing his friend lightly. "I think he sleeps up on the widow's walk..."

"Hush. I just wanted to let Isabella know that there has been word from the Webbers of her clothing being ready. I can take her into town if that is alright with you, Edward."

"I will take her, Jasper. Thank you."

"Do you need me to escort you both?"

"No. We will be fine for the day. Would you like to go today, Bella?"

Isabella watched Carlisle smile at the nickname. "Of course. If you are up for it."

"When you get back we will have to see how everything looks. I am so excited to see the ball gown..."

"Esme..." Isabella began, about to tell her that they would not be attending and that the dress was going to have to be worn at another time.

"Yes, I would love to see it," Edward agreed with his mother.

Shocked, Isabella looked back and forth between the two of them. "I...do not...you said..."

"My mother is right, Bella, I can not keep you locked up here at the castle. We will attend the ball."

"But the others..."

"The others do not know what they are talking about..."

"Alright, then," Esme smiled, "we are going to the ball."

Edward grabbed his cup and raised it, "We are going to the ball."

~EA~

While she had been feeling better, her leg still hurt. He held her hand as she limped along beside him towards the carriage awaiting them. "I thought we were taking the horses..."

With a frown, he sighed, letting go of her hand and heading over to Jasper's horse who was currently grazing in the grass. He brought it over and patted it's side before looking at Isabella. "Mount her."

Isabella's eyes found his, she was shocked. "I...this is Jasper's horse..."

"I am aware of that, Isabella."

"We will not be able to take her..."

"We will not be taking any horses today."

"Then..."

"Mount her," he commanded again.

Shaking her head, she put her good leg into a stirrup and went to lift over the other. She immediately regretted it. The pain jolted her and she tried to hop down, only to get her good leg caught because of the stirrup. Jasper's horse was much taller than the horses she was accustomed to riding, if Jake had his way, she would only be allowed out on donkeys. This time, though, she could not deny her clumsiness. Just as she was about to fall, Edward pulled her to him, righting her even though her foot was still caught. The horse did not move, sensing something was not quite right. She immediately knew Edward was expecting this to happen.

With his arms around her, holding her firmly to the horse's side, she felt him reach down and help her free her foot. Now, she was on the ground but still in his arms. The horse wandered away. "Now, Isabella, will you trust my judgment?"

His eyes were burning into hers and she felt herself flush and her breath quicken. "Verily." His face was inches from hers, moving her head slightly would be all it would take for their lips to meet. Hers were already parted as she looked up at him, desire scorching her again. Just as they were about to touch, the neighing of one of the carriage horses broke the silence. They jumped, as if guilty, and Edward began to laugh. Taking her hand, he gently kissed it, before leading her up and into the carriage.

They made their way into town and Isabella immediately noticed that there were more people milling about than before. Edward explained that the ball was always cause for excitement. "They do not have much to look forward to, except Sunday picnics. The ball gives the citizens a chance to be a part of the community."

They found the dress shop and Edward helped her down and into the building. Women, young and old, were gathered to either make or pick up purchases. A thin girl with dark hair approached them. She looked a little stressed. Without actually getting a good look at them, she gave a small smile and headed behind the counter they were in front of. Grabbing a booklet, she began thumbing through it. "I need your name..."

"Cullen," Edward said firmly.

Her head snapped up then as her eyes went wide. "Edward..."

"Hello, Angela. I trust you have been well."

"Verily. I would like to say that I thought you have been well...but I can do nothing but offer my sympathy..."

"'Tis not necessary. We are here to pick up Isabella's things. Have you two met?" he asked, turning to Isabella. When she denied that they had, he turned back to the Angela. "Angela Webber, this is my...wife...Isabella Marie. I trust that you and yours have taken great care with her articles."

"Oh, yes. I feel you will be very satisfied with the ball gown we created for her. It truly is fit for a beauty such as herself."

"Thank you," Isabella blushed.

"Who is holding up this line?" crooned a girl about five people behind them.

"Thank you, Angela," Edward said. "I shall see you at the ball."

"You are very welcome."

While Edward carried the larger garment bags to the carriage, Isabella walked with Aundrea to get her mittens and small things. Each one was in a fleece lined box and the question of money came up again. She felt guilty. It was not until she was leaving, carefully trying not to drop anything, when she heard the annoying voice from before—the same one that was not being patient in line. This time, though, the voice was coming from the girl as she stood in front of Edward. He looked like he was about to panic. The guilt quickly dissipated as it was replaced by anger.

"I was wondering when we would see you in town again. I am sorry to hear of the princess's passing... but I would be happy to try to...satisfy that part of you that yearns for her..."

"That will never be necessary," he said, striding over to where Isabella was listening to them, hat boxes heaped in her arms. Taking the boxes, he lead her over, "Bella, you should have waited for me, I was just loading the gowns into the carriage...I could have come back for those..."

"It is fine, Edward," she said with a small smile.

"Jessica, this is my wife, Isabella Marie. I am only here to pick up some things for her so that she will be safe and warm for the long winter months."

"I have heard rumors of you marrying someone else. I supposed I did not believe it..."

"'Tis true."

"Well, then, Edward...Isabella, I will see you both at the ball."

Isabella put on her biggest, fakest smile. "Yes, it will indeed be a pleasure for me to see you again."

~EA~

"That girl is horrid," Isabella commented as the carriage pulled away to take them back to the castle.

"She knows not how to interact appropriately with others I'm afraid. I think that she means well..."

"Yes, she very well means to make you unfaithful." Immediately, Isabella regretted saying those words.

He looked hurt at first, then agitated. "I may be many things but an adulterer is not one of them, Isabella."

She frowned, they were back to being formal. "I did not mean that you would...partake...in such activities. I just meant that she wants you."

He brushed her hair behind her ear and said, "There is only one person that I want."

_Katherine, _Isabella thought. The rest of the ride home was fairly quiet and she found herself thinking about the new baby...her new niece. It was evident that the night before had caused her husband much pain and she wanted to try to help him. The idea of the ball worried her as she had just witnessed how some of the women from town treated the death of his beloved princess. He was right, it was frustrating to have to hear apologies and sympathies that are only reminders of what has been lost...reminders of the fact that they can not give him what he truly wants, his princess.

When they returned, she was surprised that no one was around and they got her packages into the house without being bothered. Edward opened each thing as it was spread out all over the bed. She watched him curiously, seeing that he was checking everything as if to ensure that it was up to his standards. With an amused smile, she sat down beside a blue hat box and asked, "Does everything pass inspection, Master Cullen?"

He looked up at her then, almost as if he'd forgotten she was even there. "Yes, I suppose it does."

When his eyes came to rest on the large garment bag that held the ball gown, he raised an eyebrow as if to inquire if he could open it. She shrugged and replied, "You have made these purchases, Edward. If you want to look them over, do not allow me to stop you."

He frowned and pushed the box aside so he could sit beside her. "_We_ have made these purchases, Bella. 'Tis your money, too."

She stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. When he said nothing, she took a deep breath and stood. Standing in front of him, she closed her eyes and said, "If this is my money to spend as I will, I wish not to go to the ball."

"I thought you wanted to go. You sounded verily offended when I did not ask you to go with me before..."

Her stubbornness seemed to rise to the surface and she shook her head, "May I remind you that you have yet to ask me?"

He held up a hand as if just humoring her and said, "Will you attend the ball with me, Bella?"

"No," she answered outright.

"Why the devil not?" he asked, seemingly offended and she began to feel bad.

"You are right, Edward. It is not fair to have to mingle with people who will be judging us each and every moment we are there. Surely, word is being spread of your younger wife. The younger wife who you have taken recently after..."

"You might as well just say it. I had wished to keep you two separate. It is too late for that now."

"...after Katherine passed on."

"I do not very much understand why you will not return to your family," Edward said, as if musing out loud to himself and not to his audience.

"I do not very much understand why you are so willing to have me go. You have admitted that you have feelings for me and though I know you miss her, does not even a part of you wish that I remain here?"

"Never feel that I do not want you here. It is for that exact reason that I feel you should not be. If you do not wish to attend the ball, then so be it. I have some things to attend to before dinner. I shall see you then."

Standing, he walked out quickly, shutting the door behind him. Suddenly feeling exhausted from his mood swings, she sat back on the pillows, her body having to be just so in an attempt to not lay on any of her new clothes. She could not help but feel guilty over the money spent on her gown and then another guilty feeling hit her. Regardless of whether it was appropriate to send Alice the letters she had written about her marriage, she had yet to send her a letter about _anything_. She had no idea what was happening back home and suddenly began to worry.

Sitting down at the desk outside, Isabella began to think of what to say to her friend. It felt as if she had been away for ages. So, she began with the castle and the people who inhabited it. She continued with the dress shop and the gown. She brought up the princess and how poor Edward was still reeling from her loss and the ill-fated ball. She wrote of the new baby before asking how things were back home. Was her father faring well? Did Jacob take her leaving in stride? Did he even still work the land for them anymore? Was Charlotte happy and still singing? By the time she ended the letter, she was feeling more homesick than she had in the longest time.

Thoughts of Jacob Black came to mind and she wondered if she could ever think of him as more than a good friend again. In her mind, it was clear that Edward would dominate that part of her life until probably the end of it. Briefly, she considered writing to him. She felt the need to apologize...but she quickly pushed that notion to the back of her head. Jacob did not deserve to have to hear from her and not be able to be with her. The mere thought of it was cruel and she prepared the pages she'd just written to Alice to be sent, desperately trying to kick the guilt she was feeling—over everything.

~EA~

"She is just so precious," cooed Esme later that evening at dinner. Rosalie had decided to join them but Isabella could tell she was in a great deal of pain and discomfort. She watched as Rosalie helped Emily with her meal and then picked at her own. For whatever reason, Emily was fussy and Emmett decided halfway through the meal to take her back for a nap. It was just a typical meal with them, everyone tip-toeing around what they all were really feeling. Isabella felt guilty yet she smiled and acted as if she was enjoying dinner like a starving man would.

Once in awhile she would steal glances at Edward as he would steal glances at the baby. Carlisle was holding her now and he seemed to be checking her over in the way only a doctor could. "I trust that your gown fits to your liking," Esme said as they were finishing their dessert of apple sauce.

"Um..."

"It fits her beautifully," Edward answered for her. "I have decided that we will be staying here, though. I do not wish to take Isabella out at night when it has been so cold."

Carlisle shifted in her seat and even Emmett looked uncomfortable. Esme, ever the honest one, gave him a sad, sympathetic smile. "My dear, she will be fine. You must stop this worrying over her getting sick..."

"Mother, let it go."

"You truly can not keep her locked away! That is not fair!"

Finally, having enough of this, Isabella put her spoon down and said, much louder than necessary, "I am the reason we are not to attend! I do not wish to go."

Standing, she went to leave without asking to be excused and Edward caught her hand. She froze, it was as if he were trying to communicate something to her. Finally, after throats began to be cleared and she could feel the awkwardness in the air, Edward cleared his own throat and stood. "We will be retiring early tonight. Please, excuse us."

She led this time, practically dragging him through the doors to their bedroom. "I am sorry!" she cried as soon as they were out of ear shot. "I never meant to speak so rudely to your mother..."

"I believe she deserves it. I think it is good for her to be knocked down a few rungs once in awhile. She needs to learn she can not control everything."

"I do not mean to offend, she is a very kind woman. I feel grateful to have her as your mother."

"Why do you feel grateful to have_ me_?" he asked, walking over to where she was still standing behind the door. "Do you feel that way or is it just pity? Is sorrow all you feel when you look at me because that is not love, Isabella."

"How dare you say that?" she asked, deeply hurt.

"You know very little about me other than I have lost two people very close to me in the recent past. You seem so unhappy here, running away, hiding from me..."

"We have already discussed that! I was hiding...I never ran away!"

"So you are here a couple weeks and already can forget your beloved Jacob back home?"

"You are just being mean now," she said quietly, trying to stop the tears which she knew were inevitable.

"Exactly what I am trying to explain. Why are you still here? What is in this for you?" he asked bluntly, taking a step towards her.

She had nowhere to go as the door was closed behind her. Instead of cowering, or running and hiding like he had mentioned, she squared her shoulders and took a step even closer to him. She could feel his breath he was so close. "You. I am in this for you. While you may not have developed those feelings you claimed you have, I verily developed those for you!"

Emotions poured through her that she had never experienced. He was so close to her, the urge to kiss him once again pounded through her veins. Everything in her wanted him. She fought those feelings, though, vowing that he would make the decision if and when they would actually kiss as married couples so often do. When she saw the torment return to his face, she stilled completely. Seconds later, he guided her gently from the door, opened it, and walked out. Isabella sat there, looking at the spot he had just been occupied, and wondered to herself what the devil the benefits of being there truly were.

~EA~

Isabella laid awake for what felt like hours before she heard the door creak open. He tiptoed in and she knew he was trying to be quiet. Watching him from the bed, she saw him take off his clothes before turning to lay down. He frowned when he saw her. "It is late..."

"I was having trouble sleeping."

He shook his head but laid down beside her. "Why do you not wish to attend the ball?" he asked suddenly.

She slid up on the pillows a little and answered honestly. "I do not want to upset you anymore than you already are. It is evident that you do not wish to be around everyone in town because of what they say about us. It is too soon for you..."

"Do you know where I was?" he asked quietly, turning to face her completely.

"No."

"I visited with Emmett and Rosalie. I held Keira." When he did not say anything else, she stayed quiet, waiting for him to say what he needed to say. "I miss my son."

It was not what she expected him to say as he usually avoided the topic altogether...especially with her. "I know. There are not words to describe how I feel for you..."

"He's dead," Edward whispered, then with tears on his face, he said even more quietly, "and so is his mother."

"Edward..."

"Go to sleep, Isabella."

"No..."

"I want to accept that they are gone. That is why I wanted to go to the ball but I feel that perhaps I should not accept it. I should not have married you, Isabella. It was wrong of me. Now, go to sleep."

**One step forward, two steps back. At least they are communicating with each other a little more. I'm trying not to drag this out but with both of them confused and hurting, they are not immediately just going to be okay if they have a good time at a ball together. I am working on the next chapter now, it should be up Sunday. Thank you for all the reviews and support! As is the norm, send me a review and I'll send you a preview :) LP xx**

**PS I REALLY need a beta for a o/s I am doing for a contest. It deals with BDSM and I am having trouble finding someone I agree with, who enjoys that type of story, to beta it for me. If you are interested, tell me so in your review or private message me. I would REALLY appreciate it!**

**Also, I FINALLY figured out how to do a blog and have posted the banners from Everyday Hero and Delicious, Delightful and Devilish—both are posters won in contests. Please check out the pages! Everyday Hero- http:/ letzigprincess-everydayhero. blogspot. Com/ and Delicious, Delightful, and Devilish- http:/ letzigprincess-delicious. Blogspot .com/ (Just take out the spaces) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Warning: This story is rated M for a REASON. I don't want to give away what happens so all I can say is if you begin to read and it upsets you, please stop. Some may feel sensitive about what transpires between Edward and Isabella towards the middle of this chapter. **

**Chapter 7**

**A Bitter End**

Isabella decided the next morning, when she was once again alone, that she had enough. The ball, whether or not they would go, was the following Saturday. She had her gown, she had her prince charming, and if he refused to show her by then that things would become more tolerable for both of them, she would grant him his wish. She would go back to her family. It was even more evident that this needed to happen when she joined everyone at breakfast and Edward refused to make eye contact with her. She had known deep down that his openness the night before would not come without consequence.

Esme and Carlisle had left to go into town and Rosalie and Emmett were resting after a late night with the baby. Siobhan came into the room, leading little Emily in. Emily ignored the awkward silence and skipped right over to her uncle. He kissed her cheek and let her pick pieces of bacon off of his plate. While they sat quietly, Isabella contemplated the ball. Carlisle and Esme would be in attendance and Rosalie and Emmett had been retiring early...as well as Emily. If she wanted time alone with him, that would be the time. Everything was riding on that night. She was convinced that he was not ready to love her and she did not know how long she could wait.

When the plates were cleared, Edward set his aside and greeted Jasper. Jasper had just come from outside and he did not look pleased. "There was a raid two villages over."

"My mother and father..."

"They are fine. I have sent David and Xander to accompany them. There are rumors that they are trying to build their numbers."

Isabella's heart began to pound harder with every word spoken between them. Quietly excusing herself, she walked from the room, her food barely touched. Bursting through the doors to their private quarters, she went right to her desk and began to write. She had to send correspondence to her father, she had to warn them. The door opened seconds later and she looked up slightly to see Edward in the doorway with a frown.

"You did not finish your meal." She looked at him, stunned that he would dare come to her like this, after not saying two words to her this morning. She shook her head and continued to write, picking up where she left off. "Please, go finish your food."

For the first time, it was going to happen, she was going to completely lose her patience. Standing from the desk, she braced herself and locked eyes with his. "I have no appetite. You may have lost your family but mine is still very much alive. I would like to keep it that way. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a letter to write. While you live here in your wealth-dripped walls they are barely living comfortably off the land...a land Sir Whitlock has reminded us this morning is no longer safe."

He looked at her in remorse but it only lasted a few moments. Coming around the desk, he took her wrist and pulled her closer to him. "You will eat and then we may discuss protection for your family."

"Let me go."

"I would, but may I remind you, Miss Swan, you refuse to leave."

~EA~

Since they had exchanged the painful words, neither of them had spoken to the other. After he left her to write the letter, Jasper joined her. He swore that he would arrange for two guards to tend to her family, that he would send them immediately. He also promised to send the letter with them. She sat for most of the day trying to figure out what to do. She was hungry but she refused to give him the benefit of her joining him for the midday meal. She was not going to hide this time, though, either. When she received an apology from him, he would receive one from her.

That night, she got ready for bed, her stomach growling. She laid awake for hours, regardless of the fact that she was upset with him. She knew that this was not good, if she was going to be strong for herself, she could not be strong for both of them...and she could also not let her feelings for him overshadow her frustration.

It had been two nights and they had not spoken. On the third night, she left their room, determined to demand an apology from him. It did not take long to figure out where he was, he was exactly where she thought he'd be. On the floor, in front, of his lost child's crib, Edward snored loudly. She hated herself. As much as she was hurting, she had to remember that he was hurting too. Just about to leave, she froze when she heard him. He was on his back, his eyes moving behind their lids, and he was mumbling. At first, she hadn't been able to hear him clearly. Now, she could make out her name.

His face twisted in pain as his muscles jerked. Every few seconds, he'd call out to her, though it was clear that he was in a deep sleep. Unable to walk away from him, she walked over and crouched beside his body. "Edward?" she asked, gently nudging his arm. He stirred but only a little before his breathing became steady again and she heard him whisper her name once more. This time it came out even more desperate than before. Crossing her legs, she sat as close to him as possible and pulled his shoulders up. When his head was resting on her lap, she whispered into his ear, trying to wake him up without startling him. "Edward?" she asked, this time with a little more strength.

Edward's eyes drifted open and he sat up, startled after taking her in for a moment. Clearing his throat, he pushed away from her and stood, leaving her on the floor. "You should be in bed. It is late."

"Do not turn me away..." she began, standing up and walking over to him. "Please, just come to bed with me."

She put her arms around him and he tensed as he had the last time she hugged him, when he had returned from his trip. Only this time, he did not relax. "You need to sleep. Go."

"You may come with me to bed or you may stay here...with me...on this floor. We have agreed to not send me home and it is rather a waste if we never speak to each other again."

Taking her by the arm, he pulled from her grasp and brought her through the door. Once they were in the hallway, he pulled until she was back in their bedroom. Pulling at the ties on her gown, the ones around her neck, he loosened them and began to bring her gown down to expose her. "Is this what you want? You want to live as man and wife?"

There was fire burning through him and she had no way of knowing if that fire was out of lust or out of hate. Scared, she tried to turn from him but he pulled her by the gowns sleeve back to him. "Answer me, Isabella! Is this what you want?"

"I...I do not know!" she cried, growing more terrified by the second.

"You do not know?" he sneered. He brought her towards him and bent his head, looking her in the eyes. "You have no_ idea_, Isabella, what transpires between a man and his wife?"

"Edward..." she begged, pleading that he let her go.

Bending his head, he took her nipple in his mouth and despite the fear she felt at that moment, a tightening in her stomach began. He took a long pull before wrapping his tongue around it and sucking again. She did not want him to know that she was enjoying it, so she fought to keep her moans to herself. Finally he righted himself and took her by the shoulders. The fear was back as he pushed her down onto the bed. As he unbuckled the pants he was wearing, she winced. Not because of the fear but because her hip felt like it was on fire from the position she was in with her legs hanging over the edge.

Stroking himself as he looked down at her, he used his other hand to pull at her gown, tugging it the rest of the way off. Throwing it to the side, he practically fell on top of her. "If you care to know, I will show you, what it means to be husband and wife!"

She felt his finger slide inside of her and she began to cry. Even that one finger hurt and she was not daft. She knew what was coming next and she also knew it would be excruciating. Turning her face from his, she let the tears come and felt her body shutter in a sob. He grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. The second he saw her tears, he froze. Pushing off of her, the disgust she saw on his face was more than she could ever feel towards him. Self-hatred seethed beneath the surface of his skin as if she could visibly see it.

He pushed away from her and not once had she ever seen a man in such a tormented mental state. She was actually scared _for_ him and that far outweighed her fear _of_ him. "Edward..." she got out as he opened the door to the bedroom, refusing to look back at her. He didn't turn around. "Where are you going? You are..."

The door closed with a small click, she had noticed that he had his clothes in his hand, and she immediately grabbed her sleeping gown. Throwing it on over her head, she tied up the front and slid on her shoes. "Edward!" she called, stepping into the torch-lit hallway. She checked each room before grabbing her new cloak from the bedroom and running towards the front doorway. Of course, it had to be pouring down rain and she tore across the courtyard towards the paths, remembering very well what had happened the last time. Instead of following it far, she got to the cemetery and threw the gate open, her feet slipping in the wet grass.

He was there, leaning against the side of Katherine's tombstone. His pants were on but his shirt was nowhere to be found. It was pitch black but she could make out his figure and see his skin in the moonlight. His shoulders were shaking and as she got closer she could hear the sobs. He did not notice her and she came closer, the rain came down in sheets and she could feel that her clothes were already soaked through. She could make out the goosebumps covering his entire upper body and taking her cloak off, she approached him and set it over him. It was then that he finally saw her.

She could not tell, except from the sobs, that he was crying. His hair was pushed down from the rain and the water was running over his face. He gave her an exasperated look before standing and handing her back the cloak. She refused to put it on. "Are you that stupid, Isabella? How can you possibly come out here to do anything other than curse my name and inform me that you will be leaving and never look back."

She ignored his cutting words, words only meant to cut himself, and shook her head. "Sir, you have no shirt and the weather is deplorable! Please, come back inside before you catch death!"

He chuckled then, "You worry about _me_? You show concern for _me _after I... Good Savior, Isabella! Do you understand what I almost did to you? What I _did_ do to you?"

At the last question, the amusement was gone from his voice, he just sounded angry. She shook her head."You did not hurt me! I mean, of course, you did...but it was not...I am well aware that it will hurt when we...partake..."

Closing his eyes tightly, he pulled the cloak from her grip and forcibly wrapped it around her. "Go back to the castle!"

"I will not leave you!"

"Why?" he asked, completely exasperated and all but screaming it at her.

"Because...because I love you!" she relented in a tired tone. Breathing heavily, they both stood there watching each other as if waiting for the other to make a move. She was not sure what that move should be...from either one of them...but he was shaking from the cold and she instinctively went towards him. Pulling him towards her, feeling as if it were her turn to force him into something, she grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. The kiss was hard and intense and her first.

She had never kissed anyone before this moment, except for her father—and then it was only on his cheek. This was more and she could not pull away. Now that their lips were actually touching, she truly did not know what to do and he was not making any moves. Just as she went to pull away, she felt his hand tighten on her good hip, holding her there. Then, she felt the pressure against her lips intensify and before long, his tongue was licking along her bottom lip.

Seconds later, they were caught up in each other, their lips and tongues crashing together as they both took what they wanted from the other. His body pressed into hers and she could feel his erection pressing into the thin gown under her opened cloak. His skin was smooth under her fingers as she felt down his back, running her fingers over his muscles. She could not help but moan against his tongue and it seemed to break him from the spell that she was currently still under.

He did not pull away, instead, he put his forehead against hers and met her eyes. "Why do you love me, Isabella? After all that I have done to you. How can you possibly care for me?"

Not breaking eye contact she thought for a moment, wondering how to possibly explain why she loved him the way she did. She did not understand it anymore than he did. Finally, she said, "My father traveled a lot, much like you do. I saw that my friend's parents were almost always both there...they did not travel like my father did so often. I asked my mother once why she loved him so, even though he left us many days out of the year. She never did give an answer, just said that someday I would understand. I understand now and I regret to inform you that just as she was unable to answer me, I can not supply an answer to you either."

There was silence between them and the second she shivered, he pulled the cloak shut at the front and rubbed his hands on her arms to warm her. "Let's get you inside, Beauty."

"Please do not leave me once we are back inside. Please."

"I shall not."

~EA~

He kept his word-eventually. The second they were through the doors of their bedroom, he told her to take her gown off, that she needed to get dry before she could get sick. "Bella, I am sorry for my behavior...it was...it is...unforgivable..."

"You did not hurt me," she said, turning into him as he gently and cautiously helped her out of her gown. Immediately, he pulled a blanket around her. "You will not. I know that you will not."

"I wanted to," he whispered, bringing her over the bed and pulling the blankets over her. Sitting beside her, as if tucking her into bed, he took her hand. They were both exhausted, she could see it in his eyes as he looked down at her.

"You didn't," she replied again. "Do you...are you...still feeling angry with me?"

He let go of her and, with his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees, he rubbed his face. "No...I feel only remorse for my actions."

"You're going to leave, aren't you?" she asked, knowing the exact reason he was not climbing into bed with her.

He looked at her, his mouth opening slightly. The idea of him walking away for good, just as Esme had been afraid of, now terrified her completely. He was going to do it this time. "Sleep, Bella. It is time for you to sleep."

"Will I see you in the morning?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"I will not leave you tonight. I will be right outside your door," he said, kissing her forehead before trying to stand up.

"No! Edward, please! You promised you would not leave me tonight!" She grabbed his arm firmly, refusing to let him go.

"It is not safe for you to be around me."

"I want no one else!" She felt desperate now, like a hole was being torn low in her belly.

"I have sent for Jacob..."

"What?" Isabella gasped. "No...I..."

"Word has been sent to him to come for you and take you home. You are going home, Beauty," he said in the sweetest tone he had used with her since she arrived, yet the happiness did not touch his eyes. He looked like he might cry again.

More of her own tears fell, "Stay with me tonight, please. Just stay."

"I'll be right on the other side of the door," he said, though she could tell his resolve was waivering.

Seeing it a s hopeless situation, she did one of the bravest things she had ever done. Grabbing his arm up higher this time, she pushed herself up and all but forced herself on him. Skipping the soft kisses they had exchanged outside in the beginning, she went straight for the heavy and desperate. It worked. While for a second she thought he would push her away, he eventually gave in and kissed her back. Her heart soared and her body was screaming for him. They stayed that way until her abs began to protest and her hip began to throb from the angle she was in. Sitting back, she pulled him right along with her and he watched her with that amused smile he was so good at.

"You really do not want me to leave, do you? You are more upset that I would leave than when I almost...did what I did to you..."

"Shhh. Do not think about it, Master Cullen. Kiss me again," she practically pleaded with him. He went to say something else but shook his head, as if changing his mind. Bringing his lips down to meet hers, it was not lost on Isabella that he was laying on top of her. She wanted more and he did not seem to know what he wanted. So, for the rest of the night, they helped each other to become comfortable as the kiss continued.

~EA~

Isabella woke the next morning with swollen eyes, sore muscles, and a throbbing headache. Edward, of course, was not with her and she would have thought she dreamt the whole, wonderful ordeal had her lips not been swollen. She looked around the room, frowning when she saw her soaked gown and clock balled up where they were left the night before. Dressing herself, she headed out for breakfast when a realization finally became real to her. Jacob Black was coming here. Jacob Black was coming to take her home. The night before could be the last night she would ever share with Edward. Turning, she went through each of their rooms, desperately seeking him out.

When her search failed, she headed to the breakfast table and nearly fainted in relief when she saw Edward there. His plate was already clean and little Emily was in his lap telling him some story that he seemed to be completely taken by. Isabella smiled to herself, knowing the tales small children could create. He looked over at her and there was no smile to give away that he was happy. "Emily, love, run along. Isabella will come find you a little later."

When the girl was heading towards her parent's quarters, Isabella began to speak. "Sir, I do not wish to return home."

He sighed and rested his elbows on the table, his fingers coming together as if he were praying. "Bella, it is too late. Young Jacob is coming for you."

"What did you tell him?" she asked, her heart melting from his use of her nickname.

"I explained that you are unhappy and I am not well suited to care for you. So, I am giving you...to him..."

"I am yours!" Isabella protested, appalled that he would treat her like an object to be handed off to someone else who could use her better.

Edward looked like he was in pain and she could tell he did not know what to say. There truly was not much to say when it came to giving away your wife to another man. "This is for the best."

"No. It isn't. Did last night mean nothing to you?"

"Last night was the worst and best night of my life since losing my family. I shall never be able to show you how sorry I am for what I almost did..."

"If you want to make it up to me, do not send me with Jacob!"

"You do not know of what you are asking," he answered after recovering from her blunt request.

"I know that..." Isabella began to argue but she let her voice trailed off before she could finish. What did she know? That she loved him more and more by the second? That she would never be the same if she went back with Jacob? That she could never love Jacob?

"You know nothing. You are young. You think you understand..."

Anger replaced all of her sadness at that point. It was one thing to say she was confused because he was confused, it was another to use her age against her. Pushing away from the table, she stood and began to walk towards the front door. She needed air. "Isabella, you need to eat."

Spinning around, she spat, "How dare you? What does it matter that I eat? What does it matter that I am unhappy?"

"I am letting you return to your home!" he replied back, frustrated and standing up.

"Quit pretending that you care for me! Just stop!"

Turning again, she walked towards the doors and threw them open. For once, the weather was in her favor as she stepped into the warm fall day. Heading towards the stables, Isabella was surprised how many people were milling about on the large property. She walked past each of them with determination, figuring there was probably always that many people there but this time she just didn't want them to be. Sliding the wooden door open to the stables, she saw there were two horses still in the large wooden structure while their friends were out in the pastures. She needed a horse that was common and she did not take time to fit her horse with a saddle. She chose the one closest to her. The horse was a beautiful dark brown color with deep black hair.

Needing to get away, and quick, she climbed onto the horse. She had to use one of the stall gates to help practically jump up onto it and as soon as she was seated, she felt the horse start. He walked back quickly, as if surprised but he seemed to realize she was inexperienced and took her lead. Kicking his sides gently, he started out slowly as they made their way across the courtyard. She held on as best she could, wishing she had grabbed a saddle, and worked on keeping herself steady. By the time they hit the wooden bridge, which she took a second to thank the heavens was already lowered, she prompted the horse to speed up.

Before she could make it to the end, there was a loud whistle behind her and her horse came to a sudden stop. It turned then even as she tried to keep him pointing in the other direction. "No. Keep going..."

The stubborn animal hung his head as if he could feel her disappointment. He did not stop though. With a slow, defeated stride, he continued back over the bridge. Isabella seethed when she saw who was whistling and yelling. "Come on, girl!" Edward called.

Now that her chance of leaving on her own was seemingly pulled out from under her, she noticed the pain in her hip. She refused to cry, though, keeping her head up. Nothing she could do was right, she did not even properly guess the sex of the horse. No wonder it was not listening to her, she thought, then rolled her eyes at herself as she could not believe she was actually considering this animal as if it could have known that. Finally, they were directly in front of Edward and the horse still stood with her head down. "Isabella, will you please step down from Mulan?"

"No. Mulan, run! Come on!"

The horse just walked a small circle and came back. Groaning, she jumped down and crossed her arms. "If you are unaware, I _was _trying to run _from_ you this time!"

"Perhaps, if you are to try to leave again, you choose another horse. One that is not my own!"

"This is your horse?" Isabella asked, incredulous at her luck. Then throwing her hands in the air, she said, "I am giving up. I do belong to you and because of that, I will do as you wish. Just know that you are hurting me more by giving me away than you could ever hurt me by keeping me to yourself."

He looked down at the ground. "I want you to explain to me why you are so happy here. You say you can not explain how you love me...you also have given me no reasons to keep you here. If I do not let Jacob Black take you away, what kind of life do you see yourself living in a place such as this? Fairy tales from your youth are filled of white horses, prince charmings, sparkling castles...true fairy tales are not your perfect perceptions of such things. A true fairy tale is finding someone whom you would give up everything for. I can not expect you to have that with me. Jacob Black can give you that, Isabella."

"I have not believed in fairy tales since I was a baby-when I grew up with the knowledge that people in our village were being slaughtered for nothing. I do not want a fairy tale. I do not want to be a princess. I want to be Bella. Only _your_ Bella."

"You will be happy. You will see. When you are surrounded by your family." Isabella tried to not roll her eyes at this new approach. He was trying to convince her but she had a feeling he did not believe a word of it anymore than she did. She felt hope. He was struggling with her leaving.

"You have feelings for me too, Edward. I can feel it. I felt it when you took care of me after I was lost in the woods, after I hid from you, and last night..."

"After I nearly raped you?"

The word sounded harsher now that it had actually been spoken aloud. "You did not know what you were doing. You were deeply upset. You were more upset about it than I was...you said so yourself! I'm not giving up on you. You are a good person and you love me, I know you do! If you did not love me, you would have hurt me last night but you stopped!"

Stepping towards him, she looked into his eyes. "I am begging you, please, please just let me stay. I want to stay here with you!"

"With neither of our hands being forced, you would still choose to marry me? You would leave behind your Alice and Jacob Black to marry me?"

"Yes," she answered with conviction. "I do believe that is what a true fairy tale, according to you, is."

He frowned as she took both of his hands and shook him a little to get him to respond. All he said was, "'Tis too late, my Bella. He should arrive sometime today. Soon."

"Send him away, then!"

Edward shook his head, "You do not mean that. A part of you must still love him. Let him come, let him see you. If you still feel the same way you do when it comes time for him to leave, I will keep you here. Until then, I want you to decide for yourself who you shall be with. I must return Mulan to the stables. I beg you to go eat."

**I know some of you are going to struggle a great deal with this chapter, and I'm deeply sorry if I upset some of you. Keep in mind that back in these times, Bella would be very naïve about things, especially dealing with a husband and what is expected of her. I know that some of you like to have beat the crap out of Edward and I understand. With that said, I hope most of you are going to stick around to see how this plays out. I'd love to hear from you but please don't be too harsh with me. I do promise things will eventually get better. **

**A new chapter is also up for 1979 and I'm sure Scorpsifer would love to hear your opinion of it. Check it out! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 8**

**Inflicted**

Isabella spent her day with Emily, collecting leaves and other fall things to decorate the dining hall with. The little girl was so innocent, so full of life, and had truly begun to grow on her. Isabella loved the little girl, just as she loved Esme and Carlisle. Just as she loved Edward. All day as she followed Emily around the grounds she tried to convince herself that this was a good thing. Jacob Black was who she had dreamt about for years. Edward was the only one who ever thought to actually give that to her, even though she was convinced it was hurting him to even consider it.

She could have Jacob. They could have children, which was something she had been thinking about after baby Keira arrived. She could live near Alice and be there for her father. It was the perfect life, the life she wanted before she was taken away to be married off to a man she did not know a thing about. So, all day, she also asked herself why she suddenly wanted none of that. She would give up seeing Alice, being with Jacob, and even her own chances of having a child, if it meant that she could spend the rest of her life with her tormented husband. Edward was wrong, fairy tales did not exist in the real world at all. Life was cruel.

Lunch was laid back and she held Keira so that Rosalie could have a few moments to herself. Edward seemed surprised when he walked in to eat and saw his wife by herself with the infant. Tears were in Isabella's eyes as she wondered if Rosalie, who she had come to consider a good friend, even knew what Edward had planned. He must have told Jasper last night after everything happened in their bedroom but before she found him outside. That was the only time he was alone—unless he had already sent for Jacob during those days when he refused to even speak to her.

She felt confused and wanted desperately to make him understand. She even felt horrible for pretending earlier that she would be able to leave him if he did not make things better. Now, she knew, this was just a lie she had told herself, it was her way of feeling like she had control but she now knew she didn't. Her heart was breaking.

"May I?" he asked softly, coming to sit down beside them at the table. He opened his arms to the little baby and Isabella gently handed her over, watching with caution to ensure the baby was not jostled too much. "She truly is beautiful, isn't she?"

Isabella watched him closely and she could clearly see regret on his face. There could be regret there for any number of reasons, not just the fact that she was to leave with someone else. She considered trying to comfort him again, to tell him that she was sure Garrett was beautiful too, but decided that it had not worked the first fifty times and it was unlikely to work now. So, she just smiled through her tears and nodded. "I'm going to miss her. I'm going to miss everyone here..."

"Even my mother?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow as if in disbelief.

"I love Esme dearly..."

"I do not understand how you are so willing to love. It seems that you see the good in everyone all the time. It must be..."

"Wonderful?" she finished for him, letting the baby squeeze her fingers tightly as she cooed at Isabella from Edward's arms.

"I was going to say exhausting."

"Tis not. I believe, Edward, that you love more than you know."

"So, who do you _dislike_?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"I hate the man who killed my mother...there are very few people that I truly dislike, though."

"You do not hate my Katherine? Tanya?"

Isabella was shocked at his first guess. "I would never hate her...I never even had the opportunity to meet her! None of this is her fault!"

"And Tanya?"

"Tanya grieves for her sister," Isabella shrugged indifferently.

"I do not know what all my mother has told you but...Tanya and I knew each other before I met Katherine. She is angry that I have taken a new wife so quickly...my mother thinks she may have hoped to be with me."

"Do you so hope to be with her?"

"No. She is too much of a painful reminder of Kate. They look very much the same but on the inside, Kate had acquired all of the tact between the two sisters...it was as if Tanya had none of it left for herself. They are not the same person, Tanya means nothing to me other than more lost family."

"Why are you telling me all of this now?" Isabella asked bluntly, keeping her eyes on Keira.

"I...I...apologize..." his voice trailed off. Siohban came in, carrying a plate of food for him. He thanked her and shifted the baby so he could eat.

"Have you had dessert? Siohban's cakes are delightful. Please, have a bite."

With a small smile, she allowed him to feed it to her from his fork. Of course with her luck he would start acting like a total gentleman just as she was to leave. The world really was cruel.

"Aunt Isabella! Can we play outside some more? Please?"

"Little one, let your aunt rest! She has been with you all day!"

"I do not mind, Rosalie, really."

Rosalie walked over to take her baby from Edward. "Well, fine, but I thought perhaps you wanted to spend some of today with your husband. I can keep her occupied..."

"You go too!" Emily announced, looking to Edward happily. "Please? I want to go to the field and look for worms!"

"You mean caterpillars," Isabella corrected her.

"Well, then, would you like to go Bella?" Edward asked, turning to her.

"I would like that very much."

"Come on, then. It is a rare day without rain. Let us not waste it."

~EA~

Emily skipped ahead as Edward and Isabella hung back, watching her from a distance. The field was still swampy from the night before but Edward assured Isabella that Emily had a habit of getting herself muddy...and that with a hot bath she would come clean. "It is incredible how much you feel for her, having only had her live with you for a few months..."

"I believe she was frightened when she first arrived here...and I was the first one to show her around and promise that there were no beasts to be found in my home. I guess she trusts me...and I do feel very strongly for her. My mother was right by thinking that this little girl could help me through a very bad time."

"Just as she was wrong about me helping you?"

He seemed to weigh her words for a few minutes before responding, "These past couple weeks, with you here, were good. I know they were not great for you but they were the best times I have had since..."

"I know. I'm sorry. I will not bring it up again..." she said, looking towards Emily who was currently letting a fuzzy caterpillar climb on her hand.

She turned to him and smiled, "I think she is happy. Rosalie is a good mother...and all of you of course make things even better."

"You will be a good mother, Isabella."

"Do not do that, please. Do not make this formal..."

"Were this another time, perhaps...maybe things would have been different...between us..."

"I do not have to leave, Edward."

"You do. There are many things that you have yet to experience."

"As do you."

They were quiet for a long time, just sitting on the bench and watching Emily play. A few times, Edward would run over to her and to see what she picked up, making sure it was something that was as harmless as the multi-legged worms she had been looking for. She watched the two of them interact and knew that no matter what she said or did, she had to go home with Jacob. Edward was not going to approve otherwise.

So Isabella sat there, wanting to remember him happy, like he was now. She swore to herself that when she tried to remember him, whether it be hours, months, or years from now, she would be able to remember what he looked like. She refused to remember him the way she had when he went away for those few days.

"Aunt Isabella, look!" Emily shouted, running over to her with another all black fuzzy caterpillar.

"I see, love, he is very nice!"

"It is a she!" Emily protested, as if the little girl could tell by looking at it. Isabella heard Edward chuckle as he stood beside his niece.

"My apologies, _Miss_ Caterpillar," Isabella laughed, addressing the squiggling bug.

"Can I keep her?" Emily asked excitedly, not really addressing the question to either adult.

"She will not be happy here, sweet Emily," Edward said, then looked to Isabella when he realized the irony of his words.

"But I love her!" Emily cried, giving him the best pout she could muster.

"Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to let her go. Sometimes, you have to put her needs first, even if it breaks your heart."

Isabella closed her eyes then, knowing full well he was not trying to explain such emotions to his tiny niece, his words were meant for her. Trying not to cry, she smiled sweetly to Emily, "How about we find somewhere special for her to live? That way, she can stay here in the field and she shall never be far from you."

~EA~

They were just about to meet for dinner when the creaking of the bridge could be heard from inside. Edward stood then, Isabella knew he was expecting Jacob but he also always went to check when the bridge was being lowered, just in case it was someone they did not want to welcome. Isabella followed him, her heart slamming in her chest. She hated herself for wishing, just this once, that it could be intruders. She knew, even as Twilight was setting in, that it was Jacob.

After watching him ride for years, she just simply new the man on the right was him. The one on the left seemed a little slimmer and she realized it was one of the guards from the castle. While she had been expecting Jacob, she had at least expected her father to come with him. It was not customary that she should be traveling with Jacob alone. Something was definitely not right.

Jacob looked tired as Edward stepped forward to greet him and Jacob lowered his hood before offering his hand to him. "Master Cullen," he said with authority, shaking his hand. Though the feelings she once felt for him floated to the surface, they seemed toned down. He beamed at her when his eyes met hers. "There she is. 'Tis good to see you again, Isabelle."

She walked slowly toward him and gave him a quick hug. "Likewise, Jacob."

He seemed like he wanted to say something but suddenly, she heard people behind them. Then, Esme's voice spoke up from the background. "Edward, who is this?"

Isabella was startled to think that he had not mentioned to his mother and father that this was happening. Surely, she would have known who Jacob was if that were the case. "This is Bella's friend, Jacob Black. I am sending her home, mother."

It was not lost on Isabella the way he said her nickname and she knew he had heard Jacob use 'Isabelle'.

"She is your wife!" Esme protested, shaking her head as if they had all lost their minds.

"Master Swan is ill," Jacob spoke then, throwing Isabella an apologetic look before stepping up to approach the upset older woman. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Cullen."

"Yes, yes. Now, what about Master Swan? What is his infliction?"

Isabella wondered if Jacob and Edward had this planned as a way to get Esme to back down, surely this is why Edward decided not to tell her. "There have been complications since he was brought home from here. An infection. When Edward sent for me, Charles had planned to accompany me but he is unable to leave his bed."

She felt sick. This was definitely not part of the plan. While Esme began to ask what business Edward had for wanting Jacob, she completely lost attention. Her father was the only living relative alive. Both sets of grandparents were long dead, neither of her parents had any close siblings, her mother had been taken by an evil man, and now her father was facing the same fate.

Jacob seemed to quit paying attention to the squabbling mother and son as well because he stepped closer to her and forced her to look at him. "I regret this news deeply, Isabelle. I am sorry..."

"Tis not your fault, Jacob. I had no idea..."

"We did not want to upset you, we had not heard from you and..."

"That was my fault. I should have been writing to you since the beginning...Jacob is...is my father...disappointed in me?"

Edward turned from his argument with Esme, which poor Carlisle was trying to mediate, to look at her. Jacob looked at her with sympathy, "Never. You are still everything to him. He loves you so much."

She gave him a sad smile. Esme finally quit trying to get Edward's attention and Rosalie peeked out from the door as Emmettt bellowed, "What is with all the noise?"

"Your brother is giving up on our lovely, Isabella!" Esme yelled, still unhappy.

"Mother, we should not argue this in front of her," Emmett replied.

Esme said exactly what Isabella was thinking, "You knew about this?"

"Enough, everyone, let's go inside. Siohban has prepared a meal for us and we will enjoy it. Jacob, please, do not allow my wife to hurt you personally. We were unaware of our son's decision and Isabella has grown on all of us. Please, join us for dinner," Carlisle requested, trying to keep things peaceful.

"Thank you for your generosity but I would like to prepare for our departure..."

"Tis dark, Jacob. Bella should not be out at night," Edward put in.

Jacob looked upset but turned to her and nodded, gesturing her towards the doors where everyone seemed to be walking. She obliged but purposely tried to stay close to Edward. She even sat in the same seat she usually did, right beside her husband, even though it caused Jake to have to sit on the other side next to Esme.

Instead of everyone enjoying the meal, they all ate in awkward silence with Esme questioning Jacob little by little. Just as she was warming up to him, Edward stood. "Isabella, you may sleep in the usual bedroom. Jacob, I will set up a cot for you in the weapons room."

"And you?" Isabella asked Edward.

"I will sleep in one of the other rooms. Do not worry about me."

"I will always worry about you," she said under her breath.

Carlisle cleared his throat before she could know if Edward had heard her. "Edward, I would like to discuss things with you and Jacob. I want to know what your intentions are. Both of you."

Isabella watched them, wishing beyond hope that she could hear what all three of them had to say. Esme had opened up to Jacob but she was definitely still unhappy with what was happening. "Love, will you please help Isabella prepare a cot for Jacob?" Carlisle asked Esme.

Rosalie piped in,"Actually, I would like to speak with Isabella. Emmett, will you help your mother, please?"

~EA~

The second they were in Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom, Rosalie turned to her and Isabella burst into tears. "He's not a bad person, Rosalie. He's not. He's scared and he misses his wife..."

"Shh," Rosalie rubbed her back trying to calm her. "It will be okay."

"How is it going to be okay? How? Rosalie, I worry that he will not survive this!" she got out through her sobs.

"Take me back to the beginning. What happened?"

"He was not ready. He was not ready for a new wife...Esme can not heal him with me! He misses Garrett and his princess and...and...he loves..."

"Oh, Isabella," Rosalie cooed, guiding her over to the bed. "Has he hurt you? I know that I have asked before..."

"No. He wants me to hate him, though. We have not even had...sexual...relations in the attempt to create a child! He leaves me all the time and sleeps in other rooms. Last night...he began to...to try to be with me the way a man is with his wife and..."

"Did you want it?" Rosalie asked, genuinely feeling sorrow for her.

"No. Yes. I don't know...I'm so confused..."

"Did you...did he..."

"No. He became upset and he hated himself so much so he ran. He ran to the cemetary and I went out and he was freezing and we kissed and it was...heavens it was so good and I knew."

"What did you know?"

"That I love him...and he loves me. I know it, Rosalie!"

"I do not doubt you but I still do not understand why he sent for Jacob."

"He regrets what happened last night...I think he hates himself more than he hates anyone else. It's causing him to not be able to love anyone...or at least act like he loves them. He can be so, so sweet but then something will be discussed and he turns away from me."

"What do you want, Isabella?"

"To stay."

"Then fight! Tell him that! I will go with you if..."

"My father is ill, Rosalie. That is why he did not accompany Jacob. He has an infection."

"Dear heavens, you have been struggling with all of this on your own? Have you discussed with Edward your feelings? Do you want to have a child with him? Do you want to return after visiting your father?"

"I can not talk to him. It will only hurt him to talk about having a baby and...he thinks he is doing the right thing by sending me home. I can not hurt him..."

"No. You have to tell him how you feel!"

"Too late..."

A knocking at the door jolted both of them. Edward peeked his head in. "May I come in?"

The second he stepped in, Isabella looked up at him and his face fell. "Bella..."

The sound of Keira fussing in a room across the hall caused Rosalie to throw her an apologetic look before glaring at Edward and saying before she left the room. "You better fix this!"

"Is Jacob retiring for the night?" she asked, feeling foolish and wiping at her eyes.

"Yes," he responded after clearing his throat. "Come, I will walk you to our quarters."

She followed him closely, trying to take in everything about him. He was not saying anything and he also was not attempting to fix anything. At her door, she saw that Jacob was standing in the library, studying her meek book collection. Thankfully, he had not opened any of them, particularly her composition book. "Has Edward told you the news, Isabelle?"

"What news?" she asked, turning to Edward himself.

Jacob spoke, then, taking her hand and causing her to turn back to him. "We feel that it is best that he dismisses you from the marriage..."

"I will be ridiculed..." Isabella began to protest.

"You are not unwanted, Isabelle," Jacob replied. Her heart broke for him. Had this been but a month ago she would have been squealing like a young child, happy to run away alone with him, to know that he wanted her. Now, though, now it was just simply cruel.

She responded in a way that made her feel horrible. "I am tired..."

"Of course you are," Jacob said softly. "Let me get you settled in."

Edward stood back then and she watched as he walked into his old bedroom, the one he shared with Katherine. "You are unhappy," Jacob said, "I hope that once we get back you will consider allowing me to take your hand myself..."

"Edward is my husband..."

"He and his father are going to change things. They will talk to their priest..."

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow. First thing. I want you to be able to see Charles before...well before...never mind. It is late and you look exhausted. Please, get some rest."

He stood, looking like he couldn't decide if he should hug her or walk away. He chose to leave without the contact and she did what she could to ready herself for sleep. Sleep would not come and as she tossed and turned on her tear-stained pillow, she prayed she would eventually cry herself to sleep. Instead, she thought only of Edward and how he was truly taking all of this. After she was sure Jacob had enough time to fall asleep, she crept to the door across from the weapons room and did not bother to knock.

He was not taking things well at all. Almost as if he'd expected her all along, he looked up and then back down at the book in his hand—a book she knew he was not reading. She walked over to him, neither saying a word as she sat down and slid over to him. Resting her head on his chest, she began to cry...again. This time, she went right to the sobbing. As his arms came around her, holding her close, the sobs became louder. "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry, Bella."

"Then let me stay!"

"I can not do that to you."

"How can you do _this _to me? How can you just send me off to live with another man? You are my husband and no matter what the state or even the church feels, nothing can change that."

"Your father is ill, Bella. You must go to him, regardless of whether or not you want to be with Jacob."

Guilt gripped her as she thought of her father, at home on his death bed. Edward was right, she really had no choice. "I suppose this is it then."

"No words will ever be able to express how regretful I am that you were all but thrown into this entire situation. You are beautiful and smart and innocent...any man would be a fool to not love you with all they have."

"I do not want to be alone tonight, Edward. May I please stay here with you?" He seemed to think hard about this before nodding and sliding them both down so their heads were resting on the pillows. "Is it okay that we're here, in this room?"

He looked around then, as if having forgotten were they were. "She is gone, Bella. Soon, it will be your departure that I will grieve. I feel that it no longer matters."

"What if I were to return? It will be awhile, after my father..."

"Shh, do not worry about him tonight. You will see him soon enough, Beauty. Once you are home, you will remember how happy you were there. It is with that knowledge that I am able to let you go. Sleep now, Beauty, I will be here to tell you goodbye in the morning. Isabella took the opportunity to snuggle into him.

Just as she was thinking it would be both the longest and shortest night of her life, she heard him begin to hum into her ear. It sounded beautiful and she wished for not the first time that she had been able to know him this way from the beginning. Pretending that she would be like this, with him, for the rest of her life, she felt her eyes close as she drifted off to sleep.

**On account of this being Breaking Dawn weekend, I have a few festivities to attend so I'm not sure when the next update will be. I'm aiming for Sunday, as usual, but I can't promise. As always, if your review I will send you a preview of the next chapter. If you are bored, please check out 1979 by Scorpsifer and I'm sure there will be a few tweets between now and the next chapter so follow me on twitter- letzigprincess You are all amazing and I love the support I have received from all of you! Keep it up! Letzy xx **


	9. Chapter 9

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 9**

**Final Days**

Isabella woke to the soft snoring of her husband. While they had fallen asleep with her wrapped in his arms, it had somehow turned into him wrapped in hers. His head was resting on her chest and she realized that while she slept she must have been playing with his hair. She rolled her eyes at those 'fairy tales' Edward had spoken of before. The Good Lord must have known what they were planning and he must truly hate her. This was a punishment from God. Edward was finally being the husband that she needed just in time for her to be taken away to tend to her sick father.

As carefully as possible, she slipped out from underneath him and snuck over to the door. Her efforts of not waking him almost came to a halt as Jacob stepped out of the room he had been sleeping in, causing her to bite back a surprised yelp. "Isabelle..."

"Shh...Edward is still sleeping," she whispered, taking him by the arm and leading him to the library.

"Perhaps we should be going. Your father is excited to see you and Alice is..."

"How are they not upset? I am disgracing my entire family, Jacob! Even Peter and Miss Charlotte..."

"...still love you. Edward has explained everything to me..."

"This is wrong. In the eyes of God, this is wrong! If I leave him...we will all be punished! I can not bear to bring more bad fortune to our family!"

"Isabelle, he explained that you would feel this way," Jacob said, as if that made everything okay.

"Explained? I don't understand! Explained what?"

"That you were unhappy here but you would not leave on your own accord...he was worried that you would feel...unwanted...due to the circumstances. Father Daniels _suggests_ that you return home with me. It can be over. All of this can be over."

"Jacob," Isabella began, trying to find a way to stall for time, "I need to eat before we leave and..."

"Isabelle, I did not want to let on that...well, your father is very unwell. If we do not leave now, I am afraid we may be too late. I only want you to be able to say goodbye before..."

Tears were in her eyes as she shook her head, feeling guilty for trying to stay when the few precious moments to be had with her father were ticking away. "Of course, Jacob. I am sorry..."

"Are your things gathered?"

She realized then that she had taken no time to prepare for her departure. She thought of what she had here and shook her head, they were all material things, things that could be replaced—albeit at a hefty price, but they could be replaced none the less. "I only wish to take a few things. I will get them."

She knew his eyes were on her as she walked away from him, back down the hallway to her and Edward's bedroom. Isabella looked around and decided to take only a few things. She grabbed her composition book, her new mittens, hat, and cloak, and the books Edward had brought to her from his trip. His absence was already beginning to be felt and she knew if she did not leave before he awoke, she would never have the strength to do so. "Jacob," she began, striding towards him purposefully, ready to go, "I am ready when you are."

"Isabella, it has been an absolute honor to serve you," Jasper nodded to her after helping her onto the back of Jacob's horse. "I wish for you to arrive safely to your home and I am sorry to hear of the ill-fate of Master Swan. He is a fine man."

"Thank you, Jasper. It was likewise wonderful to get to know you. Please, though, a friend of yours may need your friendship through one more loss."

Jasper must have known exactly what she meant because he nodded and then said to Jacob, "Protect her, Jacob. She is nothing less than a princess to us."

The sun was just barely coming up as they made their way over the wooden bridge. With each gallop, she felt like another piece of her heart was being left behind. Clutching the books Edward had given her, she tried to hold onto Jacob as well. It wasn't until long into the trip, right when she realized how awkward it was to hold onto both of them, that she noticed she could not allow herself to put her books into the messenger bag at her side. The irony of the idea of not being able to let Edward go so that she could hold onto Jacob was not lost on her.

She tried telling herself that she could return, that after she helped her father through whatever was ailing him, she would be free to go back to the castle. She even tried to hold out that hope as she looked at anything she could to try to remember her way back, village signs, odd-shaped buildings, _anything_ that would bring her back. They stopped a few times to visit a market for food or to relieve themselves and their horse. The entire time, trying desperately to remember what she had felt just a few months prior when she would think of nothing other than riding into the sunlight, clinging tightly to Jacob Black. Now, it felt wrong. It felt painful. It felt...fake.

**~EA~**

**EPOV **

Edward woke by himself, his head pounding and a cold chill settling in his heart. Well, the cold feeling was more returning than settling. It never went away. He tried to remember his mothers words of the dead being dead, but like always, he could not even begin to accept that. He realized he was on the opposite side of the bed as he was used to being, well, at one time he had been used to it. It didn't feel right to have Bella sleep on Kate's side of the bed, when they were in the other room, so he always slept on Kate's side. This morning, he was on Bella's side and she wasn't there. Rolling over, he felt the disappointment of being alone come rushing through his veins.

Pulling himself up, his body feeling weak, he realized he had slept the entire night in his and Kate's married bed...with Bella. Regret tore through him as he gently touched Kate's pillow, where just last night Bella had laid her head, and silently apologized to his late wife. He walked out into the hallway to use the washroom, noticing the weapon's room door was opened and the room itself was empty. Neither Jacob nor Bella were to be found in his quarters. Striding into the dining hall, his heart dropped to his stomach when he saw that only his parents were seated at the table. Jasper was standing by the front doors, a frown on his face.

He knew. She was gone. He had finally managed to push her away for good. He should feel good about it, he should feel that he had done the right thing, and he should feel relief from the guilt that he felt since he agreed to marry Bella. He had no idea what he was thinking, why he thought that it would be the right thing to do. Kate must be seething from heaven. There was just something about the beauty who was Isabella. When Father Daniels had gently tried to explain what was arranged the day she came to them, he had been watching from the chapel as she stepped out of that carriage. She was beautiful but not in the way that Kate and her sisters were. She was just...her. Selfishly, he absently agreed to the wedding while he watched his mother talk away with his future wife down below.

It didn't matter anymore. None of it did. He was supposed to live happily ever after with his princess...she was gone. He was supposed to be cooing at his three month old son right now...he was gone as well. Any decent man in his position would be sitting down to breakfast with Bella and worshiping her. He remembered that was no longer possible as well. His second chance was _gone_.

"Edward, wait!" his mother stood, walking quickly to him. "You need not be alone..."

"Do you not see, mother?" he asked, the familiar loneliness seeping in. "It no longer matters. I am meant to be alone."

"No..."

"Do not worry for me, mother," he shook his head, turning again to go back to his private quarters, back to bed...to which bed he was still unsure.

"I will always worry for you. You are my son. Please, just come and eat..."

"It no longer matters," he said again, really walking away this time.

Standing in front of the bedroom he shared with Isabella, Edward put his forehead against it and closed his eyes. He thought of all that he had put her through during her time there, everything that he had done to hurt and ridicule her. Jacob would care for her the way she deserved, at least he kept telling himself that. He had sent a letter to her young friend, explaining that she missed him and that she was deeply unhappy but unwilling to walk away from her marriage...and that if he did not come, he worried for Isabella's mental state.

He was a lying bastard and no matter how much she had said she wanted to stay, he knew it was not what was best for her. She could not thrive here. She should be able to be with someone who could love her completely, someone who could give her children, someone who she would be safe with. He had thought he was that person for Katherine and he had been sorely mistaken.

He could remember the first day they met, just as he was coming back from the annual ball. His father, the village doctor, had been sent for and so his mother had left with him. Edward promised that he would find his way home on his own. The Denali sisters were infamous for their beauty and he could remember his friends pointing them out...not that they really needed to be pointed out. They were dressed in the finest dresses with their hair tied back in the most intricate knots.

They were leaving at the same time that he was and just as Katherine's father was helping her into their carriage, he had walked past and their eyes met. It wasn't love at first sight, in fact, he thought the whole family seemed rather stand-offish, as if they were better than everyone. Then again, they were...they were royalty. Regardless, he kept walking, not having given her so much as a sideways glance-until he heard the calls.

"_Sir! Sir, please, I do not know your name! You dropped this!"_

_Edward glanced around, trying to figure out who was yelling at who as there was no one around him. He turned to see the young princess running towards him, a paper was waving in the air as she was trying to get his attention with it. She held her dress up so not to trip and she smiled when she realized he had stopped walking._

"_I saw this fall..." she panted, holding the paper with an address of a woman his mother had wanted him to meet. _

_His face turned red as he took it from her and shoved it into his pocket. "Thank you, Miss..."_

"_Katherine? Who are you speaking with? It is time to leave!" her father was calling._

"_Please, call me Kate," she smiled, turning to face him again. "What is your name?"_

"_Edward. Edward Cullen."_

"_Cullen? The doctor is your father?"_

"_Yes..."_

"_He is very kind!"_

"_Katherine! Now!"_

"_I must go. It was nice to meet you, Edward Cullen!" she called over her shoulder with a grin on her face. He watched her walk away, wondering if any one of his friends would believe that he had just ended the ball speaking to the princess._

Kate's father, Garrett Denali, hated him from the beginning. He was too young, he was too poor, he was too skinny; the only thing he wasn't in Garrett's eyes was royal. There was not one drop of upper class blood in him and until the passing of her dear father, Edward was never allowed to forget it. Kate, for whatever reason, had loved him to a fault. He had promised that he would protect her, keep her safe, let her know that she was loved, and never let her down. It was all that he had to offer her and by the time they were married and she had given him the news that he was to become a father, he truly thought things would be well for them.

He had lied to himself and he had lied to her. He was supposed to keep her from harm, he was supposed to protect her with everything he had. Instead, he had done the opposite. While she had given him a son, it had cost Katherine her life. The reward was great but the price had been too high. He sat with her, though she was completely lifeless, for a full day before he allowed them to take her body. It wasn't until then that more bad news was given to him. His baby's lungs had not been developed enough and he was having trouble breathing. He should have been with the tiny baby, not with his already gone wife. He had no idea he would have so few days with him.

From far in the castle, he could hear the cries of his new niece and the giggles of little Emily. Those sounds ripped him apart. Those sounds hurt worse than having a million swords cut through him. They were reminders of Bella, in a way. He thought of how she would look, fully pregnant. Could her slender body handle the stresses of carrying a child?

While he had not immediately fallen in love with Kate, he knew the second Bella stepped into the courtyard the day of the marriage that she was different than any other girl he had seen. The familiar cold that had settled into his bones since the loss of his family had momentarily died away. It was as if his heart was pumping warm blood through his veins for the first time in two months.

The fact that her father was ill was the only thing keeping him from not running after them, begging her to come back...begging her like she had begged him to allow her to stay. He was a selfish, heartless bastard. No wonder the heavens above hated him. Unable to be in the presence of the reminders of his son, he tried to go into Katherine's room and was unable to go there as well. There was no possible chance he could enter the room he had shared with Isabella. Bella. The beautiful girl who deserved more than what he could possibly give her.

Her birthday was only a few days away, according to what her father had told Father Daniels, and her gifts were sitting in his parents quarters, still in their boxes. Giving up on finding a particular room to break down in, he found the library couch and sank into it, despite the pain it brought him to be in there. He had to accept his fate, he had no choice. When he finally somewhat composed himself, he retrieved the gifts and unpacked them, figuring they did no good in their boxes. After dinner, which he ate in the library by himself, he went into the weapons room with a new determination. It was time to move on.

**~EA~**

After what felt like days of traveling, Isabella peeked around Jacob to see familiar sights. She tried to remember the day she left, her wedding day, and remembered her feelings of fear. Now, she felt just as scared to be returning home. She had good reason to be. They approached the path which led up to the small house they lived in and it took everything in her power to not run inside to her father. When the horse was finally stopped, she did not wait for Jacob to help her down, instead, she jumped down and grabbed her foot after landing on it funny.

Practically hopping into the dimly lit house, Isabella turned the corner to her father's bedroom and ran right into Miss Charlotte. "Sweet, Isabella! Oh my, look at you, child!"

Isabella's face lit up and she pulled the slightly chubby woman towards herself, wrapping her arms around her. "I've missed you so, Miss Charlotte! Oh, how I have missed you!"

"Still too thin but beautiful as always..." her voice trailed off and she glanced over to the closed door in front of them.

"How is he?" Isabella asked, realizing he could hear them in the hallway.

"Unwell, child. He is asleep now. The doctor has been in to see him already today. He will return tomorrow but nothing is changing. He is very ill, Isabella."

"May I see him?" she asked.

"Of course. He is expecting you."

That was all she needed. Pushing the door open, she looked down at the bed, taking in a man she barely recognized. Surely this could not be her father. He was white as a ghost. He had lost a lot of weight...too much weight. His hair was thinner and parts of his head were nearly bald. His hands were clenched and there was sweat running from his face. "Father?" she breathed.

"My...my Isabella..." he got out through his coughs.

"I wish you would have told me sooner that you were ill..."

"I wanted you...you to be happy..."

"I am sorry for what has happened with Edward..."

"What do you...mean? Jacob...he spoke with the man...on the horse. Jacob told me that he sent...correspondence to you...that you were coming here to see me..." He didn't know. Isabella was shocked. "Is he sick as well? Did he...did he accompany you?"

"No, father," she said, fighting to get her own words out. "He is fine. I came by myself..."

"Well, then...I will not keep you..."

"I am here to stay, until you are better," Isabella answered quickly.

He snorted softly, "There...is...no better. You should not have...to watch me..."

"I'm not leaving you," she said stubbornly, walking over and pouring him some water. "If there is no...better...as you feel there is not, I will be with you anyway until the end."

"This is no...no longer your place, Isabella. You belong in Seattle..."

"Seattle will be there for me after...when I feel it is time to return."

She watched as his eyes were having trouble staying open and smiled down at him tenderly. "Rest, father. I will get you some fresh water and when you awaken, I will help Miss Charlotte change your sheets."

"I love...you, Isabella."

"I know. Now rest."

Leaving the room, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it for a good many moments. Hurt for her father eventually gave way into anger with Jacob. Pushing past the kitchen, Isabella strode towards the stables. Jacob was discussing with Peter which provisions they would need to purchase for the horses on the next trip into town. "You! You...you...selfish...liar!"

Jacob turned to her, hurt evident on his face. "Isabelle..."

"Do not speak to me that way! Ever again! You have lied to me! Do you realize what you have done?"

"I have rescued you from a life of unhappiness...I have brought you home to your father..."

"You lied to me! You told me that my father wanted to accompany you! He had no idea that Edward did not want me..."

"After that guard came...the one from the castle...he explained that Master Cullen sent for me to retrieve you. He expressed that you were deeply unhappy and that returning here would be what you wanted...that there were people her that you missed...that it was what was best for you"

"It wasn't!"

"Then why did you leave?" Jacob demanded, obviously hurt and frustrated.

"My father is ill..."

"Then why did Edward lie? _He_ is the one at fault, Isabelle, not me. Do you not remember what was? I thought that...I thought that you felt for me...as more than a friend. I had to come for you when I heard you were not happy with him and that he was willing to let you leave."

Out of frustration, Isabella kicked a gate to one of the stalls and bit back tears. When she had been whisked away to marry Edward, she felt as though she was being uprooted from her family and what she had known. Now, she felt even more lost after returning to that family and having to see them fall apart. "Isabelle, please..." Jacob said gently, stepping in front of her again.

"Oh, Jacob, he will not survive this will he?" she asked, tears flowing freely. The irony with this statement was that she could say the same for Edward as well as her father. She imagined what he must be doing now and that thought terrified her. Jacob pulled her into his chest and held her tightly.

"I'm afraid not, Isabelle, but you will never be alone. We can remain here. Together."

"I am still married in the eyes of the church..."

"If you are to become widowed..."

Isabella straightened in his arms, trying to push away that thought. "I am not! He is still very much alive!"

"You are upset. I understand. Allow me to help you settle in..."

"He is still alive, Jacob," she said again, this time slowly saying each word.

"I am sorry. I am tired, too. I should not have said that...I mean him no harm."

**~EA~**

The next day, Isabella awoke and walked into the tiny kitchen. Jacob was just setting a large, wild turkey on the table and Miss Charlotte was carrying a large pile of linens and heading towards her father's room. "Bless you, child!" she called out to Jacob. "We will finally have a decent meal..."

"I will go back now. Perhaps I can get us a deer..."

"Rest your bones, Jacob! I will soon start breakfast...I just need to see to Master Charles..."

"I will tend to breakfast, mam," Isabella spoke quietly. "Just allow me to help you with my father first..."

Seeing her father in what appeared to be even worse condition nearly killed her. He was sleeping, his breathing shallow as Miss Charlotte lifted his frail body. As she did so, Isabella pulled the soiled sheets from under him and spread out the new ones. She held her breath and tried to imagine that she was anywhere else. No, that wasn't true, she imagined herself at Edward's castle.

When they were finished, they left the room and Isabella allowed herself to cry. "Times are bad..." Isabella said aloud. She meant it to come out as a question but there was no question about it.

"Verily. I do not think he will be alive much longer..."

"Tis not just him. You are having trouble finding food."

Miss Charlotte just looked away, as if her dignity would not allow her to admit it. Guilt tore through Isabella as she thought of them, her family, sick and hungry while she lived in a large castle with a surplus of food. Her expensive dresses were probably the same cost of a month's worth of meats here in their smaller, rural village. It was no wonder why her father chose Edward over Jacob, there was nothing here for her...for any of them.

"Isabella? Isabella!" Alice squealed as she ran into the kitchen and took her friend in her arms, nearly knocking Jacob over in the process while he was trying to eat. "I have missed you so!"

"Ally! I am sorry I was unable to write...things were...hard sometimes." She felt horrible for acting as though she had it so bad.

"You better not allow it to happen after you return! I am so sorry to hear about your father! He has always been so kind to me and my mother."

"How is your mother?"

"Girls, please sit and eat. Isabella, you did not make all of this food just so that it could be wasted..."

"Sorry, mam," Isabella smiled, sitting down and pulling Alice along with her.

"Eat. When you are finished, you may go for a walk," Miss Charlotte smiled.

Alice began to explain that her mother was considering moving to live with Alice's aunt and uncle in Port Angeles. Isabella gulped down her food, offering her friend a few bites, and then they took off out the door. The decided to walk to the stables to say hello to Peter. "So what is he like? Is he rich? Is he handsome? Oh, I bet he is handsome!"

"He is very much handsome. He is taller than Jacob and is a little leaner. He has wonderful copper-colored hair and the most beautiful green eyes..."

"It must have been so hard for you to leave him! I shall have to meet him someday soon!"

"I do not know...that may not be possible, Ally," Isabella relented, picking at the button on her shirt sleeve.

"Oh, piddle! Surely he will be here if your father were to...never mind what I was going to say...Peter tells me that..."

"He's going to die, Alice. You do not have to lie for me. I can see for myself that he will not make it. As for Edward and I, I fear we will not make it either."

"What? Why not?"

"It was wrong. We never should have been married! Alice, his wife passed away just over two months ago while she was giving birth to his son. His son lived until three days later when he passed away because he could not breathe normally. They were just lost and I was given to him. Verily, he was not ready."

"Jacob loves you, Isabella. He told me so himself after you were taken away. He almost left for good but when your father became ill, he took things over for him. My mother has come to rely on him just as she once relied on your father and I fear Miss Charlotte and Peter now do as well..."

Isabella could remember her father telling her that Jacob could not provide for her as Edward could. The irony of this twisted her stomach. She was just about to tell her friend that she would do everything in her power to make things better, though she had no idea how that was going to work, when she spotted a man on horseback trotting along the property line. "Alice, who is that man?"

"Oh, that is Brutus. He is the guard your Edward sent to watch over us. I suppose he has not yet received orders to leave..."

Edward had stayed true to his word. Smiling slightly to herself, Isabella hooked her arm through Alice's. "Enough with this sadness. Have you found any suitors?"

**~EA~**

The girls talked and picked apples throughout the afternoon until Isabella felt the overwhelming need to be with her father. She chose to take a book and sit beside his bed. He was awake but it was hard for him to talk so she took his hand and read to him. She read for hours, having sworn his breathing was becoming more and more shallow by the minute. There was a brief time when she left to help Miss Charlotte prepare dinner and discuss a trip into town with Jacob so that they could purchase necessities. She knew there was very little money left and so she would take three of her books, hoping they would be able to trade them.

Shortly after dinner, Isabella returned to Charles. He was sleeping again and she noticed that his sheets needed changed desperately. Finding Miss Charlotte they went to work and he woke up just as she was picking up her book to read to him again. "My darling, I fear that...it will not be much longer. You must return to your husband, to your new life. You are...safe there."

"Father, I am safe here. Brutus is watching over us and we both know that Jacob will never allow anything to harm me."

"He...is a good man. I fear...when I pass on...he shall be responsible for Miss Charlotte. Alice's mother will not be turned...away...either. Perhaps returning to Seattle...perhaps it will lessen his burden, Isabella."

She wanted to scream, to cry, to tell him that she was not incapable of caring for herself. She would make it work...just as she was helping Jacob come up with ways to get what they needed from the village. She was not some uneducated woman, unable to at least help provide for herself. "I can be of great help here, father."

"Always...stubborn. You must return to your...husband."

"I am not leaving you. Not now. Now please, try to rest."

**~EA~**

The next morning, with she on one horse and Jacob on another, they went into town in search of what they needed. The village was busy but Isabella noticed something else as well. There seemed to be a nervous tension in the air. As if the townspeople were afraid that any intruder meant to bring them only harm. These were bad times.

"Isabella, stay close to me," Jacob called as he dismounted and came over to help her down.

She just nodded and followed him into a tiny shop. While Jacob haggled with the shopkeeper, Isabella noticed that there was a man staring at her. He had blonde hair, tied back with a piece of twine, and he looked powerful. That was the only way she could describe him. Stepping closer to Jacob, she heard the shopkeeper address her and she snapped her head towards that direction. "Are you not royalty now?"

She swallowed hard, trying to figure out what the appropriate response would be. Explaining that she was but she was no longer married...nor did she have money...really did not seem to be what this man wanted to hear. In the end, they had no other choice but to give two of the three books in exchange for some bread. Tea was now going to be a luxury they could not afford.

On the way out of the store, Jacob seemed upset and Isabella frowned. It was no secret that people were watching them, including the creepy man who even followed them out. As if wanting something to distract himself with, Jacob said, "Brutus informed me that they are sending another guard from the castle. Brutus is being sent home."

"We will have to thank him before he leaves."

"I only wish there was something we could offer him..."

"I am sure Edward will make sure he is rewarded."

"I am happy that you are here with us but Charles is right. Edward has the means to care for you...I fear that I do not..."

**~EA~**

Three more days passed and Charles Swan was still holding on. Instead of sleeping soundly through the night, Isabella would wake up three or four times to go in and see to him. She made sure he had fresh water and did her best to keep him clean. Four days after their trip into town, Isabella checked on him one morning to discover blood around his lips. He had been taking coughing fits throughout the night and she knew it would not be much longer. Miss Charlotte had been with him sporadically throughout the night as well and understood when Isabella refused to come to breakfast.

She did not feel very much like eating, but when Miss Charlotte brought her lunch and dinner, she ate a small amount before setting her tray on the floor beside her hard chair. Charles was still breathing but he had not said more than a few words to her since the night before. Just after Miss Charlotte came to take her tray, she rushed back in, a concerned look on her face. "Miss Brandon and a man are here to see you."

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she walked curiously out to meet them. Jacob obviously took over the role of the protector as he stood in front of them, talking with seriousness to the man. Isabella was worried at first, then she saw who it was. She remained worried but for other reasons. This was Edward's own guard...his best friend...his voice of reason. "Jasper?" she asked, stepping around Jacob with curiosity.

**We're still depressed...I know. That is just how this is going to go for now. I do promise that things will begin to get better but we're definitely not out of the woods yet. Thank you so, so much for all of your support and feedback, it keeps this whole project going. It gives it purpose. Please continue and I'll send you a preview of the next chapter. I hope you appreciated the bit of Edward's point of view. :) The next chapter should be up sometime this week but with the holidays coming up, it won't be until later in the week...probably Thursday as a Thanksgiving treat. Speaking of, Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! **

**Oh, and how can I not add, Breaking Dawn was amazing! I can't wait to see it for the third time this week! I won't give away any spoilers for those who don't want to hear anything but I have to say that possibly my favorite part was when Bella comes out in the black lingerie to entice Edward. Rob's reaction was the sweetest, you're-killing-me reaction EVER! I could see our dear Rob doing the same in real life ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 10**

**Gone**

"Isabella," Jasper tilted his head towards her in greeting. Jacob brought his arm up as if to try to block her, though she was already standing in between them and ignoring him.

"What's happened?"

"Brutus has needed a break. I chose to come myself. I wanted to know that you are okay...that you arrived safely."

"Thank you, Sir Whitlock," she smiled a fake smile. He was lying to her about something.

"How is your father?"

"Tis not good. I fear he has but a few days left. I...I hate watching him suffer like this."

"It is hard to watch those we love suffer," he stated, unable to meet her eyes.

She realized then that Alice was standing beside Jasper and they seemed so...right. It was like they made the perfect couple—in just an instant. "Alice...it is late..."

"I know. Sir Whitlock thought my home was yours. I told him I would ride over here with him. On his horse." They way she said this last sentence made Isabella smile, her voice became higher with each word. Her friend was absolutely beaming...she had never seen her tiny best friend this happy. Ever.

"Would you like me to walk you back..." Isabella began, desperate for the details of what Alice thought of him.

Alice answered with a quick 'no' while Jasper shook his head. "I will make sure she arrives home safely. That is why I am here, Isabella."

Isabella smirked, now knowing Jasper fancied Alice as well. "As you wish. Feel free to stop by for meals...and to...talk."

He read the hidden message in her hospitality and gave her a knowing nod. "Thank you, Isabella. Jacob, will you show our Isabella into the house? I will be leaving now with Miss Brandon."

"That's not necessary," Isabella responded quickly. "I am just going back in with my father. I can find my own way."

He nodded again and turned but not before she caught a glimpse of his small, almost relieved smile. She headed into the house then, just as she heard Jacob. "If you need for anything, you just have to ask, Sir Whitlock. I appreciate the protection you are providing my family and I."

**~EA~**

"Isabella?" her father whispered, gliding his hand shakily to the edge of the bed where she had been facing.

"I am right here, father. Edward has sent Sir Whitlock to watch over us now. We are safe now. We are all safe."

"One man will not...be able to...stop the violence of a hundred."

Isabella bit back tears as her father began to seemingly hallucinate. Knowing it no longer mattered, Isabella took his hand and decided to continue this lie Edward and Jacob had her caught in. "Edward is going to take care of us, father. We are all safe."

"I love you." The tone of his voice made the tears flow freely. It was a desperate, please-believe-me statement. He repeated it three more times as she slid off her chair in order to pull him closer to her.

"It's okay, papa," she said, trying to stay strong for him. She smiled through her tears as she remembered herself at Emily's age, running to meet him when he would come home, calling him 'papa'. "You can go. I will always be safe. I love you, too. Papa, it's okay to let go. Mama is waiting for you."

It took what had to have been hours for someone to finally hear the sobs. First, Miss Charlotte found her and immediately came to her side. Isabella still had a hold of her father's now lifeless body and Miss Charlotte gently removed him from her. "He is no longer suffering, sweet girl. He is with your mother. He is happy now."

When Isabella could not bring herself to get up off of the floor by his bedside, Miss Charlotte covered Charles up as best as she could and stepped out. Moments later, Jacob came through the door. Seeing her old friend, Isabella felt nothing but concern coming from him and it caused her to sob even harder. Not caring that they were in the presence of another, not caring that it was inappropriate, he bent down and took her in his arms like a child. Without saying a word, he carried her to her bedroom and settled her on the bed.

"Sleep, Isabella. Let your dreams take you from this for a night."

"There are no more dreams, Jacob. No more fairy tales. I have lost my father much like I have just lost my husband. I live in only a nightmare."

"Tis not true. You have Alice and Miss Charlotte and...me." He said 'me' as if he couldn't believe he even had to remind her.

"I am verily sorry for this whole mess, Jacob. I loved you once. I truly, truly did but there is another. I feel that I can not even breathe without him here. Now that my father is gone..."

"Try to sleep, Isabelle. My sweet, Isabelle, I need you to rest. I will be back soon," he said with a small smile as he stood up but Isabella could see the pain on his face; her words had hurt him deeply.

Self hate and grief fell away as she gave into the blackness behind her eyelids. It felt welcoming, the darkness that would be able to take her away from all of this pain. Drifting into sleep, for the first time in her life, she prayed that she would never awake.

**~EA~**

"Sir Whitlock! I know you are out here!"

Jacob Black kicked the sides of his horse hard, desperate to find possibly the only man who knew of Edward's whereabouts. This had gone far enough. He knew his Isabelle, ever since he came to stay with them, she had a deep belief in her faith and an even more stubborn streak. There was no way, none at all, that she would allow for a marriage of her own to be absolved. She was pigheaded to a fault and he knew she would never give up that easily on her own.

Finally, he saw the blonde dismount near the stables and Jacob turned from the woods towards him. "Sir Whitlock!"

"Please, call me Jasper," the man said kindly.

Before he could consider being polite, Jacob shook his head and said what he had to. "You need to get Master Cullen. Now."

"Jacob, I am afraid..."

"No. You are not afraid of anything. Nor am I. She needs him and he will be sent for."

"I don't think he wants her there...he loves her and wants to do what is best..."

"You're a liar!"

"I am his lead guard, Jacob. I have never once left the castle for an extended period such as this. Not one time. Edward is a friend. He was all I truly had there and when he left..."

"He sent you here? What do you mean he left?"

"No. I chose to. Isabella needs someone here to look after her. I was planning to come here anyway, to check and make sure that she was safe, but when he left without word to even his own mother, I suspected the worst. He had already asked me to protect her, if something happens to her..."

"Then why isn't he here himself? Is he that much of a coward?"

"No. Most certainly not. He is not...stable."

"Will he hurt her? Physically?"

"Never. He does not wish to admit it but he does love her..."

"I don't believe you. He'd be here if he did!"

"Then why do you want him here so badly? Why? To rub salt in his already wounded mind?''

"No because she loves him. Master Charles is dead, Jasper. He has just passed."

Jasper was quiet for a long time, as if strategically coming up with a plan in his mind. "I will try to find and bring him on one condition. You never mention his letting her leave. I will not allow you to make matters worse. Swear it."

"I swear."

"I said I will try. Verily, I do not know where he is. I will also need to make arrangements for a new guardian..."

"That will not be necessary. I can protect them."

"Who is to take care of you now that Master Charles has passed on?"

"Tis just me here."

"Peter explained that with no means, you are all struggling greatly. Is that true?"

"We are...we will be fine. I can provide for them," Jacob said, his face full of determination.

"The Brandons as well?"

"Yes."

"And protect them?"

"I will do everything in my power to keep my family safe and well..." Jasper was really starting to get to him and Jacob knew he had to calm himself down.

"What if I had another plan? When will Master Charles receive mourners?"

"He will not. Isabelle explained days ago that there are no more family ties. Only the Brandons and a few townspeople will come. They will be gone tomorrow."

"Then we will bury him tomorrow..."

"No. You have to go retrieve Edward..."

"Once he is buried, something that you will do for Isabella, you will help her gather her things. Miss Charlotte and the Brandon's as well will need to prepare. Pack lightly."

"Where am I to take them?"

"Seattle. To the castle."

"All of them?"

"Verily. We have plenty of food and protection there. It is safe."

"Is this truly necessary? To take them from their homes..."

"It is a matter of time before the intruders make it here. Now that Master Swan as passed, they will come. This is a small village and in my experience, gossip and rumors will fly rampantly when they learn that Isabella has returned...they will expect her to be wealthy..."

Jacob nodded, thinking back to the day before. It hadn't been lost on him that a strange man watched them closely almost the entire time they were in the small shop...or that the owner seemed to think Isabella was much wealthier than she truly was. The stranger in front of him was right. Isabella was in danger...and so was everyone else. For not the first time, he shook his head, wondering what the hell Edward Cullen was thinking when he had sent her home. He obviously wasn't thinking. At all.

As if Jasper knew what _Jacob_ was thinking, he cleared his throat and said, "Look, I came here to try to help clean up Edward's mess. He is my friend and he's hurting. I will do what I must to help him...and believe it or not...that means keeping Isabella safe."

"I have one thing to say about your 'friend'. He is hurting mine. I respect you and what you are doing but I will do nothing that would mean helping him..." Angry, he turned to walk away.

"Then why are you demanding he come?" Jasper called after him.

Stopping, he clenched his fists, knowing full well why he was making this pathetic request. "I fear that she will not come out this without him. It is not me nor anyone else here that she wants and besides him, we are all she has."

He nodded. "We will leave tomorrow. I can not promise that he will be there, though."

"I'm not asking you to promise anything. If he is not there, I'll find him myself. I won't allow him to do this to her. It isn't right."

"I agree."

**~EA~**

The next morning, Isabella woke up with swollen eyes and a headache. Again. This time, though, she wanted to give up. The last of her family was dead. The only people she had were Alice, Jacob, Miss Charlotte, Alice's mother, and Peter. Her husband no longer wanted her, if he even ever truly had, and because of that she had lost the second family she had come to know. Miss Charlotte had been in twice to get her to wake up and eat breakfast, each time she refused. All she could do was pull her mother's blanket even more tightly around her in the hopes that she could at least pretend to be wrapped in Edward's arms.

Footsteps at her door made her sigh. "I do not wish to eat, Miss Charlotte! Please, leave me to myself..."

"Isabelle?"

She sat up, watching Jacob stand in the doorway. His eyes looked as red as hers felt and she knew that he was probably taking her father's passing pretty hard himself. "Yes, Jacob?" she asked after clearing her throat.

"Sir Whitlock feels it is not safe for us here..."

"We have no where else to go," she responded, cutting him off.

"He would like to escort us back to the castle..."

"I am not wanted there. What makes him think that my family will be?"

"Isabella, do you really believe that he does not care for you?" She knew they were no longer talking about Jasper.

"Not enough."

"So you do not wish to return. At all?"

She looked away. "Please just go, Jacob."

"Answer me, Isabelle!"

She frowned at him. "What does it matter to you? You have me right here. Why are you pushing this?"

"Because you are unhappy...and unsafe."

"I will be unhappy if taken back to the castle..."

"Then you will be unhappy either way but at least you will be safe if we leave."

"And I am to uproot everyone because..."

"...because you care about them and want them to be safe as well."

She stared at him, truly angry for about a whole minute before she just felt hopelessness. "When do we go?" she asked quietly.

"We think it best to leave soon. We will bury Master Charles first. Isabelle, I am not trying to hurt you."

"I am not trying to hurt you either."

**~EA~**

After bringing Charles to lay at rest beside his wife, the priest bid his farewells and headed home. "Isabella, are you ready?" Jasper asked softly, coming to stand beside Jacob—who was all but holding her up.

"I suppose."

She watched as Jasper walked away and she pulled away from Jacob. "I'm sorry..."

"Dear heavens, Isabelle, you have nothing to apologize for. Come on, if we do no leave soon we will not make it before nightfall. Jasper does not wish to travel with you at night."

They followed Jasper back to the house and Alice came to put an arm around her. "Alice are you sure you want to do this?" Isabella asked, sniffling a little and taking comfort in her friend.

"Absolutely," her friend smiled, though Isabella knew there were tears in her eyes as well.

"You've never been without your mother..."

"She is just going to her sisters. I think she has wanted to for a long time."

"Are you sure she is okay with you accompanying us?"

"Verily. Jasper discussed it with her," beamed Alice.

"Jasper, huh? You two are friends now?"

"He came to our home that night, thinking that you lived there, and he was so kind to us..." Despite the current situation, Isabella couldn't help but smile. "Jasper has reassured us that there is room for me there...and if I must be turned away...he will bring me back safe to my aunt and uncles so that I can be with my mother."

"Isabella, child, I have packed away what I could for you. It is all in the carriage," Miss Charlotte confirmed, pulling Isabella close and kissing her forehead.

"I wish you would come! Both you and Alice's mother are welcome..."

"My place is here, Isabella."

"It's dangerous."

"When they hear that you have returned to Seattle, I will be of no interest. Peter and I will be okay here. This will always be our home."

"Thank you. For everything. I will miss you..."

"Then you better plan a visit. I will be looking forward to it. Go now, child. Prove that husband of yours wrong!"

Isabella laughed through her tears and hugged the woman quickly again. "Alright, ladies. Alice, are you sure you have everything?" Jasper asked, his eyes narrowing on a small trunk that Alice had drug over from home.

Alice seemed embarrassed and looked down at her shoes. "That is all, Sir Whitlock."

He approached her then, a smile spreading on his face. "Thank you for packing so lightly, Alice. I'm glad you have heeded my advice. Please, remember that you may call me Jasper."

Isabella watched them with amused curiosity. Obviously Alice had been ashamed of her meager belongings and Isabella knew that Jasper understood that. Still, he said exactly what needed to be said to cheer her friend up again.

After saying goodbye to Peter, Jacob climbed up to take the reigns as Jasper helped Isabella and Alice into the carriage before climbing onto a horse himself. He planned to ride beside them, keeping watch for anyone who might mean them harm. Isabella glanced back, swearing to herself that this would not be the last time she returned. Miss Charlotte was her family and she would return to her for a visit just as she had promised.

When they were a good many minutes into the trip, Alice looked over to Isabella. "So, this is it? We are off on an adventure..."

"Tis not an adventure, Ally. You do not understand the severity of this. Edward will not be happy to have me return."

"That is impossible! Jasper has expressed that Master Edward quite fancies you..."

"Things are not always that simple."

**~EA~**

The bridge already being down at twilight should have been the first sign that something was out of place. They pulled up in front of the main doors and Jasper helped her and Alice out of the carriage. It was a matter of minutes before Esme was rushing out to greet them. "Oh, Isabella! You have come home to us!"

Receiving a hug from Esme, Isabella leaned into her and smiled. "I hope it is not a burden for you. I have returned with my friends, Alice and Jacob."

Esme seemed to throw a sideways glance at Jacob but kindly did not say anything to him. Her face lit up at Alice, though. "This will always be your home and anyone you want to have here is welcome...regardless of what my dear son thinks."

"Isabella!" Carlisle said with happy surprise.

"Hello, Carlisle, you've already met Jacob but this is my friend Alice."

"Miss Brandon is rather...impressive," Jasper added and Isabella immediately saw 'the look' come across Esme's face.

"Tis getting dark. Come, we must get you settled in for the night."

Jasper and Jacob carried their things and Carlisle lead them all into the castle. Nothing seemed to have changed, everything was in it's place but she had a feeling that her warm welcome was a little too easy for the situation. As soon as they were through the doors of her old quarters, she knew something was very, very wrong. The door to Katherine's room at the end of the hall was open and that door _never_ was. Leaving everyone else behind in the library, she walked to it as fast as she could, her need to see Edward far surpassing anything else. There was no plan for what to say to him and anticipation built deep inside of her.

She was immediately disappointed as he was not in there...and it looked as though a natural disaster had been. The bedsheets had been thrown about and the dresses that once hung neatly along the wall were on the ground. Everything was either out of place or completely broken. Standing in the midst of the destruction, Isabella bit her lip and refused to cry. The next room she checked was her own old one. There were a few things that were out of place such as a baby blanket on the bed as well as her ball gown beside it.

"Isabella? Honey, he is not here..."

"Have you seen her room?" Isabella whispered, barely able to find her voice.

"Yes."

"He's gone, is he not?"

"He left the day after you did. He never spoke a word to us of it. He just up and left," Esme responded softly.

"Come on, let us get them something to eat, Esme," Carlisle said softly.

"I'm not hungry," Isabella said with a look of apology.

"Isabelle," Jacob said, stepping towards her.

"I am tired. I'd like to be left alone."

**~EA~**

Reluctantly, everyone finally left her to herself and she entered the bedroom she and Edward shared. Sinking down onto it, she scooted over to the side of the bed he normally slept on and breathed in deeply. The faint smell of him still clung to the sheets and tears immediately began to pour. It could not be true that he was gone for good. He loved his family, especially little Emily and his mother. There was no way that he would leave for good. She lay awake, trying desperately to remember if he had ever mentioned somewhere that he would go if he would leave.

As everyone was coming past her door, she heard a knock and saw Alice peek her head in. "Do you mind if I stay with you tonight, Isabella?"

"Of course not, Ally. I am glad you are here."

"Jacob is going to sleep in the room next to ours..."

The weapons room. He had never come right out and expressed that he was a soldier but it made sense. All of the weapons, the close friendship he had with Jasper, and the way Jasper kept him updated on any wrong-doings in the community. Sitting up quickly, Isabella fought to remember the information on the criminals Jasper had often spoke of, the ones who were going village to village. Edward could not possibly be fighting against them. She tried to tell herself that but felt it was rather pointless. That would be her Edward, if he was going to do anything to help someone, it would be something that could cost him his life—oh, how he loathed himself!

"Isabella, what's wrong?"

"Alice, I must seek Jasper..."

"I will come with you! He was in the dining hall just a few moments ago! What is this about?"

Pushing herself the rest of the way up, she practically ran from the room. Alice was right behind her as they ran into the dining hall and she ended up slamming into her back as Isabella stopped abruptly. Esme was crying. "Esme..."

"Oh, dear, tis nothing to worry over. I'm just a little sad is all..." Esme said, swatting her hand in the air as if to shoo a fly.

"No, it is something to worry about," Isabella argued, crossing her arms and trying to stand as tall as possible. "I know where he is."

Jasper, who seemed to be deep in conversation with Emmett and Carlisle, pursed his lips and looked up at her. "Isabella..."

"He's trying to defend us isn't he?"

"There are rumors...yes...but he did not share with me anything of his travels. He only asked that I keep watch of you and yours."

"We have to go after him. We have to find him..."

"He does not wish to be found," countered Jasper, looking frustrated.

Isabella could not believe what Jasper was saying. "So you expect me to act as though he never existed? Are we just pretending that he walked away, never to return, and that we are okay with that? Are we to do this? Because...I refuse!"

Isabella felt Alice wrap her arms around her. "Isabella, he's gone," Jasper said with force, trying to be as careful with it as possible.

Without saying another word, she turned with a defeated feeling, and walked back towards her bedroom. Upon pushing the library doors open, she realized something that she had not when they first came in. Every single shelf was now full of books. Leather-bound, paper backs, gold leaf, and any other type of book she could possibly imagine was there. She stood in awe, looking around herself at the full shelves just as Alice came in and asked what she was doing. Surely, spinning around in the middle of a room was something sane people simply did not do.

"They were empty when I left. Every shelf but one was empty..." Isabella murmured, feeling like a knife was digging into her heart.

Unexpectedly, a male voice sounded behind her as she saw Jacob peeking out from the weapons room in front of her. "He purchased them on our trip. He had planned to give them to you for your birthday," Emmett said, answering the questions she'd been silently asking herself. Trying to remember what day it was, she realized that come midnight that night, she would be eighteen years old. Turning towards the doorway where he was standing, she saw everyone. Edward's parents, his brother and sister-in-law, and the two littlest of the family. Jasper was now standing beside Alice and she could feel Jacob walk up behind her. Esme stepped forward first, a sad smile on her face, "Happy Birthday, dear Isabella."

**Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Still sad? I know but I can make you a nice, big, fat promise. The next chapter has been written. It is ENTIRELY an Edward POV chapter. There is a little dream sequence and even how Tanya and Edward met—remember he met her before he met her sister! Things are going to start fixing themselves soon and I'm thinking this is going to be a short story...probably about 15 or so chapters. Either way, review and I'll send you a bit of Edward POV to hold you over :) You can also follow me on twitter. letzigprincess Thank you for your continued support, Letzy xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 11**

**White Knights and Black Snow**

Fairy tales. Edward tried to remember the ones that had been told to him during his youth. He would sit with his mother for hours as she recited nursery rhymes and tales of white knights and evil queens. Tearing through the woods, alone and in pain, he wondered why it was always a princess who the evil queen despised, never did the queen want the handsome prince to suffer. A sick smile took his face as he reminded himself that he wasn't a prince...he never was...not even when he was married to a true princess. Her father loved to remind him of that and even after his passing, the man was still probably having his laughs up in the heavens.

He had been at this for days, ever since the night he spent putting Isabella's books out and then discussing her protection with Jasper. Tanya Denali was still nowhere to be found. He did not understand it. She was young, beautiful, and she should definitely not be traveling from one place to another with no home. Emmett and Rosalie had expressed the want to move away from the castle, somewhere more private, to raise their growing family. He understood that. His parents had been discussing the possibility of his father becoming a doctor again—the next town over was in desperate need for a man with his father's abilities.

The castle was large, much too large for him, and this is what brought him to scour the damn country for his late wife's sister. He stopped in at nearly every village, describing her, and usually getting some sort of feedback. _Oh, yes, we remember her! Yes, it's a shame there is no man in her life...well tis a shame for her. No, she is not here but I saw her with a few of my customers. _Those were the typical responses...and so far he had no reason to truly believe any of them considering he had yet to find her even with all of their 'helpful advice'.

It was becoming dark and he was becoming frustrated, ready to give up and go home. He had brought plenty of coins with him and so he found a place available for lodging and let himself relax into the too-soft bed. This was it. Today was his Bella's eighteenth birthday and he had completely missed it. He wondered what was happening at her home right now. He wondered if Charles, possibly still sick, was sitting with his daughter as she read him stories. He wondered if her friend Alice, who he never met but already knew he liked, was visiting and eating treats with her. He wondered if this Miss Charlotte she spoke about with such adoration had made her favorite meal for dinner.

Even more painful than the idea of him not being there with her for it, was the idea that Jacob Black was. It was obvious they cared for each other and as much as she tried to tell him that she loved him more, he knew that Jacob could make her happy. Of course, being the bastard that he was, he did not know that he could leave her alone forever. Was Jacob giving her gifts? Was _he_ reading to _her_? Was he telling her goodnight with a stolen kiss? He forced himself to shut off all images of his Bella, focusing on Tanya. He had to fix this before it was too late—even though there was always the possibility that he had already lost his chance.

~EA~

"No...didn't see her, though, I wish I had..." a dirty man with bad breath and a ratty beard smirked, shaking his head at the description Edward had given him. He had decided to check around the town that he had already made it to and where he had lodged the night before.

"Do you know someone else I could talk to..."

"You might want to try Earl across the way there. Bastard always has more business than we do..." Edward politely thanked the man and left as he started to talk about the 'loose women' that were always at his competitors establishment. He was just about to go into the place when he heard commotion in an alcove beside the building. Telling himself to forget it, that it was none of his business, he heard the desperate pleads for help from a feminine voice. Edward pulled a dagger from his overcoat and held it tightly as he came down off the porch and rounded the corner.

The girl was a small brunet and that's all it took for every protective instinct he had to kick in. "Leave her alone!" he yelled to the man who was currently pinning the woman to the wall.

"Tis none of your business, foreigner!" the man yelled back, this time pulling the woman's small coin bag from her pocket.

Striding over, Edward ripped the bag from the man and threw it a few feet of way, telling the woman to leave. She hesitated a moment but when the man lunged at him and he managed to put the dagger to the man's throat, she grabbed the bag and ran. He tried to remember back to traveling with his friends, being muscle in a militant movement. He called on his training which took place many, many years ago. Before he knew it, the man was on the ground and he was over top of him. He knew with one more hard, swift blow the man would be dead but the man was currently looking up at him, wide-eyed with fear.

Edward stood then and the man slid himself backwards on his elbows a few feet. "Go! The next time you want to harm a woman, perhaps you should think about the consequences!"

When the man was gone, Edward hit the ground and fell back into a crouch. Adrenaline was coursing through his body and he debated on whether or not to try to find and check on the woman. He reminded himself of Tanya and decided that if he would try to find the harassed woman, she would probably end up even more terrified of him. After his breathing returned to normal, he went back to his original plan. His pants were covered in the yellowish soil that was on the ground, his overcoat was torn, his lips was bleeding, and he was pretty sure there were a few cuts on his face—the man knew how to fight.

Collecting himself, he stood and tried to make himself look a little more presentable before going inside to the keeper of the place. It surprised him to find a woman behind the bar. "Miss?"

Her head snapped up and a man quickly approached them from a room behind her. "We are not open..."

"I am only here to ask for help..."

"Have you been harmed?" the woman asked with sympathy.

"I am just looking for a friend. Her name is Tanya Denali..."

As soon as the name was spoken, the woman turned to the man behind her. "Irina?"

For the first time, Edward actually felt like he was getting answers. "Yes! Yes! Irina Denali is my friend's sister. Please, you must tell me where I can find at least find her!"

The man frowned. "What business do you have with her?"

"I was married to her sister who passed away..."

"You said you were _looking _for her sister!"

"There are three of them. Her other sister has passed away," Edward teared up, feeling like a coward as he tried to put up a brave front for them.

"I know where they live!" the woman said quickly, as if unable to watch his sadness.

"Jessie, that is not your..." the man began.

"Oh, hush, look at the poor man. He has lost his wife and is seeking her family!" Then, she turned back to Edward. "Irina lives with her husband just outside of town..."

Edward listened carefully to each word out of her mouth before making his way out of the establishment and back the way he came. From the woman's directions, he must have rode right past it the first time, though he tried to remind himself that he was looking for her sister, not Irina herself, this was not over.

~EA~

The house was modest but Edward could tell the person who owned it must have had more money than their neighbors. No one was out front but as he approached the door and knocked, a man demanded to know what he wanted, unwilling to open the door. "My name is Edward Cullen. I believe I was once married to your wife's sister, Katherine. Please, I must speak with her!"

The man opened the door slowly. He was tall and Edward could tell that he was foreign, and not just like him, this man was many miles from his original home. He had a strange accent and frowned when he opened the door to reveal himself. He looked like he wanted Edward as far from his home as possible. It took a lot for Edward to not reach for his dagger—just to be cautious.

The man assessed him for a good minute before asking, "What happened to your face?"

"A man was trying to harm a woman in town...he tried to fight me when I went to stop it."

"Did you stop it?"

"Yes," Edward answered, confused as to why he was asked this.

Finally, the man stood up straighter. "Love! You have a visitor!"

Irina Denali, with her curly blond hair pulled back with strands falling around her face, approached him from deep inside the house. "Edward?" she asked, remembering him immediately, her hand going to her swollen belly.

Removing his hat, Edward held it to his chest and nodded, "Irina. I trust you are doing well?"

"Verily. What brings your here?" She looked at the man who opened the door, "Vlad, let the poor man in. Come, come, Edward. I will get you some tea...and a wash rag. What the devil happened to you?"

After relaying the story to her, he sunk down on the couch beside her and let the tea cup warm his hands. "That is not why I am here..."

"I did not suspect that it was," she smirked, raising an eyebrow. "I am very sorry for being unable to return for the funeral...we were traveling far from here to visit Vladimir's childhood home. We would never had made it back in time. I trust that everything was taken care of?"

"Of course," Edward confirmed, giving her a sympathetic smile as she began to let tears fall. "She is resting peacefully now..."

"Tanya has told me of the passing of the child. I wanted to tell you that we are honored to have him named after our father, we know you and he did not always see things the same."

"He was still a good man and he loved Katherine."

"That could be said for both of you," she replied, wiping away her tears. "You still have not answered my question."

"I apologize. I am actually hear to seek out Tanya. I must speak with her..."

"Edward," sighed Irina, "do you really believe this is a good idea? She has written to me, explaining that you have been remarried to some girl..."

"Her name is Bella."

"Then why are you seeking my sister?" Irina asked, as if it was an accusation.

"It is important that I speak with her..."

"Do you not realize what that will do? We are no longer young children, Edward. She carries much hostility towards you..."

"I know things did not work out as she may have hoped...I do know that things did not work out for us but it was never_ about_ us. Irina, there never was an 'us'. There was a Katherine and I but there was never a Tanya and I..."

"Surely you remember that you met Tanya long before you met our dear Katherine."

"Of course I remember."

_Edward kicked a rock and laughed at a joke one of his friends had just made. It was hollow, though, as if he was just going through the motions. He had many mixed emotions running through him, knowing what was to come. While his brother had found a wealthy family who needed help with their fields—and he suspected Emmett had eyes on their daughter, Edward decided that tilling the ground for the rest of his life was not his calling. In less than two days he would be leaving to join the ranks of the militia. Thankfully, there was no war to be fought but still a need for foot soldiers to protect citizens. _

"_So, Edward, how are things with you and Angela?" sneered his oldest friend, Jack. _

"_Miss Webber and I have barely spoken. She is a friend. That is all..."_

"_Are you planning to ask her to the ball?"_

"_Verily not. I believe she is going with Thomas."_

"_Are you planning to ask anyone to the ball?"_

"_What is the point, Jack? I am leaving the village before then."_

"_You could always return..."_

_They were almost to his father's practice when a carriage pulled up and a girl stepped out after an older woman. Edward told his friends goodbye and headed into the building after them, not giving much thought to who they may be. Seconds later, they were seated outside of the examination room and his father's friend greeted him with a hello. They were just talking about Edward's leaving when he heard shuffling and turned to see that the girl had lost her footing and had fallen, brushing her arm hard against a wooden chair. _

_She was only about two feet from him and he immediately pulled her up, taking her arm in his hand to check that she was unharmed. "Miss, are you okay?"_

_It wasn't until she looked up at him that he even noticed her beauty. Her hair was straight and the color of wheat. Her eyes were bright as she looked up at him. "Tanya! Good heavens, are you okay?" the older woman asked, she was beautiful too._

"_I am fine, mother," she replied curtly just as Edward realized he should release her. _

"_I...I will go get my father for you..."_

_Before she could respond, he turned and walked to the back of the building to find Carlisle. He had no idea who the girl was and as he had pointed out to Jack, it was pointless to want to be with someone now. It wasn't lost on him that the girl watched him carefully as he came out and told them that his father would see to them. Her mother seemed to be eying him with suspicion, it took everything for him not to sigh and explain that he wanted nothing to do with her daughter. The mother seemed to want nothing to do with him just as much. _

_It was not until almost two years later when he would stumble upon their whole family at the ball, or that he would meet and fall in love with Tanya's sister, Katherine. Not one of the sisters, all of which were very close to each other, let on that there was more than one sister who felt something for him. Had he known, it probably would not have changed anything, though. Kate was ecstatic when she heard that he was requesting her hand in marriage, even though her father would turn him away three times before his passing, never actually seeing his daughter down the aisle. _

"So why are looking for her?"

"I have sent my Bella home to her family."

"What do you mean, you have 'sent her home'? What does that have to do with Tanya?"

"Our marriage was annulled," Edward said quietly, feeling ashamed.

Irina gasped, "How? Why? She must be truly horrible..."

"Twas I that pushed her away. Irina, it is very important that I find Tanya. Please."

"You obviously still love 'your Bella' so why, I ask again, do you want my sister?"

"There is something she wants...something only I can give. I want to give it back to her."

~EA~

Edward gave Irina a small hug after finishing his tea. He told her goodbye and promised to write once in awhile before bidding farewell to Vladamir. He finally knew where Tanya was. The sooner he found her, the sooner everything would be okay. According to Irina, Tanya was actually making the trip to visit a friend just about an hour outside of where Irina lived. His poor horse must have been exhausted and he frowned, knowing he would have to find a place to stay again that night.

When he finally found the house, it was actually Tanya who he found first. She was walking along the pathway that lead up to the house and, before she was halfway, he called to her from the front gate. She froze and it took her a few moments to turn around, though he knew she knew who it was. "Edward?"

"Hello," he greeted her quietly as she started to walk towards him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to find you..."

"Did you get bored with your whore?" she responded, trying to sound bitter but not quite pulling if off.

He looked away, opening his mouth and closing it again, knowing that nothing he could say about his Bella would change her mind anyway. "We need to talk."

"No. We do not," she bit out, turning to walk away.

He reached for her and catching her arm, turned her towards him. "Tanya, please..."

She gave a dry laugh before pulling her arm away and crossing it over her other one. "Well, look at his, I never thought I would see the day that Edward Cullen would actually decide to seek _me _out."

"Tanya, I apologize if at any point I made you feel that I was having those types of feelings for you. I loved your sister..."

"Loved? Past tense?"

His own jaw dropped open as he realized what he had just said. "No..." he quickly corrected himself, "I love her. Still. Before though, I married her because I loved her and I was unaware that you were interested as well. I never meant to hurt your feelings..."

Shaking her head, she turned to leave, "And you came all the way here to tell me that?"

"No! We have something to discuss. A proposal if you will..."

"A proposal?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at his choice of words. He wondered how everyone of these three sisters could pull this off and still look stunning.

~EA~

Tanya agreed with minor reluctance and as he lay awake on his rented cot that night, in a building full of practically homeless men, he began to think about what his family would really think. He told himself that he probably should have discussed things with them but it was too late now. He had made promises that he could not keep to two women in his life, he would not break his promise to the third.

He wondered what his Bella was doing, just one day after her birthday. Was she happy? Had she and Jacob decided to marry? That thought turned his stomach and he tried to shake his head clear. He could not consider that, not now, not after finding Tanya. Exhausted and feeling sore from the squabble earlier that day, Edward gave in to sleep.

Edward woke the next morning with his heart pounding, his body sweating, and his lungs screaming for air. He had just had the most vivid dream and he jumped out of bed, trying to decide if he wanted to shove the dream away to the back of his mind forever or revel in it. He dreamt of his Bella, not home with her father, but at home in the bed that they shared together. There was nothing more beautiful than her body, naked but covered by pieces of the blanket which exposed just enough of her skin to tease him. Most of the nights with her at the castle, he would stay awake for almost all of the night, running his hands over her skin, watching her sleep, forcing himself not to take her in a way that a husband would take a wife.

In this dream, she was unclothed, the blanket loosely around her. She was alone when he entered the room, her dark hair thrown across her pillow as her little fists clutched the blanket she was wrapped in. Her breathing was steady and she shifted a little, the blanket falling away, exposing her breasts. Edward felt like the air was knocked out of him and he could no longer resist. Stalking over to the bed, like a predator would prey on it's victim, he slid into bed beside her, still fully clothed. In her sleepy state, she reached for him, snuggling into his body as he held her.

Bringing his lips to hers, he kissed her gently and she breathed against him, still asleep. He was holding his breath, reveling in the kiss and he heard a tiny, barely there moan come from her. Her nipples were hard and her breathing was changing. He knew she would be awake in a moment but he could not stop. Not even a second later, her eyes fluttered open and looked up into his. "Edward?" It came out in wonder, in awe, and warmth flooded his entire body. He wanted her. He had to have her. Then, he woke up. The good Lord was cruel.

~EA~

Tanya was afraid to go to his family on her own but he had to check on his Bella. There was no way he could live with himself if he were to travel all this way and not make the time to at least know that she was cared for. He had been concerned and had sent Jasper and other guards. Now, before returning home, he only had to ride an extra hour in order to stop by the area that she lived in. He would see that she was safe and happy and go from there. Tanya promised to stay only one more night with her friends before beginning the journey back to the castle. He would travel for about two days, come to the village where his Bella was, sleep there one night, and then meet Tanya for their trip the rest of the way to the home.

Both nights of sleeping on his path were pretty uneventful, thoughts of his Bella and the anticipation of knowing he would be seeing her soon kept him warm from the cold, Washington weather. It was beginning to snow and he wished he would have had the means to carry all of her new clothes, that he would have been able to leave them for her, that they would keep her warm when he could not.

When he finally reached her village, he took everything in. From the small town center—which was much smaller than Seattle—to the houses and fields that branched out everywhere he looked. Smoke rose from the houses as villagers warmed their homes and ash fell along the fresh now, making it appear almost black in some spots. He had stopped to ask a shopkeeper where exactly the Swan residence was and the man frowned, looking at him strangely. Edward simply explained that he was a friend of the family, not wanting to draw attention to himself, and the man nodded. "Sad to hear what happened..."

Edward felt sick to his stomach. He knew that there was the chance her reputation could have been blemished over his mistakes but he had not thought people would verbalize it in this manner. Feeling anger, not only at the man in front of him but at himself, he said a curt thank you and climbed back onto his horse. There were two small houses that fit the description, one was before a bridge and one was after. He chose the one that was after considering it had a stable area. No one seemed to be around and as he approached the house a sick feeling began to set in again.

He watched the house closely for probably close to a half hour, waiting to see movement. He tried telling himself that he was just there to check on her before returning home to begin preparations in order to finish what he started. He tried to tell himself that he would be able to leave her now. After standing beside his horse for a long enough time that he decided no one was around, he approached the front door, looking around for any movement besides that of the horses in the field.

The door, to his surprise, was unlocked and he called out to anyone who might be home. The only word to describe the small cottage was—barren. There was nothing in it. Sure, there were tables and chairs, shelves and cupboards, desks and dressers. The issues was there were no people in those chairs, very little food in the cupboards, and as he peeked into one of the dressers to see if anyone even lived there he noticed the clothes were ragged and definitely a few years passed being worn out. About to leave and try the first house, he left the bedroom and walked past another. His heart stopped at the yellow scraps of material on the night stand.

Striding over, he picked them up and held the two mittens, one in each hand. This was her home. His Bella had been here. When he became defeated, knowing that no one was there, he hung his head and stuffed the mittens in his pockets. Isabella Swan was not here anymore. He had gotten his answer and with a heavy heart, he made his way back outside to his horse. After one last look around, he began the journey home but just as he was to the main path, a portly woman came trotting past on a horse, followed by another horse carrying a man.

"Who are you?" the woman asked him, immediately afraid—he could see it all over her face.

"We barely have enough for food for ourselves let alone our animals! Please, we beg of you to leave us in peace!" the man called.

Edward knew who they must be. He remembered being told of Miss Charlotte and the stable man, Peter. Surely they knew where his Bella was. He was just unsure of what to say to them, they must truly hate him for what he did. "My name is Edward Cullen." He watched as the woman brought her hand to her mouth, stifling a gasp.

**Well, I hope you enjoyed this one...and remember, things are never how they seem! I am excited to reveal the next chapter as I think you will all truly feel a little relief :) Send me a review and I'll send you a preview! Christag_banner created a wonderful banner for this story and it can be found on my blog, http:/ letzigprincess-disenchanted. blogspot. com/ (remove spaces) The blog itself is a work in progress, as I don't really know what I'm doing lol but enjoy the banner :) **

**You can also follow me on twitter! letzigprincess**


	12. Chapter 12

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 12**

**Assumptions and Truth**

It had been days since her return to the castle and things just felt...wrong. It was like the only way to cope with Edward's absence was to totally move on without him. Carlisle was making plans to throw himself into work and Esme was planning to help him. They even found another house outside of the village to live in so that he could work. Rosalie and Emmett were thinking about taking the kids to the country, they had other friends and family there that were offering to give Emmett work.

Possibly the biggest change was the change Isabella saw in her best friend. Alice, who was usually happy, was now absolutely beaming. Sir Jasper Whitlock was Alice's answer to finding happiness. She would be with Alice at dinner and he would come in, handing Alice a bird feather or something small he found while out on patrol. Alice had stayed every night with her in the bed she had shared with Edward. Her friend new she was hurting but there was nothing anyone could do to help her.

Jacob had joined in with the effort of Jasper and the other guards to help protect the family. He would bring her things back from his short travels as well and she struggled with how to react. She knew he was in love with her but she could just not bring herself to feel those feelings she once did for him. With every attempt he made to get her to forget Edward, she just found herself withdrawing farther into herself.

The only one who seemed to be unable to accept his absence besides her was Emily. The little girl constantly asked her if she and Edward would take her out to play in the snow when he came home. No matter how many times Rosalie would tell Emily that it was unnecessary, the little girl insisted on having a place set for him at the dinner table. Siobhan learned long ago to humor her or else they were all subject to a temper tantrum that could make the devil shake in his shoes.

Meals were perhaps the hardest time for her—besides bed time. It was when she had spent the most time with Edward and she wondered if it would be easier on her if she had stayed back with Miss Charlotte, at least then there wouldn't be constant reminders. It helped that Alice was there at night but she knew it was only a matter of time before Alice would be joining Jasper instead. Isabella was happy for them but she could not pretend it was not sometimes painful to watch unfold.

~EA~

"Isabella, eat," Jacob had begun to demand almost every night at dinner, obviously frustrated with her. Her heart panged in her chest as she thought of Edward's strange demands of her eating. He sounded so much like Edward that she got chills. Isabella knew his frustration was coming to a breaking point, though. She had yet to eat a full meal since before her father passed away just a week ago. She stayed away from mirrors, feeling that no matter what she did, she would never be good enough for Edward. She would never be blonde, tall, or a Denali. Instead, there were dark circles under her eyes—which were usually redder than normal, her hair was thinner than it had been, and her clothes hung on her. The feeling of abandonment flowed through her constantly and every day it was harder to get up in the morning.

One afternoon, she was sitting at a table watching Emily work on shading in pictures Isabella had drawn for her when Jacob walked in. "Would you two like to go outside for a little while. We can make snow people."

Shivering, Isabella pulled her warm dress closer to her and looked at Emily. The little girl scrunched up her face. "Snow people?"

"Of course. Have you seen a snowman? We could make a whole family!" Jacob said cheerfully.

Isabella realized that this was probably the first winter that the little girl might actually remember. Of course she wouldn't remember making snowmen if Emmett and Rosalie had taken her outside to play the year before, she was far too little then. "Can we Bella?" she asked, bouncing in her seat excitedly.

The nickname pulled at Isabella's heart, Emily had picked it up from Edward before he left. "Of course. Let me gather our warm clothes."

As she stood, she asked Emily to go tell her mother that Isabella and Jacob would be taking her outside. Jacob came over to her when Emily was gone and gave her a hug. The second his arms came around her, he frowned. She felt him touch her back and then make his way to her waist. While it may have been inappropriate, it was in no way sexual. In fact, he was disgusted. "You are not going outside. Alice and I will take her."

"Why not?" Isabella demanded, backing away from him.

"You are wasting away! Do you feel yourself? Give me your hand." Placing her hand on her side, just so she could touch her rib cage he got in her face. "Bones. Hard bones is all you can feel. It is far too cold for you to be outside with nothing to keep you warm..."

"You are not my owner. I may do as I wish!"

"If you wish to starve yourself you can do so without me being around. I am tired of watching you like this! I demand that you eat. Now."

"I am not hungry!"

"You lie!" Allowing herself to cry, something she only did now at night when Alice was dreaming about Jasper, Isabella started to walk away from him. "Where in the devil are you going?"

"To get my cloak!"

Isabella returned, ready to brave the cold, to find Jacob talking closely with Jasper and Xander. They all became silent as she slowly approached them. "Isabella, if you wish to take Emily outside, you may. We will be out shortly," Jacob said, a strange expression on his face.

"What is happening?" she asked, knowing he was keeping something from her.

"It is nothing...right now. Please, take young Emily out and I will be there soon."

She gathered up Emily from her parents quarters, cooing at baby Kiera before taking her big sister by the hand and leading her outside. There was about two feet of snow and Emily skipped happily into it. The cold was so bitter it hurt Isabella's bones. "What do you want to do out here?" Isabella asked. "Jacob is going to come out a little later and we can make our snow people then."

"Can we go for a walk?"

"Where would you like to go?" she asked, taking Emily by the hand and leading her to the snow covered paths.

"Can we visit Aunt Kate?"

Isabella froze and Emily turned to see why they had suddenly stopped. "Why do you want to visit Aunt Kate?"

"No one visits her or baby Garrett. When Uncle Edward comes home, he's going to be upset. I want him to stay."

Isabella dropped to her knees and pulled the little girl close, "Why do you think he left, Emily?"

"We got mad at him because he still likes her and the baby and grammy said that is why you left and he got really sad." Isabella watched as Emily began to cry, eliciting tears of her own. "I did not want him to leave. I did not mean to make him sad..."

"Emily, look at me, you did nothing wrong. He loves you very, very much. He told me that himself! He would never leave you because of something you did. Nothing you could possibly do would make him leave you."

"Momma told papa that Uncle Edward loved you! Why did you leave?" Emily was sobbing now and clinging to Isabella.

"It is too hard for you to understand. Some things are just more complicated than we can explain. I did not leave to hurt him, honey."

They sat that way for awhile before Emily pulled away and Isabella wiped her face of tears so that they would not freeze. "Do you still want to visit your Aunt Kate and the baby?"

Emily nodded and took her hand again. "I missed you too, Bella."

"Aw, Emily, I missed you a lot as well." When they came to the small cemetery, Isabella could see that Emily had not been lying, there was not one set of footprints to the tombstones.

"He's going to be sad," Emily whispered.

"No. He's not. Come on, Emily. We need a shovel."

About an hour later, though they were both dripping from the melting snow and laughing at how each other looked. Stepping back by the gate, Isabella looked at the cleared off cemetery and smiled. "Let's get inside before we catch our death out here."

On the way back, Emily actually skipped to the front of the castle, still having to hold onto Isabella's hand because the snow was up to her knees. "Do you think he's going to come home?" Isabella asked Emily, not really expecting a serious answer.

"I don't know," she shrugged innocently, "but it makes me feel better when I pretend."

"Me, too," smiled Isabella.

~EA~

"You never met us..." Isabella began, seeing Jacob standing near the bridge, he seemed tense.

"I checked to make sure you were okay...you seemed...happy. Carlisle would like to speak with you. He's in the dining hall."

"Please tell me what is happening. I know..."

"Isabella, I do not wish to make false promises. Please, go in and talk to Carlisle. Get warm."

"Is it intruders?" she asked, her heart beat speeding up.

"Tis nothing to worry over, Isabelle. There is never anything to be afraid of. I will protect you."

Giving him a small smile, Isabella walked away. Carlisle was sitting at a table in the dining hall, an apple and some cheese sat in front of him. "Emily, dear, run and find your mother. You need dry clothes."

Isabella watched her skip off and bit her lip, coming around to sit across from him. "Isabella, remove your cloak."

She looked up at him, surprised, but did as he requested. He looked at her long and hard before nodding his head. "I want you to sit and eat both the apple and all of the cheese..."

"I'm not hungry..."

"You are starving yourself." He said it as if telling her there was snow on the ground.

"Does it matter?" Isabella demanded of him, suddenly angry.

"Yes. It does. Isabella, he would not want you to be this way!"

"_He_ is not here!"

"Then think of your father! Do you think Charles would want to watch you waste away?"

She started crying again and stood up. "I do not want to be here anymore. I am constantly reminded of my not being wanted. My husband has done nothing but beg me to leave since the day we were married! Now he has left for good! I am tired of being told what I want. I mean no offense to you or your family but I have had no choice in any of this!"

"Then you need to be given choices and your health is the first! Only you can keep yourself alive, Isabella. I can not force you..."

Isabella felt faint and she leaned against the back of the chair in front of her to keep her balance. She opened her mouth to protest when she heard it. At first all she could hear was Jacob's voice, loud and accusatory coming from outside. The next voice nearly broke her completely.

"Where is she? Is she here? Jacob?" Edward. It was Edward's voice. Edward was home. "What's happened? Please, answer me!"

"She's here. She's inside. You probably will not even recognize her as she is barely still living! She will not eat and she barely sleeps..."

"Isabella? Bella?" Edward called, his voice becoming closer. She wanted to go to him but she could not. She wanted to fall to her knees and sob but she could not. So she stood frozen, her heart nearly beating out of her chest. "Bella."

This last one came out as if he was in awe that she was in front of him. "Dear God, Isabella..." he strode towards her, "how come you have not been eating?"

Anger flowed through her, helping her to move freely. She had waited for him to return, her heart had bled for him, her father had just passed, and the only thing he could say to her was that. Gritting her teeth, she grabbed the apple from in front of Carlisle. Instead of eating it like they expected her to, she pulled her arm back and threw it at him. In her angry state, she had horrible aim and it ended up hitting the wall a few feet away from him. She was shocked with herself, and she was sure he was just as surprised.

"Father, please leave us."

"I do not know if that is for the best..."

"I beg you to leave."

Reluctantly, Carlisle stood and walked away. When they were alone, Isabella felt the anger melt away. She took one step towards him, preparing herself to take another, when she watched him begin to stride quickly over to her. She stood, still slightly shaky, as he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Isabella was just about to relax, to tell him she was sorry as well, to tell him she was glad he was home, to maybe even kiss him, but the doors to the outside flew open. Jacob came in, carrying a large sack, followed by Xander and Jasper, who each had one as well. "Your poor horse," Jasper muttered, dropping the thing in the inside of the door.

Edward stepped between them and Isabella, as if he wanted to protect her from the outside world but Isabella soon heard a voice, it was one of a woman—the familiar voice of a very beautiful woman. "You may set them wherever for now...thank you, gentleman. It is good to finally be home. For good."

Isabella tensed in his arms before shoving him away from her. "How could you?" she whispered, looking up at him in shock. "How can you do this to me? How can you tell me you are sorry? How can you..."

"Bella, please, just listen to me..."

"Don't touch me!

"He's home!" Emily practically screamed, her voice interrupting Isabella. "I told you, Bella! I told you if we visited Aunt Kate he would come home! You were right! He does love us and he did come home! We do not have to pretend!"

Edward seemed to stand there, guilt still shadowing his face as he tried to smile at the little girl who had flung herself at him. He watched Isabella painfully until Rosalie and Esme joined the crowd. Both of them immediately went into protective mode. "Edward, what is all of this?" Esme demanded. Isabella had never seen her so angry.

"I have brought Tanya home. She belongs here," Edward said as calmly as possible.

"How dare you leave us like you did! You could have been dead three times over and not one of us would have known!"

"Mother, I am sorry..."

Isabella had trouble focusing on the situation at hand. She could not take her eyes off of the last, single Denali sister. He had replaced her. It had happened that quickly. She briefly wondered if this was possibly his plan all along. Feeling extreme exhaustion rack her body, Isabella silently made her way away from the crowd and back to her bedroom. Unable to keep thinking, her stomach in absolute knots, she curled into herself as much as possible. Too tired to figure out what was happening and too tired to even cry, Isabella clutched the blankets and fell asleep.

~EA~

Dressing in clean clothes, Isabella found the trunk Jacob had carried in for her and began to pack her dresses. Setting the clothes Edward had purchased for her on the bags they had come in, she wondered if it would be unreasonable to take the cloak, as it was the only one she had. Deciding that it was her determination, and no one else's, to leave all the gifts that Edward had given her, she would take the cloak. His new wife could have the rest.

When she felt that she was significantly packed, she took a deep breath and walked out the door. It did not really surprise her that Alice had not joined her the night before as Jacob had probably told her he wished that everyone would leave her alone. Throwing the door open, she went to step out when something hit her legs. Not a something—a someone. Not just a someone—Edward. He stood quickly, running his hands through his completely untamable hair, his eyes were bloodshot.

"Bella..."

"What are you doing outside of this door, Edward?" she asked, completely tired of dealing with him.

"I wished to speak with you..."

"Then why did you not just come in?"

"I felt that...that it was inappropriate."

"I think we are far past what it means to be appropriate. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

"No. I will not. You must listen to me."

"You would not listen to me, why should I have to listen to you?" Even Isabella was surprised with her tough exterior, she felt like pudding inside.

"Because I plan to try to make you listen to me everyday. Forever."

She scoffed, "Now you want to keep me here? What? Would you like to have me living in your Denali princess's shadow?"

"Katherine..."

"I am not speaking of your late wife, I am speaking of your new one."

"You misunderstand..."

"Isabelle, is everything okay here?" Jacob asked, coming out of the weapons room, obviously just having woke up.

"Everything is fine, Jacob. I would like to speak with Alice. I wish to return home before nightfall tonight..."

"Bella, please, just let me talk!"

"I am not strong enough for this, Edward. Please understand that."

"You are strong! You are stronger than any woman I know..."

"Edward, you have done nothing but upset her!"

"Don't," Isabella said, turning to her friend, "I beg that you both leave me to grieve for my father. I will be going out for a walk. Jacob, please discuss our leaving with Alice."

Not giving Edward a chance to say anything else, she pushed past him and made her way outside. She had no plan as to where to go, it just felt good to feel like she had freedom. It was not until she came to the cemetery gate that she knew where she _needed _to go. Gently unlocking the gate, she sat down on the ground in front of Katherine's tombstone. The snow cushioned her though she was happy to see that it had also stayed the way she and Emily left it the day before.

She had felt like she wanted to say something to Katherine before but there were no words, now they seemed to pour freely. "Was he always like this?" Isabella asked, demanding an answer from a cold grave.

Deep down, she knew as soon as the words were out of her mouth, the answer was 'no'. "No, he was not. No, he was probably happy. He loves you, Kate, and he was probably so excited to start his life with you and your baby. I should have known that I could never compete with you...or your sister. Now, he expects me to watch him take Tanya's hand in marriage and act as though I am happy for him!"

She shook her head at the insanity of all of this: talking to a stone and having to watch her husband marry someone else. "I guess the worst part is that I am happy for him. He deserves that...he does not deserve someone with so little to offer such as myself. Please...if you are up there...if you are looking after him...try to let him know you are happy for him as well..."

Tears were pouring down her face now, it was time for her to tell Edward Cullen goodbye. It was time to walk away from him and not look back. It was time for her to not look back and not plan to again. She would go back to the castle and find Jacob...he was who she was meant to be with, not this beautiful, tormented, wealthy man. She debated on whether or not to tell Katherine goodbye, but figured she was already crazy for even reasoning this out by saying it out loud to a dead person.

Gathering her cloak, she carefully stood up, wiping tears from her eyes as she did. The second she turned around, she froze but held her head high. "Have you been there long, Master Cullen?"

"Long enough to know that I have verily done things which have confused you..."

"Do not mock me..."

"I am doing no such thing. You are confused."

"Then go ahead. Enlighten me. Tell me what you so badly have to say. Tell me that you plan to marry Tanya. Tell me that you did not expect me to be here upon your return Tell me that I may stay if I like because you feel sorry for me and the loss of my father."

"Are you finished making your assumptions?"

"Are you finished with me?" she asked, proud of herself for staying strong.

"Never."

"Do not do this. I beg of you. If you do not care that I am here, then please allow me to leave because I care for you much more than I should and you are only hurting me by keeping me here...by pretending."

"You are shivering," Edward said, stepping a few feet closer to her before stopping to pull something from his pockets. Her yellow mittens. "I am sorry to hear about your father. I should have been there with you."

"Why do you have those? Where did you get them?" she asked, the foundation of her resolve now shaking.

"I stopped at your family home..."

"Why would you have done such a thing? Why...why would..." she found that she was having trouble breathing. Was it possible that he had actually done so to make sure she was okay?

"Tanya Denali is the rightful owner of this estate, Isabella. Legally, the state may believe it is I, but morally, I believe it is her."

"I do not understand what this has to do with my mittens, Master Cullen," Isabella replied.

"When you left, I was going to go back to the military. The Lord knows they need help with all the violence these times have caused. I was lying to you this entire time and for that I will never forgive myself. I also will never expect your forgiveness.

"I worried for you and your family so I made arrangements with Jasper to keep watch over you in my absence. When you left...when you left I believe my entire family hated me...and I can not say that I blame them. I overheard my father discussing the possibility of him and my mother moving so that he could resume his doctoral duties. Emmett and Rosalie were only here for a few months to make sure that I was okay, they never planned to live here permanently and do not plan to do so now.

"My mother told me once that she was worried I would not return from one of my trips and she knew...oh, my mother knew...that I..." he looked away then, shaking his head before starting again. "So I knew she did not expect me to stay here and I also knew if I told her of my plans, she would become upset. She never particularly liked Tanya."

"She is not the only one," Isabella said dryly.

Edward ignored her. "I realized that as long as I stayed here, the memories of what was would rip me apart if they did not succeed in killing me first. I no longer had only two people to remember, I had three. As long as I remained, I would see my Kate, writhing on our bed in pain. Not the natural pain that came with labor, the pain that came with knowing she was not going to be around to watch her child grow old. I would see my Garrett, my beautiful little boy, fighting for each breath as I watched his body fight to stay alive in my arms.

"Bella," he stepped closer to her, "I would look out into the courtyard every day and be reminded of the first time I saw you. I was watching you, that day they brought you to me, as you stepped out of the carriage. You were so beautiful, so...innocent, and I knew that I would hurt you but that I was too much of a selfish bastard to turn you away. For the first time since my Katherine left me, I felt...hope.

"I thought Katherine would hate me for taking you in so soon after she passed. I felt guilt over the fact that her body was out here, not even yet dissolved into the cold ground, and all I could do was lust after yours. How I treated you, though...", he shook his head again, "would make her hate me even more. She was good and kind and loving. I was cold and heartless and a fool. In a way, maybe I now believe she sent me you.

"Regardless, I only went in search of Tanya because soon it will only be me living here and I can no longer live with the reminders of those who are no longer living. I understand now what my mother was trying to say. Just because I lost my Katherine, does not mean I have to lose myself. Kate would not want that anymore than my family would. I was such a fool..."

"Edward, I still...are you planning to live here? With Tanya? I just want an answer!" Isabella whispered, feeling slightly faint at his admissions—her head was reeling as she tried to figure out what he was trying to say.

"No...I planned to make an agreement with her. I would seek her out—make a deal with her that she could have the estate if she awarded me enough money to start a home of my own...if she would allow me just enough to get back into work."

"Why would you need a home if you were to become a soldier?"

"I had hoped, perhaps pretentiously, that I would someday soon have a wife to give shelter to..." his voice trailed off. "Tanya accepted my bargain and that is why she is here."

"Why were you in my home?"

"I wanted to know that you were safe, I wanted to see if Jacob had replaced me, and if not...if not I was going to return to the castle and settle things here..."

"And then what, Edward?" Isabella asked, stepping closer to him, silently begging him to say what she hoped he would.

"And then return for you, the only girl I will ever risk for this one last time."

Isabella did not know what to say, she was truly speechless. Shivering a little again, she swallowed hard, trying to figure out what to say. Edward closed the distance between them. Holding a glove out and open to her, he smiled, "Regardless of the outcome, we should get you inside where it is warm. Here, put these on."

She slid one hand in and asked, "So you were not going to marry Tanya and live here happily ever after?" He shook his head, laughing as if it was the most ridiculous thing he could have fathomed. She smiled and just as he went to slide the other glove onto her hand, she looked him in the eyes and asked a second question. "You said your mother knew something. What did she know, Edward?"

Her hands were now gloved and he held her hands in his. "That from the day I met you, I knew I loved you. That from the day I first knew I loved you, I would love you forever."

"Why could you not give into this before you sent for Jacob to come take me away?" she asked breathlessly.

He looked as if he had been expecting this and sighed, "Somethings are just too complicated to explain, Bella."

She smiled up at him, remembering that she had said almost exactly that to young Emily just the day before. "Where do we go from here? Tis too late to claim we are still married..."

"Then I will court you, if you will allow me to. As I said before, there is nothing I can do to fix all that I have destroyed between us, but I will try for as long as I love you...which I have also said before...will be forever. If you hate me enough, though, I will walk away now. I will allow you to return home and I will make sure you are provided for. The choice is yours, my Bella. I will never force your hand again."

**I want to send a thanks out to Anna, you know who you are, for all of your help and kind words! I am expecting mixed reviews to this chapter but I definitely want to hear them. I am struggling with the next couple chapters and your opinions could definitely influence and help me out :) Please send me some reviews, and as always, I'll send you a preview of the next chapter! You can also follow me on twitter letzigprincess.**

**For anyone into the whole Post Secret thing, which I LOVE, please check out the Twilight Post Secret Challenge! For those who are unfamiliar with Post Secret, I recommend you check out at least the prompts to get a taste of what it is about. Voting begins on December 2nd! There are a lot of great stories on there! http:/ www. fanfiction .net /u / 3219624/ TwiPSChallenge (remove spaces)**

**You all inspire me! Lots of love, letzigprincess xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 13**

**Given the Choice**

There was no sound and, though they were outside, Isabella felt like all the air had been pulled from her lungs. Was this really happening after all of this? Now? Now he was choosing to tell her that he cared for her? She felt dizzy...and he was so, so close to her. All she could feel was his hands on hers and all she could see was his eyes. There was no way she could make an unbiased decision on anything when she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms."Edward..."

"Isabelle?" Jacob called from the other side of the gate.

The moment between her and Edward was immediately gone. The look of broken-hearted doubt was back on her prince's and she just felt cold as he had let her hands go. "Everything is fine, Jacob. Thank you for checking on me but your worries are unwarranted. Master Cullen means me no harm."

She couldn't quite here his response but she could have sworn he said something about harm already being done. After he walked away, she finally went to tell Edward what she had to say when he took her by the arm. "Let us get you somewhere warm."

She just nodded in agreement, feeling the cold down to her bones. Edward glanced back as they made their way to the gate. "Did you do all of this? I was expecting to come home to a mess out here."

Isabella glanced back at the gravestones. "Actually, Emily and I both did. We both missed you."

When they entered the castle, everyone was sitting around the dining hall as if not knowing what to do with themselves. Wanting time to think, Isabella just smiled weakly at them and went back to the library. Edward, bless his tormented heart, let her go. Plopping down on the couch, she leaned her head back and tried to think things through. There were so many reasons to take Jacob's hand and leave Edward forever but not one of those reasons were good enough for her. When Edward rejected her, she felt like she was being ripped apart. Now that he was back, the idea of losing him a second time terrified her.

A knock on the door sounded a few minutes later and both Alice and Rosalie came in carrying a tray. "Edward wanted us to bring this to you...he was afraid of flying apples," Rosalie smirked. "You really threw an apple at him?"

"Yeah...I reacted unfairly. I was just..."

"Angry?" Alice finished knowingly. "Isabella, I'm sorry for...for not being there these past couple of days...I know my attentions have been elsewhere..."

"Alice, there is no need for you to apologize. I see the way you and Jasper look at each other. You are in love."

Alice looked down at her feet and blushed. "He has proclaimed his intentions to me but he is unsure of what Edward will think..."

"You tell Jasper that Edward has no say in this. If he cares for you, it is only fair that he should get to be with you."

"Well, we're all going to be a little scattered now I think," put in Rosalie.

"I heard that you are wanting to move?"

"Emmett and I want more children and Emmett does not take well to having someone else care for us the way that Edward has. We are very grateful but we think he's going to be okay on his own...he no longer needs us."

"He will always need you, Rosalie. He loves you all very dearly."

"We know. He also loves someone else in this room very dearly. How are you with all of this?"

"Confused."

"I feel horrible for what has happened...I know things would have been different if you came into his life a little later..."

"He told me he loves me, Rosalie."

Alice squealed with delight as Rosalie just frowned, knowing that Isabella was now completely unsure of what to do and said, "I'm sorry..."

"When I first met him, I think I already loved him. It happened in an instant. Now, he is being who I needed him to be and I am verily afraid that it is too late. What am I to do? Continue at always being the girl who comes in second?"

"If you came in second, you would still be at home without any protection at all. I have known Edward for awhile and he seems to be finally coming to his senses. You must do what you think is right for yourself but if you believe that what is right for you is what is right for him as well, maybe things could work out."

"I do not know what to say but he is right. I deserve to make this choice on my own. I have to do what is right for me."

"What _is_ right for you?"

"I have no idea," Isabella sighed, looking down at the tray of food.

~EA~

Isabella ate some of the food on her tray and just an hour later, when Siobhan came to tell them lunch was being served, Isabella went into the dining hall intent on eating whatever it was that had been prepared. She was surprised to find that her appetite was returning and she credited it to the hole in her chest being not so distracting. She missed her father but tried to remember he was happy up in heaven with her mother and his family. Miss Charlotte came to mind and she contemplated what to do about traveling to see her. That was pushed to the side when she approached her typical seat and Edward stood immediately, pulling her chair out for her.

This was sweet but it was also wrong, her heart was breaking to think of the formality now between them. Glancing over at Jacob, she was surprised to see him staring at something behind her. Turning in her seat, she found that Tanya was strolling to the table, chatting idly with Brutus. Jasper and Alice walked in together then and Alice smirked at her before sitting beside Jacob. Jacob frowned and Isabella couldn't help but laugh at his defeat. So, Jacob was eying up the newest resident. She did not know how she felt about that.

"Isabella, how was your day today?" Edward asked, completely formal, as if trying for gentlemanly. Isabella wanted to roll her eyes at him, that attitude did not suit him at all...and she was glad for it.

"Master Cullen, please, you have not been away quite that long. I still prefer that you call me Bella."

Edward smirked as well then and nodded, tying again. "Bella, I trust your day is going well."

"Today was much more agreeable than the past few...aside from flying apples...it seems my loved ones are all safe. Now would you please pass me a roll of bread?"

"If I were to hand it to you, will it come back at me?" he asked humorously, raising an eyebrow.

"That is a chance you will just have to take, Master Cullen."

"You have not been away quite that long, either, Miss Swan."

"Sorry, Edward..."

Their playful banter continued for a few more seconds before Carlisle cleared his throat and they both finally looked away from each other. "I am glad to see the two of you are no longer throwing food," he chuckled, "but we have found a small home not far from the office I will be practicing in. I would like to go visit tomorrow...along with your mother. We plan to move in the next few days."

"Of course, father. You and mother have done more for me that I can repay. I will send protection with you and we will discuss with the guards sending someone with you permanently." Isabella studied his expression carefully, he was happy for them but she could see he was not totally happy about them leaving. He was not mad, it was more like he was afraid.

"Edward and I have agreed that no one really needs to leave," Tanya spoke up. "I understand that you consider the castle home right now. Edward and...anyone who chooses to stay here...will always have a place here. My sister would hate me if I treated any of you any differently."

Edward frowned, staring down at his food and for the first time since she'd arrived, Isabella watched as he barely picked at his own food. "Edward, I need to speak with you after dinner," Jasper said, coming to stand behind Alice.

"Please, join us, Jasper. There is plenty here," Edward smiled warmly to his friend.

The rest of lunch was pleasant and once everyone was finished eating, Emily climbed into Edward's lap and took a bite of his pie. As Isabella stood to help Siobhan clear the dishes, she heard Emily telling her uncle of their time outside the day before. Unable to bring herself to see Edward's face at the mention of Katherine, she gathered up as many dishes as she could and followed Alice out of the room.

"I think he is sweet, Isabella!" Alice chimed as soon as they were out of ear shot.

"He can be."

"And he's very good looking."

"Yes, he is."

"And he's very..."

"Intense?" Isabella finished for her, even if that was not the word her friend planned to use. "I know. I do not know if I can do this, Alice."

"Would you rather be with Jacob?"

"No. I would not. I feel different when Edward is near. I just do not understand that feeling..."

"You seem _happier_."

"I _am_ happier."

"Oh, Isabella, you love him. We both know that..."

"How long until he sends me away again, Alice? How much longer will it take before he starts remembering Katherine and everything goes back to the way it was before?"

"Well, no one can make this choice for you. No one is going to force you back into a marriage...no matter who it is with. I love Jacob but I really think that Edward loves you as much as Jacob does."

Isabella opened her mouth to respond but Jasper came barreling in, "Ally!"

"What is it?" her friend giggled.

"Everyone agrees. I only wish to speak with your mother first..."

Isabella watched their exchange and could not help but smile. She had never seen either of them this happy. "My mother will be happy," Alice replied knowingly.

Taking Alice's hand, Jasper kissed it, and then went for her cheek—and then her lips. Isabella blushed, looking away from the display of affection. With that, Jasper walked back out and when she turned back around, Alice was gaping at the doorway. "Breathe, Alice," laughed Isabella.

"I can not and that is okay with me," beamed Alice.

~EA~

Once Siobhan got tired of her trying to help, Isabella went back to the library to try to think things through. After sitting down with the journal that Edward had bought her, which was still completely empty, she thought of what to write. Putting the quill pen to the paper, she was just about to write her first word when she heard movement from the room that Edward had left a disaster. Creeping quietly back towards it, she peeked around the door frame and saw him. His back was to her and he was sorting through the debris. The bed was covered with folded clothes and the broken pieces of wood were being stacked by the broken desk. He had his hands in his hair and she did not know if she should approach him or walk away.

He turned suddenly, his arms still up in desperation, and he took her in. "Isabella..." he said, obviously embarrassed.

She did not know what to say, so she pointed to the broken desk and gave a small smile. "Did you two get into a fight over nicknames as well?"

"I was so foolish," he muttered, shaking his head. She wondered if he intended for her to hear it. "I suppose I need to clean this up before night time. Did you have Jacob light the fireplace in your bedroom the other nights? You must have been cold."

"No. I managed on my own. Edward, I am not a child."

"I never meant to imply..." he shook his head again and went back to picking things up off of the floor.

Wanting to change the subject, she spoke a little louder to get his attention back. "Have you heard of Jasper and Alice? I believe they are considering marriage?"

"They seem happy. Jasper is leaving the castle as well, he and Alice are considering going back to Alice's childhood home in Forks."

"I missed you, Edward. I am glad you are back."

"I have made a mess of things haven't I, Bella?"

"Verily," she said dryly but with a smile. "I need to go see if Rosalie would like help with Emily this afternoon. I will see you at dinner."

"Of course."

Isabella left him to pick up the pieces of his broken past life and decided to find Emily. The little girl always managed to cheer her up and she would miss them when everyone decided to go their separate ways. Rosalie was rocking baby Keira and Emily was pouting when Isabella entered their private quarters. "What's wrong, little one?" Isabella asked.

"She wants held and Keira is fussy...and Emmett is outside with Jasper..."

"May I?" Isabella asked, walking over to them and holding her arms out.

"Of course. I warn you, she's not very happy at the moment."

"Oh, baby, what is the matter?" Being in the arms of a new person got the infant to look up at her, confused for a moment. Isabella began to coo at her and dance around a little. The baby giggled up at her and Rosalie took Emily in her lap.

"One of my uncles is willing to give us a nice plot of land near our old home. It is big enough for stables and a respectable field. Emmett has spoken with a few people from the village where it's located and everyone seems happy to have us back."

"When are you guys leaving?"

"Not immediately. There is still a lot of things to decide and he wants to make sure things are settled there before we take the baby out in this cold."

"I will miss you."

"I will miss you, too! We will bring Emily to visit you...no matter what you decide with my brother-in-law. She could not stand that you and Edward were both away."

"The ball is this weekend. Have you thought about going?" Rosalie brought up after awhile.

"I do not know if now is the best time..."

"We must go! All of us! We can find suitable clothes for Ally and Jacob! Please, Isabella!"

"I will consider it. I promise."

"Good, let us head to the dining hall. Dinner should be ready soon and I would like to hear the details of what is going on with Jasper and Alice."

"I think they are going to marry."

"Wouldn't that be lovely?" Rosalie asked happily, leading the four of them from the room.

~EA~

It was not lost on Isabella that Tanya and Jacob kept glancing over at each other. It also was not lost on her that Edward was looking rather ragged. He had pulled her chair out for her again and seemed to make sure that she ate an adequate amount of food but she knew he was tired. He picked up Emily and set her on his lap but his eyes were haunted as he watched his niece pick what she wanted off of his plate. It took everything in her power to keep her hands to herself. She wanted to touch him, to offer him some sort of comfort.

"Isabelle, are you feeling okay?"

Her eyes shot up to meet Jacob's as he looked at her, a concerned look on his face. She could feel Edward's eyes now boring into her. "Yeah..." she lied, trying to finish her sentence without sounding like it was a lie. Keira whimpered and coughed, causing the attention to shift away from Isabella, only Edward and Jacob were studying her now.

"Are you finished eating?" Jacob asked. "We can go for a walk."

She nodded and gave a small smile, relieved to get away from everyone, things were just too intense at the moment. "I'll grab my cloak," she said, pushing her chair back and standing up.

When she met him outside, he was standing by the stables and she made her way over. "Want to ride?" he asked her.

She smiled a genuine smile and nodded excitedly. Following him into the stables, he told her to choose a horse and she immediately went over to Mulan. "That's a big horse, Isabelle."

She rolled her eyes and shrugged, thinking of the first ride she had taken on the animal. "I can handle her."

Jacob placed the saddle on Mulan before helping Isabella settle onto her. She waited for him to prepare another horse for himself before they made their way out of the stable. They took it slow, silently enjoying each other's company, but it was still hard for her to think of Edward. He was so alone. "Speak, Isabelle."

"There is nothing for me to say."

"Since coming here, you seem to think you have developed the ability to lie. You are wrong. What is running through that head of yours?"

"I do not know what to do."

"About what?"

"Edward has apologized...and he confessed that he does love me..."

"How can he not?" Jacob asked quietly, sounding slightly defeated. "Isabelle, you have to do what you feel is right."

"I am still angry with him."

"That is understandable."

"I'm still hurt that he pushed me away the way he did."

"I can understand that as well..."

"I'm terrified that if I give in to him it will happen again."

"Do you love him, Isabelle?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to speak with him. No apple throwing or yelling or accusations. You need to sit down and talk everything out. Until then, you will never know what you may have if you choose to live your life with him."

~EA~

Isabella stood behind her bedroom door, listening carefully for anyone who might not be asleep yet. Everything was silent and she could hear Alice's steady breathing behind her. Swallowing hard, she stepped into the hallway. This was completely inappropriate, they were no longer married, yet she was struggling with the knowledge that he was just a few rooms away. Jacob was who she was worried about and as she went past the weapons room, she stepped lightly. To her relief, there was no lock on the door that would lead into Edward's room and she took a deep breath before turning it and peering in.

He was there on the bed, she could tell he had been crying and wondered if he was sleeping soundly. If so, she did not want to wake him. Finding the courage in herself to approach the bed, she was careful not to wake him as she gently laid beside him, close enough to reach him but not close enough that they were touching. Her hope was to just lay beside him, revel in his nearness and then sneak back to her room before he even knew she was there. She felt comfortable, though, and as she laid there watching him sleep, she eventually found herself drifting off.

She woke up to the bed moving and looked over just in time to see him shift and sit up, opening his eyes. "Bella?"

Her heart clenched when he said her name—just as it always did. "Hi," she said weakly.

Then, as if a thought occurred to him, he sat up a little straighter. "What is it? Are you alright?"

"I am fine..."

"Do you need me to light the fire in your bedroom?" Isabella blushed, remembering the night when he had brought her the greatest pleasure she could have possibly imagined. The warmth he had elicited in her was intense. Snapping herself out of her less than pure thoughts, she shook her head. "Are you hungry?"

"No!" she finally snapped. Then she stumbled with her words, she never should have come. "I just...I wanted...I need..."

"Please do not cry. You do not have to say anything..."

"How much longer?" she finally asked after about five minutes of them just staring at each other.

"What do you mean?"

"Edward, I know you are scared for what is to come...with your family...but is it really that you want me? I do not mean to offend but I have only been gone for..."

"I do not know what to do to make you believe me..."

"You'd be willing to leave here? If you wanted to stay, I am quite sure Tanya would not mind..."

"Isabella, Tanya meant nothing to me even before I met Kate and she means nothing to me now!"

"I meant nothing to you only a short time ago."

"Then why are you here? If you honestly believe that...why, Isabella?" he asked her, growing more frustrated.

"Because...because as my father and Jacob always loved to remind me, I'm as stubborn as an ox. My heart is far over riding my mind."

"When I went to your home, I thought...I thought you decided to leave with him..."

"What changed your mind?"

"I was leaving to come back here when Charlotte and Peter arrived. They explained that Jasper chose to bring you back here—along with Alice and Jacob—after your father passed away. I did not bother to stop for Tanya, she was on her way to the castle already when I caught up to her. I saw the living conditions in your home and I feel awful for not sending you..."

"Living conditions? Edward, that is my home...and believe me, the 'living conditions' are very much suitable!"

"I apologize..."

"No. This is what it will be! You are giving up the life of luxury by giving up another Denali princess! How long until you start seeing what you did the last time? How long until you wake up and realize that I am not them? I will never be those other girls who like to have ridiculous amounts of money spent on them. How long until you realize that I am not good enough for you? How long until you realize that you are making a huge..."

Somehow, her sentence was completely interrupted as Edward's lips connected with hers. As all of the other times before, it quickly became much more passionate than she intended. Isabella thought of what he had said to her earlier that day and her subconscious fought with itself, trying to determine if he could truly have meant it. Suddenly, it ended as quickly as it began. He slid away from her, literally panting on the side of the bed, and it took her awhile to regain her voice.

"A huge mistake," she finished her previous sentence, biting her lip and feeling the familiar pang of abandon and rejection. "I must go now. I never intended to stay with you the whole night. I must go before I alert the others of my late night visit to your bed."

He did not try to stop her and she was glad for it. Had he tried, she probably would have been unable to resist. She wanted to wrench the door open and slam it shut, she wanted to feel that satisfaction, but knew that surely it would wake both Alice and Jacob if they were not already awake. Closing the door quietly, Isabella crept back into her bedroom. Alice appeared to still be asleep and she laid down, trying to close her eyes and fall back to sleep herself. She was finally comfortable when she heard Alice clear her throat. "How is Edward doing by himself?"

"Alice...I was..."

"Making sure that someone you love was okay? Go back to sleep, Isabella, your secret is safe with me."

"Oh, Alice," Isabella sighed as her friend turned to face her. "I'm so scared."

"Isabella," Alice said, in a rough tone that only a close friend could pull of without sounding mean. "You are afraid to get hurt but do you not see that you are hurting now? Is he not worth risking in order for you to be happy for the rest of your life? Can you take the chance of not trying and living forever in a state of regret? I know you are scared. I am scared and Jasper has been nothing but kind. Edward loves you, Isabella."

**This was kind of a bridge chapter but the next one is one of my favorites so far. I'm unsure if there will be more than a couple chapters left or not. It's probable that there will be 15 chapters total. I may decide to continue it but I am not sure right now. Thank you all so much for your continued support! I know you will enjoy the next chapter, there is a ball and another type of a proposal :) Follow me on twitter letzigprincess Review and I'll send a preview!**

**Letzy xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 14**

**Revelations**

The night of the ball finally arrived. Though some anxiously waited for it, happy to be attending, some others—including Isabella herself, were waiting anxiously to get it over with. Rosalie, though, was absolutely beaming. Everyone seemed in good spirits at breakfast, though she could not bring herself to look into Edward's eyes...and he was avoiding her as well. Since the first night she had come to his room at night, she continued to do so even though they were not actually speaking to each other. He never said anything and neither did she.

The girls pulled dress after dress for Alice but Rosalie was much curvier and Isabella did not have many offer. The ones bought for her were too slim for Alice, which raised another red flag—she had been losing weight since she came to the castle to begin with. To their surprise, Tanya ended up loaning Alice a dress that belonged to her and it fit Alice well enough. Alice looked amazing no matter what she wore and Isabella suspected that Jasper would adore Alice even if she was to only wear a paper sack.

Esme came into Rosalie and Emmett's room where they were all getting ready and smiled at Isabella. Rosalie already had her hair done up in a knot and Alice wore her short bob down and curled. "Isabella, will you allow me to braid your hair?"

"Of course, Esme. Let's go back to my room. I need to retrieve my dress."

They made their way to Isabella room and Alice got her dress set out on the bed while Isabella sat and let Esme brush her hair. With the first brush stroke, memories of her mother doing the same thing for her came to mind. Some of Isabella's best memories of her mother were the times they would sit and talk while her mother brushed her hair. She fought tears, realizing that now that her father was gone, she truly had no blood-related family left. Their legacy ended with her. There was no male to carry on their name and Isabella realized that there may never be even grandchildren to carry on the genes. It made her frown and Esme must have noticed the heavy silence.

"So, have you spoken to Edward lately?"

Isabella blushed red at the thoughts of her late night trysts with him, as she suspected he knew that she was there. Then again, they had been married. She could not figure out the appropriate methods for such an act after having been married and then having that marriage annulled. Her mind spun and she rolled her eyes at herself. "He says that he cares for me."

"And do you care for him?"

"I do," Isabella said cautiously. "I just do not know how true he is to his word. I know things were...different for us...but I had fallen in love with him. I still do very much love him but I have no family, Esme. I'm afraid of him pushing me out of this one again."

"Now, Isabella," Esme stopped brushing and said in a chastising tone, "regardless of what happens between you and my son, you were at one time legally my daughter and I fear that I can not emotionally allow that title to go. Carlisle and I will always consider you as part of our family."

Isabella practically beamed as she heard Esme use the nickname she had grown to love. "That means a lot to me."

"I only hope that you can come to know him as he used to be. A younger Edward..." Esme said wistfully, setting the brush down and coming to stand in front of her, leaning against the vanity "...he was so brave. He was always willing to help but he never wanted to be the center of attention. His humble kindness always made the young ladies swoon though it seems that he never noticed. When he was with his brothers, the men he served with, he was so at ease. I worried for him but knew that he was trying to help others...and that he had friends who would help keep him safe, just as he would help them. Jasper still refuses to leave his side..."

"He has been with Jasper for a long time, then?" Isabella asked.

"Oh, yes. I believe Edward would have been knighted as well had he not met Katherine."

"What did you think of their relationship?"

"To be honest? I suppose I worried that she would take him from his dreams...I had no idea at the time that...well...he explained that he wanted to be a husband and father. It gave him reason to keep fighting, to know he was helping his own family and not just strangers."

Isabella watched as Esme looked up to the heavens, a sad smile on her face appeared as a tear fell. "He told me that he would still be able to provide for her, that they had a plan because Garrett Denali refused to allow them to marry. It was a shocker when he died. I do believe that's the first time that Edward realized what he could be responsible for. Katherine assured him that he would not become successor...the Lord knows that man who did become successor is much worse than our Edward would have been..."

She trailed off and Isabella nodded, "Edward wants to fight for the state. He says he needs to help protect the citizens..."

"Bella, sweet girl, those lines have been crossed. There is no right and wrong side. My son knows that. He will fight for what he believes is right, for what is right, because that is who he is."

"Will I ever see that person that he used to be? Will he always be haunted like this?"

"Bella, he was much worse before he met you. You are fixing him. I know it is not fair to you and I know that he may never be that same carefree, brave boy that married for love...both times...but I truly believe, now that he has you, he at least has the chance to be happy again."

~EA~

"Holy heavens!" gasped Alice, gawking at Isabella as Esme tied up the back of her dress. Self-consciously, Isabella reached up and touched her hair gently. It was done in one long braid that Esme pulled so it fell beside her neck, over her left shoulder, and ended just above her heart. Esme has also braided a soft, satin, yellow ribbon into her mahogany hair.

"She is quite the lovely lady," Esme said softly, coming around to stand in front of Isabella. Rosalie knocked on the door and came in with Emily, who was beaming at Isabella. "Bella! You look so pretty!"

"Thank you, Emily."

"Em, do you have something you would like to ask Bella?" Rosalie prompted gently.

Her little face became determined then, as if trying to remember something very important, "Master Cullen...Master Cullen would want...would like...Miss Swan..."

Emily looked to Rosalie then, obviously frustrated and Rosalie just laughed a little. "You don't have to say it exactly right..."

"But Uncle Eddie..."

"Just ask her, Emily!" Rosalie nodded in encouragement.

"Uncle Edward wants you to go with him!" the little girl blurted out.

Isabella could not help but laugh and bent down to hug the child. "Sweet heart, can you give him a message for me?"

Emily nodded excitedly, "He looks pretty, too!"

"Handsome," Rosalie correct, bursting into even more laughter, "men are handsome, not pretty."

"Can you tell him that I promise to save him the first and last dance. Can you do that for me?"

Emily nodded again and skipped out of the room. Before following her, Rosalie smiled and said, "Edward, Jacob, and Tanya are planning to travel with us. Alice, Jasper is wishing to accompany you and Isabella. Isabella, are you sure you do not wish to attend with Edward?"

"I feel that it is not a time to be public with our relationship to that extreme. Give him my best. I truly do look forward to dancing with him."

"I will. See you shortly. Oh, and not many people actually know of the situation. It has been such a short time that it has happened and your father was ill. Many believe you returned home for that purpose, still very much married to Edward. Try to not worry about what everyone will think."

By the time they did last minute checks on their gowns, hair, and cloaks, Carlisle and Jasper were the only two left in the dining hall. Well, Siohban was there, watching after the two little ones. Both men regarded all three women lovingly and Alice blushed a deep scarlet when Jasper pulled her close and kissed her deeply. "Alright," Carlisle spoke, "let us get these beauties to their ball."

~EA~

They were just stepping into their own carriage when the other one began to cross the bridge. Immediately, Isabella regretted her decision to not go with them. Tanya would be traveling with Edward...and that thought was not too pleasant. Esme seemed to notice her unease and idle chit chat continued until they pulled up to a large mansion on the other side of the village. Carriages were dropping it's occupants off at the front door and their carriage was no exception. Staying close to Esme and Carlisle, Isabella fought to blend in but she seemed to be failing miserably.

Their large group was introduced as they arrived and Isabella wondered where Edward had ended up. Jessica would surely be in attendance. Becoming angry with herself, she snuck away to speak with Rosalie, who was talking to Aundrea Webber. If she was going to take things slow with Edward, she could not keep him all to herself.

A wonderful string quartet played from the back of the mansion and Isabella wondered how large the place actually was. The floors were covered in a plush red carpet until you came to the dance floor which was a magnificent, white marble. It was not lost on her that Brutus seemed to be following her around and Jacob soon found her as well.

"You look beautiful, Isabelle."

Jacob was wearing fancier clothes than she had ever seen him in and she could not help but smile. "You look wonderful as well, Jacob."

"May I have a dance tonight?"

"Of course. The first and last have already been promised but one in between is yours."

He bowed slightly to her before walking off to join Tanya by the refreshment area. "Can you imagine? Oh, Isabella, look at this!" Alice cried. "To think of how little we had only a few weeks ago...and now this...it is verily breathtaking! I will have to remember to write to my mother about these outings..."

Isabella was happy for her friend's happiness. "Have you told her about Jasper yet?"

"Oh, yes. I told her before we even left that I thought he was lovely. I have not told her of our impending engagement..."

"I am so happy for you!" Then, as the music began to grow louder and someone close to the back announced something, people around her begun to dance. It had begun, the first dance, and she was alone. It seemed that there were ballgowns everywhere, swirling and sliding to the music. Seconds later, Jasper swooped in and took Alice to the dance floor with him. Lonely, Isabella stood almost in the middle of it all and peered down at the hem of her dress, wondering if this was a bad idea.

It was then that she saw him. He was standing on the upper balcony, looking down at her, his eyes full of wonder. Glancing behind her, she realized no one was really in his line of vision that was not already dancing with someone. It may have been her imagination but she could almost see him begin to breathe a little heavier before making his way towards the grand staircase. As soon as he touched the bottom step, her own heart beat picked up and increased even more with each step he took towards her. "Edward..."

"Bella, you look...you look..."

Isabella laughed and her inner being smiled at the fact that he was at a loss for words. With a grin of her own she said,"You don't look so bad yourself, love."

A smile blossomed on his face at the way she addressed him and in the next instant, he pulled her close to him and they began to dance. It was not the formal, uptight, dances that many other unmarried couples were doing. He just held her close and rocked her back and forth. Clasping him desperately, every emotion that she had felt since she left the castle with Jacob came back to her and she realized she was holding her breath. She tried to remind herself that he was here, he was holding her, and he _wanted_ a second chance. "Bella, baby, it's okay now."

She frowned, he must have known why she was clinging to him so tightly, she was trying to keep herself together. A hot tear slid down her cheek and she hated herself for it. This was not the appropriate place or time to break. "Edward, I'm sorry...I can not...not right now. I need to step outside..."

Forcing herself to let him go, she walked with her head down towards the grand entrance and out into the cold, winter night. Lifting her dress as best as she could, she made her way over to a small building on the property that looked like a storage barn. Opening the door, she realized she was right and let herself fall into a stack of hay, tears now pouring. It was okay in as many ways as it was wrong. The fact that Edward was home was the only thing her heart was screaming at her but her mind was chastising her for feeling so happy after the loss of her father.

Jacob was drifting away from her, Alice was moving on as well, her father was gone, and Edward was giving up on a life of royal riches...to be with her. It made no sense. All of this made no sense. Until just recently, Isabella could have gone back to Forks, spent time with her friends, visited her and Alice's childhood homes, spend time with her healthy father, and still be married to Edward. The changes she had been put through so suddenly and so violently twisted her soul and made cry harder. Wind slammed the side of the small shed and she was grateful for the privacy of it. No one could hear her cries.

She must have sat for almost twenty minutes before she heard them. First, it was Edward's voice, then Emmett's, and last Jacob's. They were calling for her, and they sounded so far away, but soon the door to the storage barn was wrenched open. "Thank the Lord!" Jacob gasped, then sucked in another breath when he saw her condition. She looked down at her hands, the idea of how pitiful she must look made her sick. He did not approach her though, he gave her a sad smile and backed out.

"Edward! Over here! There were footprints!" he said by way of explanation.

Less than a second later, Edward nearly knocked Jacob out of the way of the door frame and strode over to her. Embarrassed, she kept her eyes on the floor in front of her and began to cry harder. Her body was completely betraying her. "Bella, look at me. Please, please, look at me. I am never going to be able to make this right..." he said this last part as if to himself, the self-hatred was returning.

"No," Isabella choked out, his hands were on her shoulders and she shoved against his chest. All of the hurt and anger she felt towards him came pouring out before she even knew what was happening. "No! You can not make me leave again! How could you push me away? How could you do this to me? You said you loved me but how could you force us to go against the church? How could you dislike me that much if you loved me? Why did you do this?"

With each question she brought her small fists against his chest but she knew she was not hurting him, at least not physically. "I needed you! I do not love Jacob! I thought I did but that went away when I met you! Could you not see how much I loved you? How much I needed you?"

He did not say anything, though she had no idea what he possibly could have said to calm her down. Instead, he took her fists and instead of allowing them to beat him on the chest, he forced her to wrap them around him so they were holding onto each other again. He turned with her, so that he could sit down on the hay, and pulled her down onto his lap. His one hand stayed at her waist, holding her there, while the other cupped her face as he held her like a small child.

"I miss him, Edward," she choked out, grabbing the collar of his suit and pulling herself closer to him.

"I know, Bella, I know how it feels to lose someone who is your entire world..."

"_You_ were my entire world!" Isabella corrected him. "I love and miss my father but it was not him who meant everything. It was you! In that short amount of time I came to know you, you were everything! Kate never would have pushed you away! She would never have hurt you that way!"

Isabella felt his arms tighten even more around her, for a second she worried that her lungs could not even get air, but then she felt something even more upsetting. Tears-not hers but his. Guilt began to set in and exhaustion was overwhelming her. She thought saying those words would make her feel better, would be her way of getting her revenge. Now, she hated herself possibly more than he hated himself. She knew then that there was absolutely no way she was going to be able to live without him. Isabella could tell herself and everyone else that she did not love him enough to forgive him and give them both a second chance at each other until the day she died, but it would all be lies. Every bit of it was untrue.

"Edward?" she asked quietly, hoping that he would still accept her after what she had just said to him. He looked down at her, a look of fear on his face. "I am sorry, too. Please, I did not mean what I have said. You love Kate and I know that this is hard for you. I just need to know that you accept that she is gone and I am here now. I want this with you, I want a second chance, not just for you but for me. I need you, though. I am here. Right now. I need you now. You can not leave me...I can not lose you again!"

She thought of what she was saying. If she did this, it meant losing Jacob, starting fresh in a new life with Edward, possibly never having a child of her own, and so many other things that made her head spin. None of this is what she had planned on. It scared her that she did not care.

"Never," he managed to get out. Swallowing hard, he kissed her forehead. "Never again will I push you away. Please, I will do anything. We can go back to Forks, we can make a home for ourselves there. Bella, I'm just scared about starting a family...I can not condemn you to what happened with Katherine. You can see Alice whenever you want...and even Jacob—but I am a jealous man, so I will have to pretend that I won't let you..."

Isabella laughed at his last admission and snuggled into him. Was he really willing to leave Seattle? Of course he was planning to leave the castle but to move the whole way to Forks was a big deal. They would be much farther from where his parents were going than if they stayed. He would also be a long trip away from Kate and Garrett. Starting a family? Did he mean he was against it completely or just scared of it happening?

Edward spoke again, "I will do anything. Whatever it takes to keep you with me, no matter where we are, I just want us to be together."

"Would you really be willing to leave here? What about visiting...with Kate? You are not going to be able to..."

"What is buried under the ground is a body, Isabella. Kate will always be with me in some way. She is with me now, trying to help me. She's looking down at us and I know if she could, she would tell us that this is okay. I did not understand this before but I understand it now. She is gone. You are here. That is what matters and I need you. I am afraid that you will leave. The way you left that morning with Jacob, without even a goodbye..."

"You _wanted_ me to leave! You called upon Jacob to take me! Besides, I had to leave while I could. If I had stayed for another minute I do not know that I would have had the strength to do so!"

"Your father was ill!"

"That is the _only_ reason I left!"

"Even though Jacob was there, ready to take you home?"

"If I wanted Jacob, I would not be sitting here with you. I would not be sneaking into your room every night just to be close to you! I can not lose you. If we try again, you can not leave me."

"I promise. Bella, I promise you, I will do anything."

"Edward, you are so complicated! One minute you would say you wanted me and the next you were begging me to leave! I want this, though, if you do. I've missed you so much. "

~EA~

Once her breathing returned to normal, she relaxed against him and just reveled in the fact that she was in his arms again. He eventually looked her in the eyes, "Do you want to go back? I am sure the others are worried..."

Rubbing her own dried tears from her cheeks, she reddened. "I look awful..."

"You are still the most beautiful woman here, Bella."

"I do not feel as such."

"Are you interested in going back to the ball at all?"

"Not really. No."

"Then I have an idea. Will you wait here?"

She frowned but nodded, watching him walk away. After about five minutes, he returned. "Your carriage awaits, beauty."

She took his hands and he helped pull her up before leading her out the doors. The snow was falling heavily and Edward wrapped an arm around her. "Come on, Bells! I'll race you!"

Isabella laughed as he let her go and jogged backwards, his eyes never leaving her face. She couldn't stop the giggle that rose in her throat as she lifted the bottom of her dress and began to sprint. She pushed past him and just as she was about to reach the carriage, the ground dipped down and Isabella's foot went right through the snow. About to take a tumble, she braced herself to hit the ground. Before she knew what was happening, Edward was pulling her back up and towards him. His eyes were bright-eyed and she believed he looked happy. It was infectious.

Holding her to himself with one arm, he reached forward and put his palm flat against the carriage. "What do I win?"

Her laughing ceased at the seriousness in his gaze, his eyes had darkened, and she could feel her blood running though her veins. In a second, he was leading her into the carriage and the second they were inside and away from prying eyes, her mouth found his. He was sitting on the seat and she stood in front of him, between his legs. With his hands holding her there by her waist, she practically had to let him hold her up. He tasted so good, his hands warm against her sides, and she realized that he could probably feel her bones...just as Jacob had.

Pulling away, she sat down beside him and placed her hands on her lap. Edward yelled out to whoever was driving that they were ready to go and the carriage began to move. "I apologize. I did not mean to be so forward...it was inappropriate."

"I think I may have started it," Isabella said with a sad smile.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, running his hands through his hair.

"No! No. It is just that Jacob told me that he could feel my bones and..." Edward seemed angry with this news. Isabella's eyes grew wide at what she must have implied. "I have not been with him. I would never..."

"That's not what I am upset about, Isabella. Why did you not eat while I was away?"

"I did eat when you were away...some...I just lost my father. I had no appetite and I thought you were gone for good. I know you love your family and that you would eventually be back but it wouldn't be for me..."

"That gives you a reason to starve yourself?"

"I am sorry I told you," she said, trying not to cry. He was practically yelling at her.

Immediately, his face softened and he took her hands, which were twisted in her lap. Flattening them out, he left his hands rest on top of them and kissed her cheek. "I never want to see you not take care of yourself. Do you understand me? It is so easy to get sick during this season and not eating or not getting rest will not help matters. You saw how quickly your father was taken from us, you know what happened with Katherine, and yet you still choose to disregard your own health?"

She did not know what to say, so she sat with his hand over both of hers and leaned into his side. Knowing there was no way to defend herself, she whispered that she was sorry and that she understood. The rest of the ride was quiet and she found that they were both relaxed again as they made their way over the bridge. "The others will not be returning for probably a few hours..."

"Will people talk about us leaving together? Does everyone know?"

"I do not think that they really know the truth, there is no way for them to know of the annulment unless one of us or Father Daniels said something. Most believe we are still married and those that do not are probably being dismissed for gossip. Now, you run in and get warm. I shall help with the horses and come find you shortly."

~EA~

Siohban and the children were no where to be seen and Isabella stood in front of the large fireplace in the dining hall, warming her hands and feet. Once she was thoroughly warm, and there was still no sign of them or Edward, she decided to make her way back outside to find him. When there were no torches lit by the stables, she pulled her cloak around herself and headed off towards the cemetery. Upon her arrival, she stopped at the gate and watched him, wondering if perhaps she should go back.

Edward was on one knee in front of Katherine's grave, and arm rested on that knee and his head was in his hand. Realizing there was no way she could even look away, Isabella kept watch, waiting for him. She would wait all night if she had to. This was a part of him that she had to accept. After a few moments, he lifted his head and nodded, as if affirming something unheard and stood. He touched the top of her stone before doing the same to Garretts and turned around. When he saw Isabella, he strode over to her and at first she thought he was angry.

"I'm sorry..."

She realized then that he was upset, not with her, but with himself. "I understand, Edward. I am not trying to replace her."

He stepped closer to her and kissed her cheek, it was so much more of an intimate feeling than when he kissed her forehead and she felt herself lean into him automatically. "You look so beautiful tonight, Bella. I meant what I said. No other woman could compete. You aren't her, and regardless of what I may have implied, I don't ever want you to change yourself to be like her or anyone else. There are things that are alike and different about both of you and I love you. Of course it still hurts. It sometimes feels like I'm being ripped in half but the fact that I want you, even with that feeling, I know that letting you leave was a horrible idea. Come on, let's go inside."

On the way back, Isabella looked up at him from his side. His arm was around her and their hips were touching as they navigated the snow. "Do you think anyone will be upset that we left?"

"Does it matter?" he asked with a smirk. "You were not happy there and neither was I."

"Oh, no!" Isabella realized that Jacob had been promised a dance—and she verily had already broken that promised. Edward stopped immediately. "I'm sorry...I promised Jacob that I would dance with him..."

A strange expression crossed Edward's face and he frowned a little. "Do you regret leaving?"

"No. I just feel kind of bad."

"Well, if it is of any consolation, he seemed to be enjoying himself with a certain princess..."

"Jacob Black and Tanya Denali..." Isabella said, irony heavy in her voice.

"Who would have thought," shrugged Edward.

When they entered the dining hall, there was still no one around and Edward lead her over to the fireplace. She shrugged off the cloak and he took it, carefully laying it over a table to dry. She found herself walking over and standing closely behind him, as if her life depended on his closeness. When he righted himself and turned back around, he seemed slightly taken aback by her nearness but instead of saying anything about it, just pulled her close to him and breathed deeply. "I never got my last dance, beauty."

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" he asked her, his tone sounding completely content.

"I do not plan to have our last dance for many, many, many years."

He tensed then, holding her at arms length now. "Oh?"

"I want a second chance, too. You said I deserved to make my own decision on this." Then, a small smile played across her lips. "Will you marry me...again, Edward?"

"Are you proposing marriage to me, Bella?" He asked, completely surprised and rather amused.

"I believe so," she responded

"I believe 'tis customary for the man to ask the woman...but as we both know very well, nothing about us has ever been customary," he shook his head, a puzzled smile crossed his face.

"Is that a yes, Master Cullen?" Isabella asked playfully before adding, "I do not have all day."

Edward shook his head and laughed, his laughter sounded so good to her, she could not believe how content she felt as well. Dropping to his knees in front of her, he pulled her towards him so that his head was resting against her belly and she was hugging him. "Then in that case, Miss Swan, I would be honored."

When he finally stood up, he pulled her towards him again and his hands came to rest on her ribs. "This will never do, Bella. No wife of mine will go hungry. To think that Jacob noticed..." his hands tightened on her and for a moment she prayed that he would not ruin the mood. Instead, a small smile came to his lips and he kissed her again before saying, "In fact, no wife of mine will be touched in a way such as this by any man other than me...even this Jacob Black."

"He only hugged me, Edward. Nothing has happened between us."

"I know, and believe it or not, I am grateful of the way he is with you. He was there for you when I was not. There is something, though. He asked me when I first returned if you and I were still married..."

Isabella's breath caught, she could remember telling Jacob that the night they were in the stables together, when he had first hinted at his intentions of marrying her himself. A part of her wanted to believe it was true, that her leaving was temporary, but she knew in her heart that it was over...that Edward would have gone through with the annulment. It had been the only thing she could come up with to turn Jacob down, besides the fact that she loved Edward more. Jacob had been far too good to her.

"Breathe, beauty. It did happen," he said it as if that was good news. Looking down, she closed her eyes, even though they would soon be husband and wife again, it still hurt. "I did not want to make things more difficult for you if you chose to become Jacob's..."

"Do not say it. I do not want that and this is something you must remember, Edward. Perhaps at one time I thought of it but then I met you and you changed...everything. You said that if this was a different time, that maybe things would have worked out the first time, but I think this was supposed to happen. I had to be there for my father...and Tanya does deserve to be here. Alice and Jasper...Jacob and Tanya...Edward, I think this was all meant to happen."

"So you wouldn't change anything?"

"No, I suppose not," Isabella mused.

"Well," Edward said, kissing her chastely and then looking her in the eyes. "Let's never go through it again, okay?"

**I told you all to have faith! There will only be one more chapter after this and I apologize to those who wanted it to continue. When I planned it out, this is about where I expected it to end and this is where it will stay. This was meant to be a fun, almost experimental project for me and I enjoyed writing it as much as I hope you enjoyed reading it! The story's conclusion should be posted either Sunday or Monday. I know it is a day more than usual but 'tis the season for stress. Lol. Thank you for the support and please review. I'll still send a preview and I'm still writing 15 so if you want to see something specific in it, if it fits, I'd be happy to try to work it in. Lots of love, Letzigprincess xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters that make it amazing. I'm just borrowing them for a little while. **

**Chapter 15**

**Happily Ever After Epilogue**

Edward waited as patiently as possible beside his wife's bed. Softly dragging a cool, damp cloth across her forehead, her watched her doze and prayed. The poor thing was covered in sweat and he tried to his best to cool her down from the hot summer heat. Looking down at her now, he thought back to all they had been through together. He would never forget that night after the ball, everyone just seemed to fall into place right where they belonged. When everyone returned that night, he and Bella had been wide awake, chatting about their future life together and just enjoying each other's company.

At first, his father was hesitant on the prospect of them remarrying and Esme was concerned that Father Daniels would not grant them another marriage, but she did suggest speaking to the priest back in Forks. The next day, Edward had gone with Jasper and Carlisle to talk to the aging priest. Father Daniels always liked him and Edward suspected he knew exactly why they were there. As soon as the words left Edward's mouth, the priest was nodding and happy.

Originally, they were just going to marry at the mass Father Daniels was going to give at the chapel, neither wanted a big wedding and he suspected a big wedding saddened Bella. That it would remind her of those who wouldn't be there. Alice remained sleeping in Bella's room and, one night before Bella snuck away for their nightly trysts, she asked if Edward and Bella wanted to get married the same day as her and Jasper. Bella agreed, excited to share their special day with her best friend.

Bella insisted on wearing her ball gown while Esme and Rosalie helped make Alice the perfect bridal gown. Edward had never seen Jasper so happy and until they all moved out to go to Forks, that feeling had been contagious. They decided to move together shortly after the wedding and everyone else seemed to go their own separate ways shortly after. It was no surprise to anyone when Jacob informed everyone that he would not be returning to the place he had previously called home. He was going to remain in Seattle with Tanya. A few months after their own wedding, they all went back to Seattle, as well as his family, to witness Jacob and Tanya's marriage.

Alice's mother returned to Forks to live with her daughter and son-in-law when her first grandchild was born, almost nine months to the day after their double wedding. She now stood in the doorway of his and Bella's bedroom, peeking in at them. "How is she?"

"Tired," Bella spoke, her voice slightly hoarse.

"Hang in there, dear child," the kind woman said, giving Bella an encouraging smile. "Edward someone is here to see you."

Edward bent to kiss his wife's forehead, letting her know that he'd be right outside. She just nodded and gave him a half smile. He hated leaving her but had a sneaking suspicion on who his visitor was. A smile lit up his face as his suspicions were confirmed. "Papa!"

"Charlie, why aren't you over at Aunt Alice's playing with Demetri?" He asked his little boy who had eyes the color of his mothers and just the right amount of red in his dark hair.

"I wanted to see if the baby was here..."

"Not yet, son..."

"Edward, I'm sorry!" Alice said from the doorway as she carried a two-year old, brown-eyed, mahogany haired baby on her hip. She looked flustered and began to ramble. "He took off before I could grab Katelyn and my mom thankfully found him..."

"No trouble, Alice," he said, holding his arms out to his little daughter. She definitely got her looks from Bella.

"How's she doing?"

"Good. My father is in with her now but he suggest we just let her rest. The baby isn't quite ready to come but the pains are strong. She's just exhausted."

Alice nodded knowingly, "It took three days for my Demetri to come into the world..."

"Where is he?"

"With Jasper. He and Brutus were out on a patrol but they returned about an hour ago. Would you like me to bring you over some dinner? Does Bella need anything?"

"No. Thank you, though. My mother went into town to get a few things and I believe she is planning to make something for us."

Bella let out a low moan that brought chills down his spine and Alice took Katelyn back from him. "Charlie, come on, your mama is fine but your papa needs to go help her. I bet Uncle Jasper will take you on the ponies if we ask him..." Edward laughed as his excited little son all but flung himself out of the front doors and took off running back towards the bridge to go to his aunt and uncles. Alice's mom just rolled her eyes and followed him out.

Alice lingered for a moment before lowering her voice and removing a hand from Katelyn to place it on Edward's shoulder. "She's going to be okay, Edward. Baby number three will be a breeze for her."

"I hate this..."

"Think of what it brings you," Alice reminded him of the blessings Bella had given him by raising his daughter up a little and kissing her cheek. "Stay strong for her and everything will be okay. Send Esme when the baby arrives. We are all excited."

"Thank you, Alice. Really. For everything."

~EA~

Bella braced herself for the next tightening and set of pains to hit her. Edward was panicked and she was trying to make this as easy on him as possible. With their first child, Charles Garrett Cullen, they had both been absolutely terrified during the delivery. Bella reached a shaking hand out to take her husband's as he returned to her bedside. The memories came back to her full force.

Her first thing she remembered after their wedding was when they finally decided to consummate their marriage. Of course, they had found other ways to satisfy each other...and had much fun figuring it out. When they finally did indulge, he had been so gentle and patient that she knew then, if she was to get pregnant, he would be there to support her. Some husbands spent so much time away from their wives that they missed the births of their children. They did not end up conceiving until months later and Edward had handled it well, only crying a little, and to this day she wondered if they were happy tears or ones of someone who was terrified.

"_Edward, please go sit down, you are not making things easier..." Carlisle pleaded with his anxious son who was currently pacing and practically pulling out his hair._

_With a frown, Edward sat down beside Bella, taking her hand in his and bouncing his leg nervously. "Do you need to push? Do you need water? Do you..."_

"_Edward, I just started labor about an hour ago. Please try to relax."_

"_I'm sorry, beauty," he said sincerely, looking disappointed in himself. _

"_Look at me," she plead, pulling him towards her. "I am right here and I am going to stay here. I am not leaving you. I am okay."_

_About fifteen hours later, Charlie was born and Edward began his panic all over again. At first, he was just glad when his father confirmed that everything was normal and Bella was going to be fine. Then, his worry turned to his newborn son. "Father, he's breathing funny..."_

"_He's crying," Carlisle reminded him and Bella wondered if he was trying not to roll his eyes._

"_Do you think he's too little? He looks too little..."_

_This back and forth continued between Carlisle and Edward went on for another ten minutes before Bella spoke up. "Edward, I just went through giving birth. Please, dear heavens, let me hold my son."_

_Edward and Carlisle both looked at her, and with a sheepish smile, Edward handed his son to his wife. "I'm sorry. He's beautiful."_

_It was at that point that Edward sat down and turned away from her. At first, she thought he was upset with her but soon realized what was happening when Carlisle walked over and put his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Edward, they are both fine."_

_Bella saw that he was crying when he turned back towards her, wiping his eyes as if he did not want her to know how emotional he was. Charles was nearly a month old before Edward eased up on them and decided they were both going to be okay. That had been one long month._

Pain gripped her abdomen and she bent forward a little, feeling like she was going to be sick. She had thrown up twice while giving birth to Katelyn Renee Cullen and so her nausea did not surprise her. Esme came in then, having been to town to get some soap and whatever else she needed to prepare dinner. Edward nodded a hello to her and Bella turned down her offer to get her anything. Carlisle nodded to them both before following his wife out and leaving them alone. The second Carlisle was gone, Bella reached over and pulled his arm towards her.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, concern dripping from the smooth, velvet voice she had come to love more than any other sound in the world.

"I am fine. So, what do you think? A boy or a girl?"

"I have no idea. I just want you both safe."

"Do you remember when Katelyn was born? When you swore she was a boy?"

Edward chuckled, a smile crossing his lips as he thought back to that day. "I have no idea why I thought she was. I am glad she was a girl, though. I love knowing that she looks so much like you. She has your temper, too. Always getting mad and trying to run off to be by herself..."

"Now, now," laughed Bella, cringing quickly after when a very sharp reminder that she was in labor hit. After a few minutes, she smiled again and relaxed a little. "At least we are safe now."

Around the time of Katelyn's birth, Edward had been called away on multiple occasions. The old King had been causing more and more problems and unrest could be felt everywhere. In fact, the fourth month of them returning to Forks, the pony-tailed man that had eyed her up around the time of her father's passing tried to break in their home one evening. Thankfully, Edward and Jasper had both been out by the stables when he road over the bridge with a few other people. Bella had never been so terrified in her life. She thanked the heavens everyday that they were able to ward them off before she or anyone else could be harmed. If time told correctly, they had just conceived Charles. Over the next couple years, the King was finally killed. No one knew if it was intentional or natural. Honestly, no one cared. With no heirs to be offered the throne, the state called upon the Denali sister who still owned the palace.

"Jacob is a good King and Tanya is able to debate with the best of them, men and women alike. Things are good."

"That they are."

Suddenly, she could almost feel a ripping take place and she let her pain show loudly. Edward immediately yelled for Carlisle and Bella dug her nails into Edward's hand. "The baby's coming. NOW!"

The was terrifying for her. With the other two, the labor had gone on for much longer. Biting her lip, she fought to remain calm. If she panicked, Edward was going to as well. "Carlisle..." Bella cried as she threw her head back.

Trusting her father-in-law implicitly, Bella allowed him to check her progress. "It's time. Are you ready to push?"

~EA~

Not even fifteen minutes later, Edward was looking down at his fourth child and third son. This little boy had the greenest eyes he'd ever seen and he could have sworn the baby was smiling up at him. Unlike Charles, this little boy looked almost identical to his Garrett, the first baby he had fathered with Katherine. Some may feel that all newborns looked the same but there was just something about this little boy. Edward would never forget how Garrett looked that day and this little baby could have been a mirror image. The difference between the two was that this little one was kicking happily and cooing. He was not gasping for breath or screaming in frustration.

"Edward, love, we're okay," Bella reminded him, as was routine when he got emotional after his children were born. This time it was different, though. He hadn't been anywhere near as afraid but seeing this baby... "He looks like him."

"Who?" Bella asked tiredly, trying to get comfortable as Carlisle prepared to help her deliver the afterbirth.

"Garrett."

"Oh." Bella's eyes widened a little and she looked down at her new baby again. A smile lit up her face as the baby's eyes rolled towards her, having heard her voice. "He looks just like _you_, Edward. He even has some hair already...and those eyes..."

"What should we name him?"

"I think we should name him something strong and something connected to you."

"We already have Katelyn..."

"What about your mother's family name? What about Masen? We can give him your middle name, then."

"Masen Anthony Cullen. Are you sure?"

"Do you like it?" she asked quietly, not wanting to startle the baby and reveling in the moment.

"I love it. I love him. Masen, welcome home."

~EA~

Bella sat in the tall grass, right beside her childhood best friend, and watched as their children played together. Her children, all five of them, ran through the field chasing grasshoppers with their two cousins. "When is Edward expected to return?" Alice asked, stretching and laughing at something her Demetri just did.

"Tonight."

"I can not believe how quickly time has gone..."

"It feels that he has been away forever!" Bella contested.

"Not his trip! Just...life. Life has come so fast."

"Indeed it has."

Looking down, Bella watched as a caterpillar crawled across the grass in front of them. Every time she saw one of the wiggling critters, she thought of that day in the field with Emily. The day she would have rather cut off a finger than leave Edward. Hooves pounding the ground brought her out of her reminiscing and Bella looked up. Her heart sped up and a smile crossed her face. "He has only been gone for two nights!" Alice laughed, exasperated with her friend.

Edward and Jasper made their way towards them, the little ones saw them and became excited. Even though Jasper had remained in Forks to keep watch of them, his children were caught up in the excitement as well. Dismounting from his young horse, he had to say goodbye to Mulan just a couple years prior, Edward came over to them and helped her up while the children hung on him. "Hello, Isabella, my beauty."

Her lips turned up at the name, it had become and unwritten rule since their marriage that everyone ended up adopting 'Bella'. The only person who did not use her beloved nickname was Jacob, to him, she would forever be 'Isabelle'. It both made her smile and drove Edward to insanity. Allowing Edward to pull her close, he kissed her forehead and then her lips. "How were things?" she asked cautiously. She was just glad that he seemed to be returning from these trips, the only long trips he took, without the look of pain on his face anymore.

"Good. Peaceful. I would like to think they are both at peace."

Bella smiled up at him, squinting a little as the sun was in her eyes. "I am glad and, as I told you before, I _know_ they are at peace. I am also glad you are home."

"I tried to come home early. I do not believe that I need to return as I usually do. It is not necessary to visit every few months. Tanya is keeping up the graves and..."

"They are always with you, Edward. You do not need their bodies underneath you to grieve for them."

"Thank you...for understanding..."

"Of course I understand! Come, let the children play. You can help me fix dinner. Oh, and Miss Charlotte stopped by. She and Peter are doing well. They expect another baby in the winter."

"That is great...and I brought you something."

Bella watched as he pulled from his bag the two books that he had brought to her the first time he went away from her. It had been during their first marriage and it was one of the first gifts he had ever given to her. Hugging them to her chest, she kissed his lips before turning to Alice, who was currently leaning into Jasper. "We are returning to the house. The children will be fine to play by themselves..."

"I will keep watch of them," shrugged Jasper. "Go welcome your husband home."

**I apologize for not getting to respond to reviews, it has been a very rough week. I have read them all and so I would like to say THANK YOU! I know it's short and sweet but it is an epilogue. I planned to write up until they decided to get married again but felt that it wouldn't be fair to leave off with chapter 14. I hope you all enjoyed this story! Thank you, as always, for your support and kind words. With every story, I always meet a few lovely people who I never forget, that's what makes this site so special. I'm proud to be part of the fanfiction community. I already have a few chapters of a new story written, and I know some of you were wondering if I was going to put up a new one and when. I am planning to launch it after Christmas as my husband and brother both celebrate birthday's before then...and of course Christmas is always a time of stress. **

**I hope you had fun with me on this story and that you keep a look out for my next one. If you have any questions at all, please let me know and I'd love to hear what you thought of my story. I don't feel right not sending you a preview. I decided that anyone who reviews will get a paragraph or two from the next story before it is released. It's much darker, set in the present, and is definitely rated M. If you are interested, just say so in your review and I'll send you a bit of it. With all that rambling done, let me just say Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and Happy Holidays to those who don't! I will be thinking of all of you! LOTS of love, Letzy xx**


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